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Dear Justhipper,
My name is Alison and I want to start a James website except I only have a few pictures from magazines and only a couple of bootlegs to trade and stuff. I was thinking about ripping a few reviews off from other people and some items from your site and your pictures, so I can look like more of a fan. Is this an okay way to become a VIP in the James community and do you think people will catch me? Alison Dear Alison, You conniving little c***! How dare you pilfer all my hard work and my effort. You spent all your life sitting on your fat bum listening to "Sit Down" and pretending to be a fan and now you want to reap the rewards of all my efforts! If you do I will hire a lawyer and see that you are paying me compensation for the rest of your pathetic, short life.
Dear Justhipper, Can you settle and argument between me and my best
friend? See, he says that he’s the bigger James fan because he got into them
when Whiplash came out and I only heard of them when my brother
bought the Best Of. But since then they’ve become my favourite
band and I’ve even seen them three times and been right at the front all three
times whereas my friend has only seen them once and was in the seated section.
So which of us loves them more? The Bigger Fan What sad excuses for James fans. Neither of you can possibly be a real fan because you only heard of them after they stopped being underground and trendy. In fact, if I catch either of you at another gig claiming that you are real fans I will bitchslap you both til you bleed.
Dear Justhipper, I am so excited. I have been looking at James websites and my wife thinks that I may be the biggest fan! I’ve been into the band since 1983, I even know Paul Gilbertson. I own every record they’ve ever done, I’ve got loads of early bootlegs, and I’ve been to over 50 gigs in the last 18 years. Surely there’s nobody still around who’s as devoted as me!? Number 1 Fan Dear Number 1, You must be taking the piss, right? You don’t do a
fanzine or a website. You haven’t been following full tours. And I’m
assuming that Tim has never mentioned you during a gig. How can you be the
biggest fan? Ok, you’re a bigger fan than most of the morons that send me
letters, but you don’t win the prize. Sorry. You’ll just have to try harder.
Tim Booth would be embarassed to know you’re out there if this is all the
effort you can muster.
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