Get your own Free Home Page1. You make up alternate words for songs.
2. You think of how songs would sound in polka style.
3. You eat Twinkie Wiener Sandwiches.
4. You made a pilgrimage to Darwin, Minnesota to see the Biggest Ball of Twine.
5. You planned a trip to Idaho, just to watch potatoes grow.
6. You have dreams about being stuck in a closet with Vanna White.
7. You love rocky road.
8. You sing "Happy Birthday" (the Al song, of course) to people on their birthdays.
9. You'd rather have a pitchfork in your brain than hear "Achy Breaky Heart" again.
10. Your brothers and sisters all hated you because you were an only child.
11. You think Siskel and Ebert should go home and sit on their thumbs.
12. You're a boob tube devotee.
13. You've given a mohawk to a cat.
14. You sold your kids for cheese.
15. You sold your house for wax lips.
16. You've actually eaten Spam.
17. You can't hear a song that Al parodied without thinking of the parody lyrics.
18. You have a pet hamster named Harvey.
19. You've taken your hamster to the beach.
20. You've built a model of the Eiffel Tower out of Belgian waffles.
21. You've made a huge color tapestry from your belly button lint.
22. You read "alt.music.weird-al"
23. You subscribe to the Midnight Star.
24. You play the accordion.
25. You play your hands.
26. You do your laundry in the dark, and use a recommended bleach.
27. Your favorite number is 27.
28. You want a new duck.
29. You've memorized the entire script of "UHF."
30. You rub Oreo filling on your roast, mix it in with your coffee, and spread it on your toast.
31. You have a Velvet Elvis.
32. You have a web page devoted to Al.
33. You've actually met Al.
34. You have a tattoo of Al.
35. You mail letters to your evil twin.
36. You think you're a clone now.
37. You have a 2000-inch TV.
38. You've spilled toxic waste on your brand-new pants.
39. You can bend paper clips into the shape of small animals.
40. You try to teach poodles how to fly.
41. You've spent an entire day staring at the Sun and trying not to squint.
42. You wear Hawaiian or tie-dye shirts regularly.
43. You've dressed up as an Amish person.
44. You compare life to a mop.
45. You sit around and stare at the picture tube 'til your brain turns into cottage cheese.
46. You've dated Siamese twins.
47. You've dated a mime.
48. You wear your dark sunglasses in the middle of the night.
49. You'll be mellow when you're dead.
50. You hire somebody to chew your food.
51. You have a satellite dish on the trunk of your car, so you can watch MTV while you drive.
52. Everything you know is wrong.
53. If there's one thing in this world that you like better than a corned beef on rye, it's chicken pot pie.
54. You have mashed potatoes for friends.
55. You stuck your head in the microwave to get a tan.
56. You have called up folks in Europe you don't even know.
57. You have worn those shoes.
58. You know nine different types of hernias.
59. You have seen Porky's 27 times in a week.
60. You have cleaned all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with your tongue.
61. You sit around the house and watch "Leave It To Beaver."
62. You have a tattoo of Kennedy.
63. Your ex-lover pulled out your chest hairs with an old pair of pliers.
64. You have been pushed down an elevator shaft.
65. You shot your dad in the dark, because you mistook him for a drug-crazed Nazi.
66. You watch talk shows about transexual Nazi Eskimoes.
67. Your ex-lover poisoned your coffee just a little each day.
68. When you flush the john, it turns the shower on.
69. You yodel in the nude.
70. You're just a no-good, scum-sucking, nose-picking, boot-licking, snivelling, grovelling, worthless hunk of slime.
71. You have a pterodactyl for a windshield wiper.
72. You might like cable shows better after your lobotomy.
73. Health food makes you sick.
74. You talk with your mouth full.
75. You bite the hand that feeds you.
76. You would rather have a Big Mac or a Jumbo Jack than all the bean sprouts in Japan.
77. You decided to become a spy, because of the great dental plan.
78. You lost on Jeopardy.
79. You use Spam for spackle or bathroom grout.
80. You did a figure eight in the middle of the Interstate.
81. You don't know whether you should study neurosurgery or go to see the Care Bears Movie.
82. You have your very own Scotch tape dispenser and a private parking space.
83. Those darn Russian spies won't leave you alone.
84. The ghost of Elvis lives in your den.
85. You shop at Spatula City.
86. You haven't even touched your tuna casserole.
87. You ate so many Oreos that your pancreas went into shock.
88. You do eighty in second gear.
89. You've actually taken the time to read this entire Al Fandom Test.
If you have any comments, or want to contribute any more entries, please e-mail me.
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