• Mace - This culinary - long regarded as aphrodisiac - spice also yields an essential oil (Myristica fragrans) which is used in perfumery. Mace has a warm, 'male' note: the essential oil can be added to massage oil.
    (See also: Essential Oils, Massage)
  • Mallow or Marsh Mallow - (Althaea officinalis) A perennial plant found growing near the sea and close to marshy ground. Mallow was believed to have an aphrodisiac effect on women according to Pliny the Elder.
    The ancient recipe was to steep the mallow in goat's milk. Best taken as an infusion of no more than one teaspoon of dried leaves per cup.
    (See also: Wild Plants for methods and precautions)

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  • Mandarin Ducks - A well-known sexual posture in both Chinese and Japanese erotology. For a full description see the Indian 'Cobra' position.
    In the West this method of lovemaking is sometimes called 'spoon fashion' because the woman is entered from the rear and the couple fit together like spoons.
    Provided she is well-lubricated it is a good posture if the man has been ill or does not have a hard erection for some reason. Perhaps that is why the fifteenth century Zen poet Ikkyu used it with his lover the blind servant girl Mori:

    'Deep in the boudoir, how much poetry.
    A song before the wind-blow flowers, the purity of this fragrant banquet.
    Making love on the bed, a feeling of the river and the sea.
    To spend the rest of our lives like mandarin ducks, at ease on the water.'

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  • Mandrake - The plant Mandragora officinarum was used in ancient medicine as a sleeping draught. Shakespeare often mentions it and has Cleopatra say:

    'Give me to drink mandragora
    That I might sleep out the great gap of time
    My Anthony is away'.

    The mandrake root, which often grows in strange and suggestive shapes, has always been a favourite prop of charlatans and quacks. Perhaps for this reason supposed aphrodisiac qualities have been added to its known purgative effects.
    MANDRAKE SHOULD NOT BE EATEN!
    (See also: Philtres and Potions)

  • Maraichignage - A deep tonguing kiss said to take its name from the inhabitants of the Pays de Mont in the Vendée (Brittany) who are known as The Maraichins. Each partner explores the other's mouth in a tongue battle simulating genital penetration.
    Maraichignage, which is also known as Frensh kissing, has often been used with heavy petting as a substitute for genital sex. Many people enjoy the stimulation of tongue and mouth and saliva exchange involved, and continue maraichignage during lovemaking.
    Because it is both suggestive and permissable, Hollywood and television have rather over-exposed what is a useful technique but not the beginning and the end of kissing.
    (See also: Kissing)
  • Mare - A Sanskrit manual describes this technique: 'When, straightening her legs, she grips and milks your penis with her vagina - as a mare holds a stallion - it is Vadavaka, the Mare, which is not learned without practice'. The Chinese call this 'splitting the Cicada'.

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  • Marigold

    (See Bride Cakes and Wedding Cakes)
  • Masks and Blindfolds - Really quite different things with entirely different erotic possibilities, although they are often put together.
    Masks were once the fashion, at a time when assignation and discreet infidelity were an accepted way of life for the leisured classes. Ladies and their paramours could flirt openly while maintaining an illusion of anonymity among their peers; more importantly they could visit each other's houses unrecognized. They could also, if they wished, make love masked which many found exciting - and still do.
    In a mask you can be other than you are and the person you are with can be anyone you choose. If the mask is elaborate and not simply a dark shape, the wearer takes on the 'personality' of the mask. Masks are worn in some religious rituals for the same reason. Masks are not solely the prerogative of sado-masochists and can be used for lighthearted sexual games as they have been at Carnival in Venice and elsewhere for many centuries.
    Blindfolds work in a quite different way. They cause disorientation in the wearer and feelings of vulnerability. They also intensify the remaining senses and increase the possibility of surprise. All these are reasons why they are used in interrogation techniques of course, but there are also less sinister erotic applications which some people find exciting. A sstrong, dominant male becomes vulnerable and passive when blindfolded, which can be an interesting role reversal for both partners. In riding him, which is the logical conclusion, the temporary reversal is completed.
    Many people - especially if games or theatre are not part of their personality - may find masks and blindfolds absurd or kinky, or both. But this book is a menu, and the more comprehensive a menu is the less probable it is that someone will like every dish.

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  • Massage - This book is about aphrodisiacs, so we are not concerned with the highly-skilled and vigorous business of therapeutic massage, nor with Swedish massage or anything involving hand chopping or skeletal manipulation. Leave all that to the professionals - at least your experiments will be unsatisfactory, at worst they could be harmful.
    Lovers can and should experiment with light massage. The three basic actions are Effleurage, Petrissage and Finger Point.
    Effleurage is stroking with the whole hand, gently and firmly, Not too lightly - that stimulates only the hairs and skin surface, is akin to tickling and a different technique altogether.
    Petrissage is kneading - as you would bread dough - with the whole hand. The pressure is firm but not painful.
    Finger Point is for stimulating particular trigger points, either with small circular movements of the pad of one or more fingers, or by using the thumb to massage in the way that comes naturally to thumbs.
    There are many other techniques but these are the basics. A good way of learning to massage is to watch a professional massaging you - but as with sexual techniques, most people prefer to develop their skills by private experiment.
    Oil is not mandatory but it adds another tactile sensation as well as the possibility of perfume. The entry on Essential Oils lists those with special erotic associations. Only use a few drops of essential oil to perfume a non-sticky base oil such as grapeseed, almond, or hazlenut - the last two are reputed aphrodisiacs in their own right. The stimulating essential oils are not only inhaled, they soak into the skin. The range of essential oils generally available is enormous. Many culinary herbs and spices are available as essential oils (e.g. Anis, Basil, Bay, Black Pepper, Cardamom, Cinnamon, Coriander, Cumin, Fennel, Ginger, Mace, Marjoram, Nutmeg, Rosemary and Vanilla) and it is fun to experiment with those you like and even to blend them. See the entry on Essential Oils for the proportions and method. Do not use too much oil in massage and do not get oil with essential oil added near mucous membrane (vulva or anus) in any quantity. For a vivid account of what astringent substances in the bottom feel like see David Niven's autobiography 'The Moon's a Ballon'.
    Aphrodisiac massage is intended to end with sex - genital, oral or manual, or a combination of all three. Therefore a warm room and a surface which you can spill oil on happily is important. If you do not like the idea of oil on the sheets or making love on a large bathtowel - forget the oil. A sheet specifically for massage is the best answer. It is a shame to consign massage to the bathroom unless yours is particulary sumptuous. Experiment with foot massage first of all.
    Unless you massage the calf you will not need petrissage which is better for parts such as buttocks and thighs. Feet are very sensitive and there are supposed erotic triggers just above the heel and below the ankle bone on both sides. Between the toes is very important, as is a line running along the middle of the underside between heel and ball. If you are not using oil (or perhaps even if you are) try sucking toes individually. Always keep massage balanced: both feet, both arms, both sides fo the body. And to keep everything balanced, your partner should massage your feet after you have finished. Foot massage is relaxing, sensual and a good way to begin.
    On a different occasion (massage is tiring on the hands) explore the rest of your partner's body and use petrissage, particularly on large muscles. The purpous of aphrodisiac massage is to find individual erotic triggers and to relax and stimulate your partner's body at the same time. Try to keep communication tactile and visual unless something is painful or irritating. Too much talking is an anaphrodisiac for both parties.
    Men's bodies tend to be more predictable, but women often have very sensitive, non-genital trigger points. If you are not finding some unexpected ones you are not looking hard enough or being sufficiently imaginative in varying pressure and technique.
    Some good places to concentrate your search in either sex correspond to some of the acupuncture points and meridians. For example the 'milk line' that runs from the middle finger up the centre of the palm and the inside of the arm and across to the nipple.
    The central lower back above the buttocks, along the spine and immediately either side is another good area for sexual trigger points. Also a straight line from above the pubic hair to the navel, and the whole of the perineum - the area between vulva and anus or scrotum and anus.
    Constantly vary technique and pressure of hand or fingers, and use lips or erect penis as an alternative if it seems appropriate. A harem technique which has been commercialized in the Far East is 'total body massage'. Both partners are anointed with a bland oil and the woman uses the whole of her body to massage the man. Alternatively you can take turns in exciting and exploring each other, taking full advantage of your new-found lubricity!
    (See also: Breasts and Nipples, Essential Oils, Foot, Pattes D'Araignée)

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  • Masturbation - Statistics indicate that 85 per cent of women and 95 per cent of men masturbate themselves. Unfortunately not all of them do so in an untroubled, guiltless way because of the prejudices and Old Wives Tales which are associated with masturbation. There are psuchological disorders in which compulsive masturbation is a component (NOT a cause) but self-masturbation is normally healthy behaviour. It is normal for it to occur within a full and satisfactory sex life with a partner - it is a different thing, with a different nuance of sensation and it does not necessarily imply that the partner is failing in some way. Masturbation is not as good or fulfilling as sex with a partner, it can never be. But there is nothing wrong with it as even some otherwise sexually sophisticated people persist in believing.
    In the absence of a partner masturbation is essential. If you are midle-aged and alone it is a good idea to masturbate in order to keep your body alive to sex and your hormones in full production. You will look better, feel better and not have any problems resuming a sexually active life if a partner comes along.
    Guilt is probably the most effective anaphrodisiac of them all, which is why the more repressed and repressive Victorian teachers combined it with cold baths and left us with with a legacy of ignorance and misery. The main reason for including masturbation in a book on aphrodisiacs is its importance in lovemaking.
    Masturbation is the only way of learning about our own sexual responses, which is why sex therapists use it when women have orgasm problems. You can hardly expect someone else to give you an orgasm if you cannot do it yourself and do not fully understand your own responses. masturbation is also a way of learning about your partner: doing it to yourself for your partner as a piece of erotic drama is not only a powerful visual aphrodisiac (next time together!) it is also instructive.

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    Learning how someone masturbates is important because all good lovers do it for each other as a regular part of lovemaking. In women it is chiefly to bring them closer to orgasm (though it need not to be); in men it is used in foreplay to achieve and maintain erection, and as an important end in itself. Women who feel let down and unloved if a man does not always erect spontaneously without being masturbated are displaying sad ignorance of male physiology. Put that in the Victorian box room together with the other junk like 'women don't enjoy sex', 'washing is unmanly'.
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    Masturbation is an additional pleasure you can give your male partner and an essential skill for a woman. Do it for a change, for a second or third orgasm in protracted lovemaking, or simply when he is tired and you want to please him. It is not simply economics or fear of disease which have kept masturbation among the most important skills a prostitute has in her armoury. At some periods, notably in Paris and venice, there were professionals who only pleased men in that way.
    The best way to discover how your lover likes to be masturbated is to ask him to show you. he is not as sensitive as you are but clumsiness with his glans or the tight skin under the foreskin if he is uncircumcized is painful and very anaphrodisiac!
    A technique he may not know himself is to masturbate him by moving the loose skin on the shaft of the penis up and down. When he is close to orgasm but before contractions begin, pull the skin back from the glans tightly (but not too tightly) and wait. Do not move at all, even when he begins to ejaculate - only after his ejaculation is nearly over, move down again to the loose skin to complete matters with a few more strokes. The effect - if you get it right - will tell you why masturbation is a skill to be perfected.
    In masturbating her do not concentrate only on the clitoris. Ask her to show you how she does it herself. Finally, it must be said that the tongue is a better instrument for masturbating a woman than a finger.
    (See also: Gamahuche)

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  • Mimicry - It is a characteristic of human sexual and other behaviour that we often do to others what we would like them to do to us. Sensitive lovers are aware of this and use it to improve their lovemaking. Mimicry is a concept which can be helpful rather than a precise technique. But if she spends a good deal of time nibbling your earlobes when you have never expresed any particular desire for it, it may be worth reciprocating.

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  • Mint - This widely-used culinary herb has some reputation as an aphrodisiac, especially for men. Shakespeare classes it with lavender, savory and marjoram as being useful as a stimulant for 'men of middle-age' in 'The Winter's Tale' - one of his last plays and written when he may have been interested in such matters.
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  • Mirrors - Simple and very effective aphrodisiacs which have always been used to good effect in the best bordellos. many sexual postures offer good tactile stimulus but low visual excitement. For example a woman may find rear-entry positions unsatisfactory for that reason. A carefully placed mirror is the solution. Looking in a mirror also enables both lovers to see all the action rather than half of it, which is important sometimes. Our own bodies can be visually exciting. To glimpse ourselves making love also affirms and underlines the fact of our lovemaking and heightens the eroticism.
    (See also: Bordellos)
  • Mistletoe - (Viscum album) The English practice of 'kissing under the mistletoe' obviously has its origins in pagan fertility rituals. The semen-like berries and the leaves have been used in folk medicine and by modern herbalists but dosage is extremely critical. MISTLETOE SHOULD NOT BE EATEN.
  • Monkey - In this Hindu posture the position of the legs should be varied to achieve different effects: his between hers, hers together, or flanquette.
    (See also: Flanquette)

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  • Mountain Facing Tree - A Taoist lovemaking posture where the woman rides the man. He lies on his back and she faces away from him stimulating her own clitoris as she rises and falls on him.

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  • Mugwort - (Artemisia vulgaris) Related to wormwood (artemisia absinthium) with reputed aphrodisiac effects. The chopped, flowerin herb sprinkled over fat pork, duck or goose is a marvellous condimant. It can also be used as a herb in white sauces with fish, especially eel. Mugwort should not be taken in high concentration or over long periods.
    (See also: Wild Plants for methods and precautions)
  • Mulberry - The luscious and delicately flavoured black mulberry (white mulberry is delicious only to silkworms) is an age-old aphrodisiac. In plant mythology it is associated with the tragic lovers Pyramus and Thisbe, the red stains below a mulberry tree symbolizing the blood from their broken hearts.

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  • Mushroom - Perhaps because of their often phallic appearance and suggestive male odour, mushrooms were regarded as a sexual stimulant by many Arab physicians.
    If you have never fried button mushrooms lightly in a little oil, adding chopped garlic and a dash of sherry or sweet wine at the last moment - include the dish in your list of aphrodisiac hors d'oeuvres.
  • Music - Literature, and real life, is full of musical seducers: the demonic virtuoso viloinist, the student playing Chopin polonaises to his girlfriend and the rock star in a stadium are notoriously successful sexually because of the aphrodisiac effect of music. As individuals they may be unremarkable, but they are the medium for an infinitely powerful art - they share in its glamour and become associated with it in the mind of the listener who is vulnerable to the opportunistic seducer while under its influence.
    Music's power to excite and 'carry away' is not fully understood and this is not the place to analyze the genius of the great composers or themagic of the soloist. Some noticeably 'erotic' music has an insistent heartbeat rhythm (e.g. Ravel's Bolero) other pieces use crecendo in a way which parallels sexual excitement and release, but it is obviously more complicated than that.
    All that is important is to remember that music is a potent mood setter and aphrodisiac, and can be used in that way.
    (See also: Dance, Performing Arts)

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  • Musk - Real musk is derived from a gland near the genitals of the musk-deer. As it is very expensive, perfumes often imitate it with blends of the vegetable essential oils ambrette and angelica which cannot replicate the pheromones which are the real point of musk. (see Sense of Smell)
    The original purpose of musk is to carry sexual signals to other musk-deer. When combined with different aromas by perfumers it has the ability ot 'carry' those to human noses. Some women value musk on its own as a sexual allure for thie own species. It is not a new idea - coutesans used to carry small bladders of it about their person in order to burst them at suitably erotic moments.
    The absence of unpleasant incidents involving women who use the substance as a perfume and male musk-deer can only be explained by the relative scarcity of the animal.
    (See also: Essential Oils, Perfumery and Scent)
  • Mussels - A delicious and widely-available shellfish with a long reputation as an aphrodisiac. The erotic association may derive from the impudent internal organs of this bivalve which often surprise the unwary eater. The Italians call the mussel cozzo which means 'cock'.
    (See also: Easting and Food, Seafood)
  • Mustard - A Roman importation into Northern Europe, mustard is a valuable spice and an essential ingredient in many sauces and dishes. In the Arab world it has long been prized as a sexual stimulant.
  • Mystic - In this position the woman sits on the curled leg of her lover and raises her own. Not quite as difficult as it looks, but best attempted on a soft bed with plenty of cushions and pillows.

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