Buying Yourself Short

Free market worshipers are always quick to point to Japan as an example of the success of their economic messiah. Of course, the "Asian miracle" has been in recession for a decade, but you can't blame capitalism for that; the fault lies solely with the Japanese. They just haven't been good little consumers. You see, the Japanese have become experts at something North Americans just can't seem to figure out: saving for a rainy day. For every single man, woman, and child in Japan there are about two hundred thousand dollars in savings. Consumer spending has been mediocre as a result. It seems your mother, your teacher, Sesame Street, and The Berenstein Bears were all in a socialist conspiracy to devestate the economy when they taught you to save your money.

How selfish of them! How dare they save their money when they should be buying new cars, TVs, and computers to replace the two year old antiques they have now! Why save money, anyway? The free market will take care of you....until you get too close to collecting your pension, or you get hurt on the job, or you have to miss a couple of days for heart surgery. That's the fundamental flaw of the free market economy: it's dependent upon consumers buying more and more new useless crap, while landfills fill up with more and more old useless crap. You hear everyone bitching about being bombarded with marketing, but the truth is that without marketing there wouldn't be anything to trick is into buying things we don't need (or, in many cases, even want).

That's why this whole thing is just scapegoating. If planning for the future is wrecking the economy then the economy is in the wrong. And while we're on the subject of dysfunctional economics, what about the world's billionaires? How much of their income are they spending? How much is in savings? Economists just can't admit that capitalism is anything less than perfect. What's next? Are they gonna start a petition to ban St. Vincent de Paul and Value Village because they prevent people from buying new stuff? I can just see the S.W.A.T. team pulling up to an ordinary-looking house and raiding a illicit garage sale. Maybe we can take all the money we're "throwing away" on social spending and put it towards buying back everything more than two years old, so it can be incinerated. .

But why should you care what I say? After all, I'm typing this on a 386! When my book bag ripped, I dutifully duct-taped it every week until the zippers gave! I haven't done my civic duty; I've let my country down. So, please, for the good of the nation, don't follow my example. Our future is dependent upon you using up our natural resources as quickly as possible. What's that? There's only one TV in your house?! You use energy efficient light bulbs?! You drive a Hyundai Pony?! Well, thrift felon, you'd better straighten up and fly right, 'cause I think Allan Greenspan's headed over to your place with a baseball bat.