catch me :: if :: i fall


Thursday, November 24, 2005
:: Limbo ::


I dunno wat’s up with me and Ad now.. yest he was being so nice to me.. well the past 2 days actually.. His flirting skills are getting bolder.. asking me to hug him.. he wants to lie on my shoulder.. hmm so where are we going from there? He did ask me if I wanted to go to the zoo or the underwater world. I mean I love the underwater world.. it’s been ages since I’ve been there.. I mean its cool.. I dunno la.

I do notice he looks at me more often, and now when we stand, there’s no distance between us, the way he looks at me.. its different.. I swear.. it’s like his eyes.. are just different. He just seems delighted.. or is it just me?

He called me his princess yest. Asked me out for dinner before work.. And he’s willing to accompany me to run errands.

I’m just so confused.

The bastard called. I just duno wats in that small brain of his. He just assumes that when he calls me, I’ll just melt and do whatever he wants me to do. Arsehole. This is it.

No more.





Kissera





Friday, November 04, 2005
:: Stupid Cello ::


I don’t know what to write about these days. I just can’t seem to express myself. I dunno why I still do things that I’m not supposed to do. Am I just plain stupid? What is wrong with me.. Pls help me someone.. I really need the guidance that you can provide.. If you can.

Went out with my mums for lunch and then catch a movie titled Cello. Its supposed to be a horror movie but at the end of it, I just dun get the show.

Met him after that. He said he wanted to catch a movie but in the end he said he was too tired so we ended up eating (he did eat) and we just talked abt what had happened. He said that he waited this long to see me again cos he need to find the right time. I’m just listening to what he has got to say and kept talking abt the other girls. He said that I’m restless and edgy and that I was never like this before. He tried kissing me but I was just sitting there not moving. Even after I nag at him for lying for the gazillionth time, he just kept quiet, then smiled and talked abt something else. He said he knew that it’s his fault and that he’s sorry.


Bastard.


Thursday, November 03, 2005
:: (",) ::


Selamat Hari Raya to all.. It’s pretty sad cos I’ve got to work today. Omara Portoundo’ s concert is today. I had to come super early to make sure the set up is ok.. and everything is supposed to be where it is before the group comes.

He smsed me in the morning wishing me Selamat Hari Raya, asking me to forgive him and that he loves me.. always..



Tuesday, October 18, 2005
:: Rain rain.. ::


Hmmm its been raining lately.. so nice to sleep in..

Its past mid October and I think I’ve fasted like half a month already? Gosh time flies by so damn fast doesn’t it! In 15 or so more days its gonna be Hari Raya..

Well.. how shall I start this. Someone did said that he wanted to date me out..

He asked me what’s considered "going on a date" Gosh.. how some guys can be soooo stupid. So from there we talked and he was like sayin he wanna ask me out for a date so he said “wanna see what’s your definition, then use appropriately on u”.. Right.. how sweet ain’t it..

Heh then we went on to pick up lines.. Cos few days back.. I was swamped with men which bad pickup lines. One guy (a black dude), was asking if I was mixed so I said ya and told him wat im mixed of. So he goes..

Him : “You know what I think?”
Me : “What?”
Him : “You need a sprinkle of AFRICIAN”

Whoa.. hold ur horses… at that point I was feeling a bit uncomfortable and then his other friends came and talked to me. They are nice guys but.. I mean common.. 5 black dudes.. scares the carp out of me. Oh if you’re wondering how come I’m with 5 black dudes, they were actually actors for the Rakesh Roshan Filming crew. Yea they came by to Espl to shoot part of their movie.



Tuesday, October 11, 2005
:: Get over with it already! ::


This is it.. its finally over. Me and him. I didn’t mention abt this plan that I had did I?

Well I got to know this girl who.. well is sexually active. So isn’t it brilliant that well I asked her to seduce him and well see wat happens. So.. well yest night, I asked her abt it wat happened. She didn’t wanna say much. But after much persuasion, she did say wat happened. As usual, the news made me sick in the stomach. I dun blame her. I asked for this.

And then he called… such perfect timing. So well as always when he called, I usually smile. Tired to be extra cheery but somehow he sensed that I’m cold. He kept asking and pestering me to tell him why am I cold towards him. So I casually asked him, so how was ur outing with my friend? And he was like.. oh nothing happened. And I go on saying “Common I’m sure something happened knowing who you are.” And he got defensive.. he was like.. “why do u assume that stuff happened? I said nothing happened”. So I stayed silent and so did he. So I dropped the bomb sayin that I just spoke to her and she says otherwise. So he was like .. “ok ok a little happened.” And I said “that’s not what I heard.” So he goes on and like ok ok something happened.

Bottom line is that he lied over and over again in the conversation. Still kept saying that he likes me a lot and it’s me whom he Loved. At that time with my friend, he was just feeling horny. He was like “And saying, with you I was never horny. I never kiss their foreheads like I do to you”. Wah big freaking deal. I was just sooooo damn amused when he said that.

Here he goes saying he loved me, and there he goes showing his damn shriveled up carrot to my friend and getting fresh with her. Interesting right..

All they way during the conversation I was like smiling and laughing at what he had to say. So in the end.. what I gather is that. He had 3 gfs currently one of whom he conveniently “forgot her name” Again I told him wow u said u loved me and I’m not ur gf.. and he went bonkers. “So you’re out to get me is that it? ”.. Psychotic man.. So moving along, he said I’m the 5th girl to find out abt him and his sideline.. and wat he expect me to forgive him? Seesh! I’m sure he’ll forget abt this conversation tomorrow and he’ll be out with other girls. I’m damn sure he doesn’t even care that girls get hurt by wat he did and seriously he won’t change! 5 girls!

He was going on and on abt him being sorry that he hurt me, for being a jerk, an arse, saying he deserve it that now he’s LOST me.. very dramatic right?

Really I’m still amazed by the conversation last night. He still have the cheek to say but its ok if we go out right? He still gave me the choice to call him up if I want to.

Sigh I really do not know what the heck is wrong wit him. Is he stupid or just plain thick skinned?

WOMAD WAS… sighh.. everything was fine until some BITCH opened her damn mouth and spoil my WHOLE WOMAD experience.

*Since i post this entry like super late, i shall just forget abt the incident.*




catch me :: if :: i fall