MAGILLA: Yes, I won.
[Cut to outside Dr. Brown's office. Edna is working on her motorcycle. Irv approaches with some lunch.]
IRV: Hey. I brought you a chicken Parmesan. I thought you might be hungry.
EDNA: Hey watch it now; you're spilling tomato sauce all over my drill bits.
IRV: I'll just set it over here for you. Guess what. It looks like they may not be tearing down the kissing bridge, after all.
EDNA: And why wouldn't they tear it down?
IRV: Because I went down to the City Council meeting and asked them not to.
EDNA: Why in the world would you do a thing like that, has your brain gone AWOL?
IRV: Now, look here, woman. I don't know what you want from me.
EDNA: I don't want anything. I can't believe you'd go in to a City Council meeting. Who do you think you are?
IRV: Your husband. And the last time I checked, it was well within a husband's right to try to cheer up his grouch of a wife.
EDNA: In the first place, if I needed cheering up, I would rent Terminator like I always do. Second, I don't give a damn about that old bridge.
IRV: You certainly acted like you did the other day. A-and now you've busted out your tool kit. I know something's bugging you.
EDNA: You don't know diddlysquat!
[She grabs her jacket and leaves.]
IRV: Where you going now?
EDNA: To the video store!
[Cut to the Abbott home at night. The family is sitting at dinner.]
ROSE: Have you decided who you're asking to the fall dance this year, Amy?
[Bright giggles.]
AMY: It's not funny, Jackass.
DR. ABBOTT: Amy. Language.
BRIGHT: What is the big deal? It's not like you're gonna ask him anyways.
AMY: That's not the point, Bright. Besides, you don't know that for a fact.
BRIGHT: Oh, so you would've asked him? Well... you'd better thank me then 'cause I probably saved your entire reputation.
DR. ABBOTT: You would've asked who, what? What are we talking about?
AMY: Nothing. I'm not asking anybody to the dance, OK? Let's just change the subject.
ROSE: Sweetheart, Colin wouldn't want you to sit home alone...
AMY: Can we just drop it, please?
[They sit in silence for a moment.]
DR. ABBOTT: Well... Um, I have an announcement to make. Due to your mother's warped sense of humor, I'm going to be hosting a sex education assembly at your high school this week. I realize this may be a bit uncomfortable for the both of you, especially considering the highly sensitive subject matter, which is why I wanted to open it up to a family discussion. Any thoughts?
[Bright motions with his fork that his father is crazy.]
DR. ABBOTT: Amy?
AMY: Is this 'cause Susie Clark got a VD?
[Dr. Abbott just about chokes on his food.]
ROSE: How do you know about Susie Clark?
AMY: Everybody knows.
BRIGHT: I didn't know.
AMY: How could you not know? You dated her.
[Dr. Abbott chokes again.]
BRIGHT: That was a million years ago. That was back when Francie was still in the picture.
DR. ABBOTT: Francie? Francie who? |
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