catch me :: if :: i fall


:: 31st Oct 2004 ::

YEY! End of the month! Tomorros the start of a brand new month! I duno why the hell am i so happy abt a brand new month. Im getting crazier by the day. Goin bonkers. Anyways yest, went to do my hair.. Intended to highlight them red but then i realise that color wont stay long. It fades off after like 2 weeks.. so i settled with platinum brown and gold highlights. Looks ok la but i think it wld look nicer if i had long hair. Now my hair looks like an overgrown mushroom. hahha

Went to MANGO after dinner. Supposed to get that denim skirt for Anna's birthday but in the end we both spent over $200 cos we wanna apply for the MANGO privilege card. Haha are we nuts or wat! We spent like over 2 hrs tryin to look for clothes that will bring the bills up to $200. Thank god im working if not i duno where the hell am i supposed to dig for that cash.

Chilled out at California Bistro after that.. then went over to madmonks. I duno la.. but i wasnt feeling u know.. myself yest.. and u know what.. i think im in love.. ok no mayb love is too much of a strong word. I think im infatuated.. with a bisexual guy! (though i think hes more into men..) What the hell is wrong with me! Is there not enuf straight guys out there or what! Its like hes always on my mind.. and i will call him just to check up on him.. Not that he mind.. But i've got to get a grip! Slap me someone!

Now abt that new job of mine.. My first day of work was on the 29th. I was so bored that i actually typed in an entry.. so here it goes...

I'm now sitting in my new office/cubicle... under the blasting aircon.. feeling very sleepy and very hungry. Apprently the lecturers here or wat they call themselves as facilitators.. (wat a crap term!) are having a meeting.. right in front of my booth. So i'm just sitting in... listening, looking interested and feeling super bored... time is passing by so slowly i feel like the day is never gonna end! I can't wait to end the day and work at esplanade. At least i know i'll enjoy my work there.

So i'm supposed to be trained today but lo and behold! My trainer got sick of cholera or watever it is called.. U know eating those not well cooked seafood. Anyways I'm supposed to learn how to use the MAC and also the video cam cos part of my job is to video the facilitators at work and later digitise the footage. Sounds chim huh. Hhahhaha. And im suposed to be filming on MONDAY! ALONE! without training or anyone to guide me! Arghhh i cant swear cos im fasting!! U know its real tempting to break my fast ryte now cos i really need somethin to make me not fall asleep. I think i doze off a couple of times while the meeting was being held.. Hhahha pretend to read, turn my back ard and ZzZzzZZZZ...

Cant wait for tomorro.. Supposed to do my hair.. then chill out with a few of my gal pals then can go clubbing.. tire myself out then.. i duno wat im doing on sunday.. mayb sleep the whole day out.. or mayb go out.. walking ard like a zombie... then its Monday.. arghhhh back to my boring job... I duno how i'm gonna survive it.. OK la mayb next week its gonna be better when i start filming.. *cross fingers*

Hmm the staff are eating cake and ice cream now!! ARGHHH TORTURE!!!!! nvm nvm keep typing.. get ur mind off food...

Ok updates abt few days back... Well.. have been working and enjoying work.. apprently someone finds me beautiful! wkhakwhakwhakwkhwa sweet right! I guess hes just being nice.. Cos i've been nice to him.. see im such a nice person..

Ok apprently tts all i wrote while i was in the office.. hahha cos i was super bored i actually went down to the library to go read and listen to music. Its that bad! But then again its just my first day and my job scope is supposed to be.. well more then just sitting in a god damn cold office! Heh ok la! im feeling tired and tomorro is the start of a brand new week. Hopefully im not gonna do anything stupid with the vid and capture somethin else other then the classroom.. Hahha. Oh on the last note! I have SCV in my room! Wat a time to have SCV. when im working and dun have time for myself i have entertainment in my room (and i only have it for a month!) Shit ryte! y not last month when i'm always at home.. and i'm dying to watch MTV in my own room.. (lazy to watch in the living room la).. heh ok ok im outta here! till next month!

Love
Mun



:: 25th Oct 2004 ::


:: LATEST UPDATE ::


I have a NEW tagboard/msgboard up! So pls feel free to drop me a line, two lines... Hell i dun care if its an essay! Just drop me somethin! A kiss, a hug, an eye roll.. Watever!


::--::--::--::--::--::--::--::--::--::--::--::--::--::--::--::--::--::--::


Arloha!!! Ok Mood check = 70% Happy

So i guess its been a pretty good day.. mayb its cos I SLEPT most of the day! kekhe Ok updates.. I cut my hair AGAIN! duno if i shld post my shitty picture here.. its up in friendster though heh. So whomever has my acct and whomever reads my white diary pls feel free to drop by and check out my hair. LoL Aint that fabulous la but it looks nice.. i think!.. well to me at least. heh well i got the job at Republic Poly. Suposed to start in Nov, but they want me in this FRI and i'm like WHAT?! So soon? they say they wanna check me out.. so hmm well i dunt know wat exactly my jobscope is.. i'll have to wait till fri to know wat the hell exactly i'll doing there. *Smiles*

Have i mentioned that i dun get enuf sleep? I sleep like at 6am then i wakes up at 1pm.. then gets ready for work.. Now that im starting the other job.. i have to report work at 8.30am and its at bloody REDHILL! ARGHHHH i hate the WEST! West of S'pore that is.. and Redhill is in the west ryte?! HAHAHHAHHA im going crazy.. i give myself a week to see how i get along with the job.. More worthy updates soon.

ok lets see wat else is worth reporting.. cos i cant anyhow report report.. later some person read how.. I mean those whom im reporting abt la... then I sure die! Hahhahhaha. OK la im BORED! i duno wat else to write.. or do. Now I'm scratching my armpits cos its itchy.

Nights.



:: 16th Oct 2004 ::

Man oh man.. months have passed by without me writing in this dear white diary of mine.. I'm actually watchin exorcist 3 as i write this. Heh.. so well.. all this while.. i've cut my hair.. twice.. so now its.. short very short for my liking.. got rid of the colors too, intending to do red highlights in time for Hari Raya.. (",)

Been clubbing still.. the last was last sat at Phuture.. it was a blast! Really had a great time.. Can't believe that i actually smiled a lot.. Cos usually i dont.. *smiles* Supposed to go to CocoLatte on Wed night.. but i got super sick that i had to cancel it off last minute. My cough got real bad that i got a headache just from coughing non-stop.

Todays the first day of fasting. And im thinking.. this month theres gonna be a few kick ass clubbing session.. and im wondering whether i shld go.. hahha but hey i just go for the music.. nuthin else.. not even to look at guys!! So its ok ryte? *winks*

Writing abt guys.. i duno wats my luck with men or boys or.. well them! Either they are bisexual or the straight guys are just plain not interested.. in me.. Sigh.. ya la who am I ryte. I'm as plain as the white paper.. as ugly as the dusty old curtain hanging in my room.. (actually my curtain very colourful.. green, blue, yellowish red.. *smiles* see i look at my curtains and i'm happy!) and ppl always think of me as a good friend.. and nuthing more. I'm so sick of that.. I dunt know why im being so nice to ppl and i get treated back like shit. So u know i'm just thinkin of being.. not nice.. seriously.. no point being nice anymore.. Let them think you as a... watever they wanna call you.. I just do not care anymore. *lone tear drops*

Sad things aside.. hmm wat else has been happening... actually too many stuff that i dunno where to start. Oh ya abt my studies.. i think i decided not to go... I was accepted into two unis that's in my top 2 list.. Fees was a killer.. and looking at the condition at home.. i cant go. Mum's constantly in need of my help and my uncle is like digging his own grave and my dad has to be the one covering his grave up.. Every single time. And amgst all this, i get dragged into the situations. I feel like i'm already married.. Having to make decisions, not small ones mind you! And also havin to try to imagine how the choice will affect everyone like 2 years down the road. I dunno how my parents survive babysitting my uncle and his family.. aside from us.. Man i just hope i dun have to be the next one babysitting them!

Hmm im really feelin down while writing this.. I dunno why. I always dun have a reason for feeling how i'm feeling. This feel fucked up. I dread this coming Raya, cos i know wat ppl are gonna talk abt. Topics that i dun wanna talk abt. Marriage! I mean wat are they thinking? We are not like them! Getting married barely out of their teens geeez. I duno how im gonna respond to them if that stupid topic is brought up AGAIN. There are some other things im pissed abt.. and i dun wana talk abt it.. Make me angry even more and i think i shall stop ryte here. I'll write another essay some other time.. Promise that it will be soon.. I hope.. as long as i dun get distracted..




catch me :: if :: i fall