23rd Jan 2004

21st Jan -- My granddad just passed on.. He was staying alone until last mth when my dad forced him to stay with us cos of his condition. He reluctantly agreed. He can’t talk (cos his voice box was taken out) or hear well. So he just showed hand signs that he wanted to stay with my dad (his oldest son) for a mth, then he wanna go back to his own home. I’m not close to this granddad cos.. well if u read my earlier entries.. he’s not a granddad most grandchild would think about.. every single day.. but now I realise, even though we are not close.. my heart sadden with his lost. I didn’t even realise I cried when they were reading the prayers.. the tears just flowed down my cheeks. And I regretted that I didn’t kiss his forehead one last time.. or even sent him off to his resting place. I shld’en have listened to my aunties sayin that gerls are not supposed to go or what not. I shld have been there, to see the last words being said to my late granddad that made all the men cried.. I shld have been there… I shld have… *cries*..

Today’s the 2nd day he left us all.. and I still feel empty.. I pass by the room that he was stayin and still looked into the room.. just like I used to do every time I pass by it.. just to check if he was still breathing or if he was calling any of us when he needs help. The day he left us, me, my mum and my sister was outside our house.. talking about him.. When we came back, our maid called my mum.. and she was sayin that he doesn’t wanna wake up.. My mum called and shook him.. and he’s just lying there still.. I still remember the look on my mum’s face when she said.. he’s gone..

I’m still cryin as I’m writing this.. I used to think that I would not cry till my eyes were swollen.. but I guess that I’m wrong.. Like my dad always said to his younger siblings.. No matter how bad our father is to us in the past.. U have to forget and forgive him.. cos ultimately, he’s the one who brought us up. Even though when my dad quarrelled with him, and my granddad told my dad not to step into his house, my dad still forgave him and supports him till the day he left us.

To my dearest granddad.. the last of my grandparents.. Please forgive me for all my sins and that I’ll always love u no matter what.. May u rest in peace.. Amin…

Muira


:: Doc’s Appt ::

16th Jan 2004

Had driving lessons.. wow less then 2 weeks to my TP test.. now im feeling kindda nervous and scared.. haha I wonder how I would be like on the day itself!!

Went to CGH for my appointment with the doc.. well he asked a lot of questions.. then he did a few physical tests on me.. he said that its normal to have those migraines.. but he told me to go for a CT Scan.. juz to be sure there’s nothing up there.. Hmm appointment for the scan is next Tuesday.. Really really hopes there’s nuthin wrong with me.. Maybe juz due to extreme brightness or stress… *prays*

Muira


:: *Sad Face* ::

13th Jan 2004


PATHETIC.. went to Montip at bugis to see if the bag that I wanted is there but the design that I wanted was SOLD OUT! ARGHHHHHH.

Anyways.. met Varian at bugis.. small world huh. He was supposed to meet someone but I guess it was cancelled last minute or somethin so he was like.. ok i'll join u guys shopping!! heehee

So went to the market.. wishing that i cld find some bag that is identical or better then the one I saw at Montip.. but pathetically, the shops are not open yet.. and there is a new Level 2 at Bugis Market. Kindda small and the shops are not rented out yet.. hmm give it a few more weeks. Might get good bargains there.. :)

After the short shopping trip, went to visit Izan, my sec sch classmate. She was recently involved in an accident. She broke her left leg, fractured her ribs and her wrists.. sigh.. and she was riding with a guy she barely knew!! Got her some chocolates and juz update ourselves with some latest updates.. then we’re off back to Tampines Mall. Hmm still no bag. *pouts*

Muira


:: Meeting Meeting! ::

12th Jan 2004


Went to have a meeting with Kart and Lia. Told Lia abt what we have come up with so far and we brainstormed for a while. Cut of some aspects of the project cos it might be to taxing for us to handle too much stuff. So far for now juz stickin with our main objectives.

After 4 hrs of sitting, our conversation became more nonsensical, so decided to have dinner at Mc D. Went shopping for while then went to meet Joel, Shifar's cousin to get some stuff from him.

While shopping, we came across this shoulder bag with cute dolls printed on it. Costs $17. BUT... the lining sucks.. and they use the round magnet thingy to keep the bag closed.. Really loved it but in the end didnt get it.. cos its not really worth it.. So i planned to ask Anna out tomorro and go wonder ard in Bugis market and see wats for sale there.

So after walkin ard, me and lia went to chill at Coffee Bean.. and while we were smoking and chatting, this lady came up and went to the table beside ours and picked up the receipt off the table.. then she walked further and picked up the receipt on the FLOOR!.. So me and Lia were like wide-eyed.. and we watched her further and saw her talkin to the uncle pushing the bin trolley.. assuming that she asked him if he has any receipts for her.. hahha and we were thinking.. is she gonna claim that amt off the receipts from her company or what? Then we remembered that at Century Sq, if u spent more then $30, you get to.. fish.. well they build this huge indoor pond and had some huge and small fishes in it. Talking abt bizzare ppl!

Well while having a meeting, someone called me asking me out for a movie.. and I told him that I can't cos I'm having a meeting.. and he was like.. "pls.. wat abt after ur meeting".. and I was like.. sory dude, my fren cancelled her work just to stay with us for the meeting. I duno wats with these guys.. i've told them that im not ready to date.. well unless I like that person la! lol.. but back to them.. they dun seem to take the hint that i dun want anything more then friendship.. I've tried sayin No.. sayin im not interested, sayin not the time yet.. even said I’m a lesbian! Still it doesn’t work... Help Me!!! Talked to Anna at night.. asked her out to Bugis for Bag hunting.. So when I told her abt my guy prob.. she was like "I think ah.. one of Lyn mates (from Zouk) likes u leh.." and I’m like... WHAT? u sure not? no way la!! wat makes u think he likes me sia? He didn’t even like try to pull me away from the crowd to dance or talk to me.. So well she said that during New Year's he was sorta closest to me.. talked to me.. and yea I remembered.. he was being sweet and friendly u know.. mayb tryin not to make me felt left out or somethin.. but I seriously didn’t think other that that. And Anna was adding that he was trying to talk to me outside Phuture but guess that he was too shy.. and we were all deaf by the time we came out.. hahaha.. Really la I think she’s juz seeing things.. and.. paranoid I guess.. cos all the men are after her.. AAHHAHHHAHHHAHA.



Muira


:: Another night out ::

11th Jan 2004


Didnt expect to go out.. but yea Anna called sayin she got invites to Zouk.. and Tiramisu's performing.. Well I know the bassist of that band and he did ask me to come.. but lazy la.. So.. dragged my arse of my hse at 9 then fetch Anna from parliament hse.. then went to Zouk. We were lucky.. cos when I reached there, Jill was already in the queue.. and she was right outside the door. so haha got in pretty quick. Then met the other guys.. the ones i was with at New Years.. Cool ppl..

Waited for Tiramisu to perform.. They were good.. The vocalist was very.. expressive and he seems passionate abt his music..but Alan said that performance was the worse they ever had.. hahhaha. Blamed it on the soundman...

After that went to phuture. They had RNB on for a while then went to trance..then at 2am.. DNB!! woo hoo tts wat the crowd was waiting for.. the dance floor was shakin.. oh ya and I was surprised when FAZWIN aka poochie was there!! haha. He texted me askin if I was at phture and I’m like.. Ya.. guess he must be there too. I really thought he was tired after workin late and chilling at home.. hhahaha. Danced till 3 plus then most of my frens went out to take a breather.. Sit and chat with Sham, Azmey and Rashid for a while.. then went off.. while waiting for a cab.. this mad indian guy was like kickin a cab.. hahha i guess someone sorta took his cab.. he was with this Caucasian teenager, Betsy (she came and asked Rashid for a ciggy so they asked her name and all.. MEN!).. and the gerl was pissed of by his attitude, she just got in the cab and showed him the middle finger.. haha. Boy was he pissed!

Today.. woke up early thanks to my sister.. and now I’m soooo tired.. and I might have to go for another meeting tomorro.. man.. sighh ok I’m gonna watch tele now.. Toodlesss.

Muira


:: Goin Bonkers... My Baby and ME!! ::

9th Jan 2004


** Wats dat smell... *

*Smells the air of 2004.. hmm more like my strawberry body shower gel hahhaha* *Listening to Ruben's Sorry 2004*

Well well here we go.. 9 days into 2004. A lot of things had happen and will be happening.. hmm i juz can sense it.. call it 6th Sense..

** New Year's celebration **

Ok 1st up New Years celebration.. well it was once again a last minute decision to go to Phuture.. We had planned to go to Centro. then mayb chill at the Esplanade till dawn.. then one of my frens asked me to go to Ministry of Sound (M.O.S) and another one of my frens asked me to go to Zouk to join her and her mates. So sms here sms there, call here call there and we end up going to Phuture with Lynda and met her grp of frens there.. Really nice ppl.

They are juz somewhat like my circle of frens back in college.. the crazy kinds.. haha Spent the countdwn there with them.. stayed till like 4am then head over to Mahalo's Tunnel at East Coast. On the way went to McDonalds to grab burgers.. haha. we all were hungry after all that dancing and hugging and pushing and shoving. When we board the cab, we cld her the music from Tunnel but Mahalo was dark.. haha and 2 of the entrances were closed.. so we had to enter by the longer route. And can you believe that we had to pay cover charge! At like 5.40am?! bunch of bullcrap man.. But thank got my old pri mate used to work there, so we got in for free. Hahhahaha U know me.. Free here Free there. Anyways Tunnel was.. errm.. well kinda empty.. hahha I think there were abt 50 or 60 ppl only.. We can practically lie down on the dancefloor and no one wld step on us.. haha. The music at Tunnel was much better but the lights.. man I think the guy doin the lights got ISSUES man! I think its like their trademark.. to have such blinding lights.. Anyways, Lynda bf and gang came by to tunnel and tts the 1st time I got to talk to their sister. All the while it was Lynda who told me and how cool she was.. She was alright.. nice gal and easy to talk to. Her bf was drunk.. and I think so was she.. ahahha. We all left at abt the same time and she asked us along to join them at Simpang Bedok.. but I was like.. errrm nah its ok.. some other time.. (Shy la) lol oh did I mention that me and her are like neighbours? haha we got to know only like recently.. So me and Anna walked to Katong to catch the morning bus.. hehhehe We were like lifeless in the bus. hhahhaha.

** Baby Lappy went Bonkers!! **

Ok that was like the 1st day.. then the 2nd day.. well had to go driving.. and my feet were like killing me! From the sitting position, it was painful to be standing let alone walking.. and imagine to drive a manual car.. PAINFUL!!. And dat was not as bad.. at night, when i was writing my entries, my laptop juz went DEAD! YA! and i was sooo freaked out.. i tot it was some stupid NEW Years virus.. and it was a sat so i had to wait till Monday to call the agent up and asked for help. So my weekend was spent worrying.. abt my dear baby laptop.. I mean if they really had to brainwash my dear baby.. tts it man.. I’d kill myself.. There are so many things in this brain and i cant afford to loose them.

** Gone Broke.. **

Fri and Sat went out to meet up with my old frens.. catch up on old times.. so juz went to sit and chill at cafe Cartel.. Nuthin much happened.. just spend more cash.. sighh

** Tattoo PPL listen up!! **

On the 5th, had a meeting with Kartini. We are planning on doing an Exhibition. Errm cant release much details as yet.. But anyone out there, who has a unique TATTOO, or tattoos all over ur body or head or arse.. wherever!! pls pls pls drop me a MAIL. Thank You so very much!!

Hmmm a few stuff happenin soon.. well i got a Doctor's Appt next week.. and my TP test is later this mth.. apart of that.. my life is like water in a well.. stagnant hahha.

Ok tts all.. the past 4 days was spent at HOME.. ARGHHH I’m goin bonkers.. but the good thing is, no money spent.. hahhaha Toodlessss..

Muira


:: NEW YEAR NEW YEAR NEW YEAR!! - Part 2 ::

7th Jan 2004

Happy new year to everyone reading dis. Ok.. new years celebration was at phuture.. went with Anna and Lynda.. then met Lyn's frends there.. cool bunch.. can make u larf till no tomorro. It was soo god damn packed man! cant even dance properly.. and I tot all that bloody humans were at Ministry of Sound.

Anyways the music cld have been better. Initial plan was to go to Centro, then hang out at esplanade till daybreak.. then there was MOS.. but thinking of how packed it was last year, we sorta cancled it out and went to Zouk. Seriously didn’t expect it to be packed.. but it was.. sigh.. anyways had a ball of a time..

Muira


:: NEW YEAR NEW YEAR NEW YEAR!! ::

5th Jan 2004

Haidehoooo ok im gonna make this short for now.. its juz that i had my entry typed put and saved on my Laptop.. but then on the 2nd of JANUARY 2004.. while deleting some songs.. my Laptop went KAAPOOOT! So now im stuck on my PC.. So finally i had the new layout up..cute ey? heehee. Anywas juz gimmie a few days to get my entries up aight.. I'll write abt my New Year Celebrations..

Ok tts all and im outs.. HAPPY HEW YEAR ALLLLL

Muira

catch me :: if :: i fall