Get your own Free Home PageWARNING -- a number of new computer viruses have recently been discovered and they are NOT detected by any current virus detection software! All computer users should be on the lookout for the following:
Tin Woodman Virus: Causes each part of your computer to fail and need to be replaced -- one piece at a time -- until your computer is composed entirely of new parts. After this has happened you may find you need a new user-friendly interface.
Jinjur Virus: Prints a message saying that program files have been running the system for too long, and then it takes over the system and puts itself and the data files in charge.
Tippetarius Trojan: If run, this Trojan will install the Ozma Virus on your system.
Ozma Virus: Zaps any files having to do with finance. Also, it zaps any programs containing the word "magic", except for those on a list contained within the virus. Note that no files are actually deleted, the virus merely clears their contents.
Ruggedo Virus: Is very persistent in trying to take over your system. If it succeeds, it turns your program files into ornamental graphics files. Placing an egg on your computer will protect it from this virus.
Mangaboo Virus: Causes your computer to enter a vegetative state.
Piglet Virus: Can appear and disappear as if by magic. (It's actually just clever programming, though.)
Dama Virus: Sets the hidden attribute on your files.
Gargoyle Virus: Interferes with any program that tries to use the speaker or sound card.
Button-Bright Virus: Causes all information searches to return "Don't Know".
Polychrome Virus: Causes every color imaginable to dance across your monitor.
Dox Virus: If you correctly respond to several questions, then this virus rewards you by transforming your head into that of a fox.
Kik-A-Bray Virus: If you type several big words into your word processor, this virus transforms your head into that of a donkey.
Scoodlers Virus: Grinds up all your data and combines it into a single file named "SOUP".
Flutterbudget Virus: This virus will cause you many needless worries.
Fuddlecumjig Virus: Scatters your data files all across your hard disk, so that you have to piece them together again.
Rigmarole Virus: Causes the output of your computer to become extremely verbose, but without giving any useful information.
Unc Nunkie Virus: Causes the output of your computer to become extremely terse.
Glass Cat Virus: Causes the integrated circuits in your computer to turn pink and tumble around whenever you run a program.
Six-leaf Clover Virus: This virus is illegal. You can be arrested if your system picks it up.
Ann Soforth Virus: Seems to be trying to take over all the computers in the world. It hasn't actually succeeded in taking over any of them yet, though.
Pessim Virus: This virus is thought to actually be a diagnostic program run amuck. I causes your computer to endlessly list things that it thinks are wrong with it.
Blinkie Virus: Causes your user-friendly interface to freeze up.
Mrs. Yoop Virus: Transforms your files so that they will be unrecognizable. It claims the changes are permanent, but in fact a skilled expert can restore them.
Kiki Aru Virus: Has been known to transform program files into data files, and data files into program files.
Purple Spider Virus: This Web virus attempts to coerce you into cleaning the dust out of your computer and off your monitor.
Coo-ee-oh Virus: Causes your data to become inaccessible until you guess the magic word. Fortunately, the magic word is one of the syllables in the name of the virus.
Lurline Virus: Prevents any file from being deleted or growing in size.
Later, I added these:
Forbidden Fountain Virus: Erases your computer's memory. Also temporarily stops the Nome King Virus.
Silence Stone Virus: Your computer cannot display text or play sound files for seven years, unless the Sure Cure For Everything Anti-Virus Program is used.
Pokes Virus: Your computer runs at a much slower speed, unless a music file is being played.
Chopfyt Virus: Creates new computers from the parts cast off by the Tin Woodman Virus and the similar Tin Soldier Virus.
Private Files Virus: Quite willing to attack your system, unless ordered to infect a female file.
Glegg Virus: Causes an explosion, followed by a message that your hard drive will disappear. The Proper Princess Anti-Virus Program will stop this from happening.
Percy Vere Virus: Silly verses, with the last word left out, will appear on your screen at random intervals.
Memo Virus: Infects files in an orderly manner.
Randum Virus: Infects files totally at random.
Spots Virus: Causes odd patterns of spots to appear on the screen, and constantly change.
Red Rogue Virus: It is a gigantic program, but is extremely weak.
Dragonette Virus: Causes your computer to brag about its pedigree, which goes all the way back to ENIAC.
Turn-Style Virus: Screen savers, icon arrangements, and various other stylistic matters will be altered.
Boglodore Virus: Puts a program file in a remote location in memory, but causes a hippopotamus to protect it.
Kaliko Virus: Causes a lot of trouble until a stronger virus (especially the Ozma Virus) interferes.
Sir Hokus Virus: Makes all text appear in archaic English, and contain references to fighting dragons and rescuing maidens.
Un Virus: Whenever you do something "unish" on your computer, the machine grows a feather.
Psychopompus Program (not a virus): Upgrades half of your system.
This next part was written by Jeremy Steadman.
Okay, after weeks of putting up with my humor (or lack thereof) in other ways, here's my contribution to our virus parody collection (I hope nobody's done this one already, and I missed it):
PRINCESS LANGWIDERE VIRUS: Makes the computer send data to a hundred monitors (only one of which is the real one); since the computer can't find more than one, the data gets caught in a circuit, leaving the computer good for nothing at all. (The person who accidentally created this virus was trying to get a head of his classmates in Professor Wogglebug's computer programming class, with some interesting results.)
DEADLY DESERT VIRUS: It's very unwise to touch the keyboard while this virus is in control of your computer, as you might find yourself suddenly a bit more flexible than you remember being last time you checked . . .
That's all for now (as if that wasn't enough already),
By the way, there actually is a virus called Quox, who was a dragon in Tik-Tok of Oz. The description in F-Prot doesn't make it sound especially Ozzy, though.
If you have any additions to this list, please notify me.
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