DR. BROWN: You know, all you had to do was be here when they came. Now if that's too much for your schedule...
EPHRAM: ...I was here.
DR. BROWN: And they came?
EPHRAM: Oh, yeah.
DR. BROWN: Then why is that thing still out there chewing on our lawn?
EPHRAM: Because Elmer was going to dump it on a rifle range. Practically painted a bull's-eye on its ass.
DR. BROWN: Well what are we gonna do with it? It can't stay here.
EPHRAM: I'm gonna take her home.
DR. BROWN: Say again?
EPHRAM: I'm gonna take her home.
DR. BROWN: You do realize that deer live in the woods. Up in the mountains. Outside?
EPHRAM: She's from a protective reserve a few hours from here. I've already got it mapped out, [his father begins to giggle] I'm gonna get a ride in the morning and hike overnight... WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?!?
DR. BROWN: Well for one, you don't know the first thing about hiking. And two, you don't know the first thing about hiking. Forget about it, you're not going.
EPHRAM: I am so.
[He leaves the kitchen. Dr. Brown calls after him.]
DR. BROWN: Ephram!
[Dr. Brown dumps some cookies in a plate into the trash. Delia screams.]
DELIA: NO!
DR. BROWN: What's the matter?
DELIA: You threw away the cookies. Those were for God!
DR. BROWN: For God?
DELIA: I thought if I left cookies and God ate them, it'd prove he's real.
DR. BROWN: I thought cookies were Santa.
DELIA: God could like cookies!
DR. BROWN: What's the matter sweetheart, are you OK?
DELIA: Magilla sneezed and said God wasn't real.
DR. BROWN: And you wanna prove Magilla wrong?
DELIA: Aha.
DR. BROWN: I can get behind that. How about I fix up a fresh plate for the big guy?
[Delia cheers up.]
[Cut to outside. Ephram is feeding the deer. Dr. Brown comes out.]
DR. BROWN: Look. You can't expect to shepherd a deer back to the mountains, Ephram, don't be ridiculous.
EPHRAM: She has a home out there. She just needs help getting back to it. How is that any more ridiculous than what you did?
DR. BROWN: What did I do?
EPHRAM: You moved us to Everwood because of some psychotic sense of destiny. Don't I get my turn? I don't know, maybe I'm just supposed to do this, I don't know why, maybe I just am.
[Dr. Brown looks around for a while.]
DR. BROWN: OK. Alright. But I'm going with you.
EPHRAM: No way.
DR. BROWN: You said you wanted to go.
EPHRAM: Not with you.
DR. BROWN: I'm not about to let my 15 year old, who doesn't know a pine tree from a baked potato, go exploring the tundra alone. If you wanna go, you'd better pack enough trail mix for two!
[Ephram considers.]
