The Curse
of Anna Kournikova?
By DAVID ZOOK Unbiased Observer

- Who: Sam Adams (2-0) at Duff Beer(1-1)
- When: 3:30 p.m. Saturday - TV: CBS
- Line: Sam Adams by 7
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The struggles of Anna Kournikova in her professional tennis
career have been well documented. As a beautiful young Russian
teenager Anna ascended into the top 10 of the WTA rankings.
Her amazing beauty landed her countless magazine covers and
lucrative endorsment deals. But as her fame, popularity and net
worth sky rocketed, her tennis playing collapsed.
Sadly, after years of letting coasting on her
looks, the WTA finally showed a flash of profesional integrity and
forced Anna to start qualifying for tournaments in 2000. Left
without any guarenteed TV exposure Anna was left searching for other
opportunities in order to appease her irratated sponsors.
Just when her options were looking bleak, into the picture steps
a savy New Oreleans business man named Scott Gautreaux. It was in a
drunken haze on Fat Tuesday that Gautreaux saw Kournikova and
has he puts it "I simply made the most daring move of my entire
life. I was really just trying to get her into bed with me. You
know... I was puttin my moves on... talking about how I was the big
man on campus and running the football team."
"I was bragging about how the Drunks were on tv every week had a
guarenteed contract with NBC and then I made my move." On the verge
of blacking out and desperate to take advantage of this unbelivable
opportunity Gautreaux searched desperatly for the magical pick-up
line and spit out "So, I'm looking for a coach, I think you could
really teach me a thing or to. Why don't we head back to my place
and talk things over."
"Well, I thought I had struck out and was done
for. She just kind of winked at me smiled and walked away.
I really thought that was the end of it. I told all
of my friends that I bagged her, but of course they didn't believe me."
But, that was just the beginning, one
week later Anna showed up at the Drunks practice facility and said
that she was ready to start a new career and was ready to coach.
"Now how can you say no
to an offer like that. I just asked her when she wanted
to start and gave her the full use of the shower in my office."
But now, two years later, is the honeymoon over? The reviews on Anna's
coaching performance have been mixed at best. A gifted recruiter
she has assembled the most talented Drunk team ever. But, her
coaching of that talent has been woefully inadequate and the Drunk
faithful that so desperately want to see a winner are beginning
to demand results.
One has to wonder if Anna's most recent breakdown (see associated
story) is a sign of trouble for the drunks. Are the drunks really
just a team that looks good on paper, but just don't know how to win
games and close out the season? Are teams led by Anna doomed to melt
under the pressure?
Sam Adams U and Kournikova have always had a history of underachieving. Why
should we expect anything else out of this team? But one things for sure;
with Anna on the sidelines, this will always be an interesting team
to watch.
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