Piano lessons just make my day. School was pretty horrible today. I feel very isolated there. I'll have some thought that I want to talk about and I never can. There's always someone who's too eager not to listen and someone who'd rather talk about stuff that's just too common. I feel very disappointed with myself because I get discouraged so easily. I want to be able to be my own happy self the whole day. I don't know why I always let things get to me. I just wish I could feel that smile in me all day, and not get upset with people and not get disillusioned. I'm working on it though.

So after school was good though. I'm listening to a really upbeat cd in my car right now, Ani Difranco's Revelling. If you passed me driving on the road you'd see me bopping around in my car singing and looking goofy I'm sure but I'm also looking something else-- happy. So I had a good afternoon. I went running, it was a short one but the air felt familiar. I ever so slightly sensed spring there. But it just doesn't want to come out to play yet. I don't mind the rain. Rain is kind of hopeful, it just drops at any given time and plus it washes all the dirt off my car.

Are you ever driving and it's dark out and you see something scamper across the road, and think oh no! an animal or something! and then you smile, because it was just a leaf on the run? That happens to me all the time. I guess I over-react a lot. Hmm, I just wish that I could be peaceful for an enitre day. A peaceful day would be something as simple as going for a walk, maybe playing my guitar on a park bench (but no one can be around because I'm really not that good yet), and reading a good book at a library. There would also have to be the kind of sky that has layers and layers of clouds during the day, a nice clean breeze, and a purple sunset. A full moon and a night sky filled with stars would be a great bonus too. I should get to bed now. Maybe tonight I'll have a peaceful dream instead.