The Curse of Anna Kournikova?

By DAVID ZOOK
Unbiased Observer


- Who: Sam Adams (2-0) at Duff Beer(1-1)
- When: 3:30 p.m. Saturday
- TV: CBS
- Line: Sam Adams by 7

The struggles of Anna Kournikova in her professional tennis career have been well documented. As a beautiful young Russian teenager Anna ascended into the top 10 of the WTA rankings.

Her amazing beauty landed her countless magazine covers and lucrative endorsment deals. But as her fame, popularity and net worth sky rocketed, her tennis playing collapsed.

Sadly, after years of letting coasting on her looks, the WTA finally showed a flash of profesional integrity and forced Anna to start qualifying for tournaments in 2000. Left without any guarenteed TV exposure Anna was left searching for other opportunities in order to appease her irratated sponsors.

Just when her options were looking bleak, into the picture steps a savy New Oreleans business man named Scott Gautreaux. It was in a drunken haze on Fat Tuesday that Gautreaux saw Kournikova and has he puts it "I simply made the most daring move of my entire life. I was really just trying to get her into bed with me. You know... I was puttin my moves on... talking about how I was the big man on campus and running the football team."

"I was bragging about how the Drunks were on tv every week had a guarenteed contract with NBC and then I made my move." On the verge of blacking out and desperate to take advantage of this unbelivable opportunity Gautreaux searched desperatly for the magical pick-up line and spit out "So, I'm looking for a coach, I think you could really teach me a thing or to. Why don't we head back to my place and talk things over."

"Well, I thought I had struck out and was done for. She just kind of winked at me smiled and walked away. I really thought that was the end of it. I told all of my friends that I bagged her, but of course they didn't believe me."

But, that was just the beginning, one week later Anna showed up at the Drunks practice facility and said that she was ready to start a new career and was ready to coach.

"Now how can you say no to an offer like that. I just asked her when she wanted to start and gave her the full use of the shower in my office."

But now, two years later, is the honeymoon over? The reviews on Anna's coaching performance have been mixed at best. A gifted recruiter she has assembled the most talented Drunk team ever. But, her coaching of that talent has been woefully inadequate and the Drunk faithful that so desperately want to see a winner are beginning to demand results.

One has to wonder if Anna's most recent breakdown (see associated story) is a sign of trouble for the drunks. Are the drunks really just a team that looks good on paper, but just don't know how to win games and close out the season? Are teams led by Anna doomed to melt under the pressure?

Sam Adams U and Kournikova have always had a history of underachieving. Why should we expect anything else out of this team? But one things for sure; with Anna on the sidelines, this will always be an interesting team to watch.

 


Damn!! (Tony Crumpton/The CCFFL Observer - 09/07/02) 
  

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PHOTOS

Random pervert at tennis match paid hunderds of dollars to take a pic of Anna's undies. Guy in sunglasses cries, "I spent $5,000 for this seat for this one moment and she bends over in the wrong direction!" (Dave Zook/ CCFFL Observer 5/30/02)

Let us all just stare in silence (Aug. 30)


Another shameless underwear shot. Won't these photographers ever leave Anna alone?(Apr. 30)