Here and Now
__________
1
AJ laid in yet another hotel staring up at the ceiling. He had to see Caroline. But the question was could he? It’d been years. That was way too long for them to be separated. The communication between the two had dwindled away until it became non-existent. He couldn’t say why. It just had some point while Backstreet was becoming one of the biggest names in the music business.
“What?” He answered in response to the knock at the door that brought him out of his thoughts.
Howie poked his head in. “Some of us are going to out. You coming?”
“Nah, don’t really feel like it.” AJ looked at Howie, who’d been his confidant for about the past 8 years that they had known each other. “D, can I talk to you for a moment?”
Howie noticed AJ was upset by something. “You go on. I’m not going
either.” He told the others in the hall. “What’s up, bone?” He stepped
into the room.
AJ sighed. “I don’t know, man, it just kinda hit me when I saw first
Brian then Kevin getting married. I want that, someone to spend the rest of my
like with.
“This need is getting to me. To establish myself in the world, you know
what I mean, leave my mark. I know I did already as AJ the Backstreet but even
with all that, I want something more out of life. I know that sounds selfish, I
mean who could want more than being a super pop star known around the world,
having sold more than a couple billion records and, well, you
know. I want happiness that kind you find waking up beside you in bed every day,
you know what I mean?”
“Yeah man I do. We all get that feeling.”
“I don’t know what to do about it.”
Howie studied his friend. “You’re thinking about Caroline.” He said
matter-of-factly.
“Yeah,” AJ sighed. Howie was the only one among the boys that knew
about Caroline. “For the past weeks I’ve been talking myself in and out of
seeing her. All these reasons why and why not. It’s driving me crazy.”
“Well, what are the why nots?”
“ It’s been too long, she doesn’t feel the same way anymore,
basically bullshit reasons.”
“And the whys?”
“Just one. The biggest one of them all.”
Howie nodded like a doctor just confirming his prognosis. “You’re
still in love with your wife.”
Back to listing
__________
AJ
and Caroline were best friends in love right up to AJ’s departure for Europe.
For three years, it seemed as if their relationship would stay the same while
Backstreet made it big in Europe. In ’96 when Backstreet came back to the US,
AJ proposed to Caroline. They thought their relationship was strong enough
without wasting more time. It was a secret wedding at the Justice of the Peace
in LA. Both their parents agreed that they were young and foolish so it had to
be done that way. Soon afterwards, he left again. AJ wasn’t good at keeping
secrets but he never told anyone about her. Not about the marriage anyway. They
all knew AJ had a girl back home but no knew how deep his feelings were. No one
but Howie that is. Backstreet became a huge sensation around the world while
their marriage dissolved into puddles. They almost vanished from each other’s
thoughts, each going on with their own lives. Until certain points, they’d
realized they were still married. It gave them cause to stop and think about
their lives now, so different from the day they said ‘I do’.
Caroline trudged home after work Wednesday. She hated the midweek
doldrums. She sighed as she entered Dane’s apartment. They had all but moved
in together. Caroline still kept her apartment on the other side of Orlando and
went there mostly for a change of clothes. They were becoming close, her, and
Dane. He often talked of a future together. Caroline had to admit she liked the
idea but AJ always came into the picture about that time.
So, she told Dane they were going too fast and that she wanted to slow
things down. She could only imagine the betrayal he would feel if he found out.
She held off filing for divorce. She didn’t know why but something really
couldn’t let AJ go. And a divorce
to a single Backstreet Boy might bring unnecessary scandal to the group.
“I’m home.” She kissed Dane.
“You look tired. I made some tea. I thought you might need it. Looks
like I was right.”
Caroline smiled. Dane was always doing sweet things like that.
“What if we go out tonight? Somewhere nice.”
“Okay. I’ll have to go home.”
“Go home? Why?”
“I don’t have anything nice to wear here. I’ll have to go get a
dress.”
“It’d be easier if you just moved in here.”
“Not right now. Moving in is a big step. I told you we don’t need to
move so fast.”
Emotions flicker across his face. She felt bad about hiding the real
reason from him.
She
smiled and touched his hand. “Where are we going tonight? How about
Charlie’s?”
Caroline
had quelled her thoughts about what to tell Dane so that she relaxed for the
rest of the week. Friday night they saw another movie at the megaplex. This was
their second week but it had become a ritual between them.
When they entered the apartment she pushed him against the wall, catching
him off guard, and kissed him. She undressed him as she made her way to the
bedroom, bringing him with her.
Caroline
laid on Dane’s chest and listened to his steady heartbeat as he slept. It
wasn’t exactly what she envisioned for their first time. She pictured life
with Dane. After she got a divorce, of course.
Life would be perfect. He’d go to work while she tended the garden.
Dane, being a teacher, was great with kids. They’d have a nice two-story
house, 2.5 kids, and white picket fence . . .
Wait a minute. Who the hell was she kidding? She was a kick ass lawyer
that loved the city. Could she survive the suburbs? Life with Dane would be . .
. boring. That’s not at all what she wanted. She wanted to get settled in her
own firm before having kids. And her husband wouldn’t some be office stiff in
a three-piece suit every damn day. She needed excitement and passion. Something
Dane seriously lacked both in bed and in every day life. That was why she
married AJ. He was the one that burned in her soul. She’d convinced herself
she was happy, with Dane. Dane was safe. No room for hurt. He would never pack
up and leave her for fame and fortune in a boy band.
But if she were honest, he would never be the right one for her either.
“We’re
off in two weeks. You should go see her then.” Howie suggested to AJ.
“But, D, what if-”
“Go see her. She might feel the same way you do. You won’t know until
you talk to her.”
“I guess you’re right. Two weeks.”
Back to listing
__________
Caroline spent the next two weeks ignoring Dane. She didn’t return his
messages at work or answer when he called her at her apartment.
That night after she realized the truth, she flied the apartment leaving
him asleep in bed. He was a sweet and caring man whose heart she probably just
broke. She ignored him because she
felt guilty about why she left. Somehow, she couldn’t tell him in person all
her reasons. She tried to keep busy
at work and often worked overtime.
During those weeks, AJ found more ‘bullshit reasons’. Howie found
him deep in thought and knew the cause. He’d given his advice. It’d been
taken into consideration and now all he could do was sit back and let AJ handle
his own life.
AJ took off his shades as he entered the building. He unlocked the door
using keys Caroline’d given him years ago and entered. He’d knocked earlier
but gotten no answer. No one home. He walked around the place. The living room
contained a red velvet couch. AJ smiled, very Carrie. He walked around some. It
was a small apartment. Standard kitchen, an oak dinette set. In the bedroom,
there was a fireplace before the bed. No matter that Florida had temperatures of
almost 100, she’d always said she would have a fireplace in her bedroom. Said
it was romantic to make love in front of the fire. AJ always laughed at the
romantic expression. He moved back to the living room to sit on the couch to
wait for her to come home. AJ looked at his watch. 6:55 He began to think that
maybe she was not coming. If he left now she would never know he was here. But
that’d be chickening out. So, he made himself comfortable on the couch. He
looked over and noticed the light blinked on her answer machine. AJ thought of
checking her messages to see what kind of life she led now, friends and whatnot.
Probably just people who want money anyway.
Caroline
came home from another tiring day of working overtime. She kicked off her heels
and threw her purse and briefcase absentmindedly on the couch. She went into the
kitchen for something to eat. She was starving.
AJ
woke up when he felt something hit him in the head. He must have fallen asleep
while waiting for Carrie to come home. He sat up and was welcomed by the view of
Caroline’s butt as she searched the refrigerator. He body moved to some
unknown to song. AJ smiled.
“Carrie.”
She
spun around. At first, her eyes were large with fright then she looked at him
closer. “AJ? What the hell are you doing here?”
AJ
laughed. “That’s a nice way to welcome your husband home.”
“Excuse
me. Would you like your pipe, slippers, and newspaper now or after dinner?”
She crossed her arms. “Why are you here?”
AJ
saw the seriousness of the situation. “Don’t you think we need to talk?”
“About
what?” Caroline felt nervous around the husband she hadn’t seen in five
years.
“We
are married. Did you forget?” He
stepped into the kitchen.
“How
could I?” She moved away from him. She could smell the scent of him. She
feigned attention in the cabinets on the other side of the kitchen.
She pulled out some Shredded Wheat Mini’s and began munching on them.
“You
still like those things?”
“Yeah.”
“I
never could see how you ate them with or without milk.”
“Well,
I did-I mean do-why are you here again?” She went into the living room with AJ
following. “If you wanted a divorce you could’ve had the papers served to
me.”
AJ
stopped short. “You think that’s why I’m here? Do you want a divorce?”
Caroline
sat on the couch. “We’ve been non-existent in each other’s lives for five
years. Why else would you be here?”” AJ started to tell her that she existed
very much in his heart if not his life.
AJ
sat down beside her. Caroline moved to another chair. She felt he was moving too
close back in her life, physically and emotionally.
“Why
do you keep moving away? Are you nervous? Do I make you nervous? It’s only
me.”
“I
know it’s only you. Only AJ, my estranged husband come home.”
Back to listing
__________
“That’s why I’m here. To change that whole estranged husband
part.”
“What? The estranged husband bit doesn’t go well with your Backstreet
image? That’s your fault not mine.”
“How?”
“You’re the one who went off the Europe seeking fame and fortune.”
“What about the fact that you
closed the lines of communication.”
“Why shouldn’t I have? You were always off somewhere, up some
girl’s skirt.”
“That’s not fair, Carrie. I was faithful right up to the point. . .”
“What point Alex? Tell me. When you stepped off the plane, or maybe,
just maybe, you waited until you got to the hotel.”
“I was faithful to the point where I thought you didn’t want me
anymore. When all the calls and letters stopped. When I’d think of how much I
wanted to hold you in my arms but you didn’t seem to care. That’s when I
stopped thinking of things between us. That’s when I tried to tell my heart to
stop loving you. But you know what, Carrie? It didn’t work.”
“It didn’t?” Caroline was on the verge of tears at his confession.
“No, it didn’t.” AJ smiled. “I love you. That’s why I’m
here.”
Those words were her undoing. Tears poured down her cheeks. AJ moved to
put his arms around her.
They sat that way for awhile. AJ pulled back and looked at her. “Are
you hungry? Did you eat before you came home?”
Caroline, unable to speak, shook her head.
“I’m going to take that to mean no you didn’t eat before.” He
stood up. “I can fix that.”
Caroline wiped away the last of her tears that started to dry on her
cheeks. “I don’t think I have much to make a meal.”
“You never were much of a cook were you?” AJ smiled. “That’s
okay. You sit there and I’ll fix us something.”
Caroline watched AJ find his way around her kitchen. It was quite
comical, him in an apron opening and closing the cabinets searching for what he
couldn’t find.
“The spices are-”
“No don’t tell me. You relax. I’m the one cooking.”
“Yeah, but its my kitchen.”
“I can handle it.”
“You’re making a mess.”
He faced her. “Listen woman,” He sniffed the air. “Do you smell
something burning?”
Caroline pointed to the stove where the contents of the pan were smoking.
AJ turned around. “Oh shit!” Caroline watched him try to remove the pan from
the burner without getting burned by touching the hot handle. After moments of
this display she walked over turned off the stove, put on the cooking mittens
and removed the pan. She turned to AJ.
“What say we order out? Pizza sound good?” He smiled sheepishly at
her.
“You never were much of a cook were you?”
“That’s a yes, if neither of us can cook.”
Caroline shook her head and smiled as she went in search of the number
for the pizza place down the street. Just like the old Alex, she thought.
When the pizza came, they ate it in companionable silence. “So where
are you staying tonight?” Caroline asked when they’d finished.
“Hadn’t thought that far ahead. I was worried about how things would
go between you and me first.”
“Well, I’m going to bed.” She stood. “You coming?”
“You sure?”
“You are my husband after all, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right I am.” He stood. “And I’ve been neglecting
my husbandly duties.”
Caroline glanced back at him. “Tonight you sleep. Either with me on my
cotton sheets or by yourself on that velvet couch. But nothing else, not
tonight.”
He pouted. “Does that mean no foreplay? None of that freaky stuff? Not
even a little?”
Back to listing
__________
Caroline
woke up to the smell of bacon, eggs, and toast. She walked into the kitchen.
“Good
morning.” AJ called standing over the stove in his boxers.
“Yeah
whatever.” She sat down on a barstool and laid her head on her arms on
the counter.
“Aren’t
we just a burst of sunshine? Oh wait I forgot your morning persona and all of
its cheerful qualities.”
“I
don’t exactly remember you being Mr. Morning-friendly either. And why are you
in my kitchen again after last night? Please tell me you don’t intend to cause
another fire.”
“I
thought I’d make up for last night by not
burning something. Try some of these eggs.”
He
held his hand under the fork as he held it out to her. At the last minute he
replaced the fork with his lips and kissed her.
Caroline pulled back stunned. “AJ-”
“I
just wanted to thank you. When I came here, I thought you might throw me out on
my ear. You had every right. But you didn’t. So thanks.”
“You
kissed me as a way of thank you?”
“That
and I wanted a kiss.” He grinned at her. “Eggs” He shoved the fork in her
mouth before she could say anything.
She
glared at him as she chewed it up. “Not bad. I don’t remember your cooking
being this good.”
“I’ve
learned a lot in the past five years.”
Caroline
picked the food on the plate AJ’d fixed for her. “AJ, about our . . .
um..”
“Our
situation?”
“Yeah
situation. That’s a good word for it. Um. .”
“Listen,
Carrie. I know I’ve been gone for far too long but I came to try to work this
out. It seemed to me last night was start.”
“Last
night was me getting really emotional and not thinking beyond one moment to the
next. I remembered the way things were and it was good to actually have you here
with me again. But now this morning brings questions like what’s going to
happen down the road? Will history repeat itself when you go back on tour? Or
what if this feeling is just us playing the happy new couple. What if it wears
off? Can you answer that?”
“I
can’t give you definite answers, but I can tell you that I will try my damnest
to keep this marriage together like it should’ve been from the start. I
didn’t ask you to marry me so that I could leave you I asked you so that we
could spend forever together. All I’m asking for is a chance to go back to
plan A. Could we try please?”
“I
don’t know AJ. It’s going to be hard.” Caroline sighed. “I guess maybe
we could. But-” She held up her hand when he open his mouth to speak. “But
we have to take it slow. Start off as friends again. We can’t just pick up
where we left off years ago.”
AJ
nodded. “I understand.”
They
went back to eating.
“Do
you go to work today?” AJ asked her.
“This
lawyer doesn’t work on Saturdays.”
“I
forgot. Now that touring is over I’m kinda off.”
They
finished eating.
“I’m
going to take a shower.” AJ headed for the bathroom.
“Okay.”
A thought came to Caroline. “You have no clothes other than the ones you had
yesterday. What are you going to wear?”
“I
guess I’ll have to wear some of yours.”
“Drag
will be a new look for you.”
“It’ll
surprise the hell out of the guys.”
“I’m
sure they could see it coming. Give me your clothes and I’ll wash them while
you’re in the bathroom.”
“Thanks Carrie.” He kissed her on the cheek as he handed them to her. Caroline set the washing machine and threw in some of her clothes with his. Then she started washing the dishes. It felt kinda nice with him here again. She smiled as she rinsed his plate. AJ was home.
AJ
came out as she was drying the last dish. He wrapped his arms around her from
behind.
“Hmm,
you smell good.”
“I
didn’t before?”
“You
just smell better now.” She turned in his arms. “AJ you’re naked!”
“Yeah,
so? Don’t be shy Carrie, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”
She
turned back around. “I thought we were going to start out as friends.”
“Oh
yeah.” He looked at her. “My clothes are still washing. What else did you
think I had on?”
“I
don’t know. A towel or something. I just didn’t except you to be butt
naked.”
“You
like me butt naked. Remember?” He moved behind her again.
“AJ!”
“OK,
Ok I’m going.” He laughed as he went back into the bathroom.
Caroline
found it hard to breathe. “God, that boy has turned into a man.”
When
AJ came out this time in a towel, Caroline was putting the clothes in the dryer
He
grabbed a pair her of her lacy underwear. “You wear this?”
She
blushed “Sometimes.”
“Ooh
not little Miss sweet and innocent anymore are you?”
“Not
after you. No one could be.”
“Glad
I have a lasting effect on you.”
“I
bet you have a lasting effect on all the girls you meet.” She started the
dryer.
“Yeah
but none of them married me because of it.”
“Thousands
of them would kill to be married to you.”
“And
are you complaining?” He moved closer, almost inches from her face.
“Not
at all.” She leaned into him.
They
pressed their bodies against each other. They
tasted and remembered how it felt. Although neither voiced it, last night lying
together in bed was only teasing them into what they had in the past.
They longed to experience it again and took the opportunity now.
Caroline
pulled AJ’s towel. “I never liked that towel.”
“But
what about being friends?”
“Screw
friendship.”
“That
I can do.”
Caroline
giggled. Behind them, the dryer shook bumping them up and down.
AJ
pulled back and looked at her. Caroline opened her eyes. “What?”
He
sighed. “Carrie we can’t do this. I meant what I said about making this work
this time. We have to do that by starting out as friends. You were the one that
said that.”
He
retrieved his half-dry jeans and shirt from the dryer and put them on.
Caroline
stared at him as walked away from her. “Now you’re stopping? Before you
couldn’t wait to get up my skirt or any other girl’s for that matter.”
“I’ve
changed.”
“Yeah
well maybe that’s the problem.” He stopped and turned to look at her.
“We’ve both changed too much.”
“What
are you saying? Because I won’t have sex with you, you don’t think our
marriage is worth trying?”
“How
much is our marriage really worth? Huh, AJ? Not much. Some guy in a dirty office
declared us ‘man and wife’ five years ago and had us sign some papers. So,
we’re supposed to have a marriage? This is a fiasco.”
“Sex
wasn’t going to solve anything.”
“I
was feeling damn good at the time. And so were you.”
“We
can’t have a marriage based on a roll in the hay because the moment felt
good.”
“We
don’t. Ours is based on past rolls in the hay, remember? It was teenage
hormones.”
AJ
sat on the couch. He sighed as he placed his head in his hands. “It was more
than that.”
“But
it’s still based on nothing more than past memories. We only remember the way
things were. We can’t do that anymore. We have to live in the here and now.”
“Fine.”
AJ stood. “How about I’m leaving here
and now. Is that good enough for you?”
Caroline
sat slumped on the couch. She’d taken up AJ’s spot after he left. She
laughed bitterly. They’d just had their first fight as a married couple.
AJ
was mad she could tell. He’d be like this and come back after he’d cooled
off some. But that was the old AJ. Not the one now, five years later. She felt
like crying. She really wanted this to work. But was she really trying because
of how she saw him in the past? How much did she really know about this AJ, the
one that walked back into her life only yesterday? He’d changed so much.
How were they to have a relationship with a five-year gap? It always came
back to that. Those five years of no communication. Even if they were to make up
and stay married it would never be as it would’ve been had they still been
friends.
On
their wedding day, they were turning from best friends to husband and wife.
There was love, wonderment, and anticipation at what every one would think once
they found out. It was due in part also to teenage nature going against their
parents’ wishes.
At
first, Caroline wanted to tell everyone. Their parents would be furious, so
would AJ’s management and record label; they wanted single pop stars not
married ones. They decided they’d kept quiet for a while, until they declared
the time right to do so. That time had never come. And it might never still. Why
couldn’t life be simple? Live out your hopes and dreams and marry the person
you love in the process. But it never was that simple was it? AJ would ask
‘where’s the excitement in that’. One should work hard for what one
wanted. The question here was whether the hard work would yield the rights
results. If they had fights every
day that led to AJ walking out, they would never work things out.
She
was never the optimistic. AJ always joked on her about it.
She
sighed as she headed for the shower. Some things weren’t meant to be.
AJ
walk around some thinking. Maybe she was right. Here and now.
These
clothes were getting uncomfortable while drying while on him.
Gotta
think about tonight. Where is he going to stay? Probably won’t be her place.
Last
night felt good to hold his wife in bed. At one point, while he was lying there
watching her sleep she rolled over into his arms. He held her close. He didn’t
want to lose the moment. Never lose the memory. She snuggled closer to him and
he smelled the scent of her in. God, this felt so good.
He
wanted her now. Here and now. Couldn’t she see that? Maybe he was right to
start with. She didn’t feel the same way. But he saw something there in her
eyes. More then past memories. A
lot more. To stay away from the past they’d have to create their own. Caroline
was right. They should start out as friends again.
That kiss was particularly any help. AJ wanted her but he had to wait. He
hadn’t waited all those years ago and that caused them to be in the situation
now. What if he had waited maybe a few more years? Would they still be talking
marriage now or would they draw apart from each other with nothing to pull them
back?
AJ
sat on a bench. Jesus Christ, this was what he’d been asking himself every
day. It didn’t get him anywhere then and it won’t help now.
He sighed as he leaned back. That
was why he was here in the first place to solve all those questions not sit on a
bench. Get your ass up McLean and stop
bitching. Go back up there and get your wife!
First,
he needed to make a call.
AJ
left his cell phone at Carrie’s and not about to go back and get it. Not right
away at least. Call management from phone booth to have his clothes packed
and brought to Carrie’s. No more naked towel incidents.
He
was going back to Carrie and work this out before another five years went by.
She would be upset with him for walking out like that, he knew. This always
happened in the past. They’d fight and make up.
This one was crucial to their relationship because it determined their
future. If they stayed mad, you could say things were over before they got
started. But they kept bringing up the past. How could they not unless they
remembered it for the good times and build from it? The feelings from the past
were still there, but the question was: was it enough to make a future.
He was going to try. He made a mental checklist of all the things he’d need. He, Mr. Romantic had wooed girls the world over. Now he had to convince the most important one in his life, his wife.
Back to listing
__________
After
her shower, Caroline sat on the couch channel surfing. Her mind wasn’t on the
TV, but AJ. She was still waiting for his eminent return.
She was beginning to think that maybe he wasn’t coming back when
doorbell rang causing her to jump. She opened the door ready to pour out
apologizes and beg for forgiveness.
“Package
for a mister Alexander McLean.” An
UPS delivery guy stood there with boxes.
Caroline
quickly closed shut her planned words. “He’s not here. I’m his wife, I
guess I’ll take it.”
“Sign
here please ma’am. And here. Thank you.”
AJ
strolled into the apartment. “Oh good, my clothes are here.”
“That’s
your clothes?”
“Yeah
I had them sent here.”
“Why?”
“Because
I’m going to need something to wear.”
“I
thought- you were so mad when you left- that I thought that maybe-you.”
“Nope,
can’t get rid of me that fast. I’m here to stay. Forever.”
“You
never cease to amaze me. You stomp out of here like a bat out of hell then you
return hours later to say that you’re here to stay?”
“Yeah?
And?” He gave her a devilish grin.
“You
are so.. So fickle.”
“Fickle?
Brian said that same thing about me once.”
“Well
it’s probably as true then as it is now.”
“Probably.”
He shrugged. “So, what are we doing today? It’s a beautiful day outside. We
should do something like a picnic in the park.”
“A
picnic in the park? Since when do you enjoy the great outdoors?”
“I
don’t really but if you’re up for it I’m willing to go along.”
“Willing
to sit on a blanket in the grass and dirt? In the outdoors amid birds and bugs
and creatures that sting and bite?”
“Hey,
I said if you were up for it.”
“Sorry
to disappoint you but you seemed to have forgotten I’m not a nature person
either.”
“Good.
So what are we doing today?”
“AJ.”
Her voice turned serious. “Do you expect to find me agreeable every time you
come back? Whether it’s for five years or five hours?”
AJ
sighed. He should have known she wouldn’t let him come back this easy.
“I’m sorry I blew up this morning. It’s just that I want this to work. I
want us to do this right this time, not rush into it like we did before.”
“By
rushing into it do you mean the fact that we undressed each other every chance
we got.”
“And
you know where that almost led.”
A
thought came to Caroline. “Is that why you asked me to marry you? Because you
thought I was pregnant?”
“No.
I told you why.”
Caroline
noticed his hesitation. “Honestly is that it? I have to know.”
“I
knew you weren’t. You would have come to me about it first.”
“I’m
not sure. I freaked that one time when I skipped a period and it was nothing.”
“But
you still would tell me when you were positive.”
“Yeah.”
They looked at each other. “That still brings us back to my earlier
question.”
“I
know you won’t be agreeable every time and I shouldn’t expect you to be. But
I know that you want this to work as badly as I do.”
“I
never expected our marriage to come to this point where we’d have to work so
hard.”
Back to listing
__________
Caroline
pulled a strawberry yogurt out of the fridge and a spoon from the drawer. She
laid next to AJ on the couch who seemed deep on thought. Because they were both
too lazy to go anywhere, they decided to stay in.
“What
are you thinking?” She asked him.
“Hmm?
Oh thinking about how I’m going to tell management about you.”
“Oh.
How do you think they’re going to take it.”
“I’m
not sure. They’ll be upset at first, of course, but they’ll get over it.”
“And
what about the rest of the guys? How will they react?”
“Confused
at first why I didn’t tell them, then they’ll be happy for us. Howie already
knows. I told him from the start.”
“Howie?
I remember him from before.”
“That’s
one of the reasons I told him. He knew you when we were dating back in the
day.”
“That
seems so long ago doesn’t it?”
“Yeah,
back in the day.” He opened his mouth for some yogurt. Caroline spooned some
in.
“I’m
surprised the media hasn’t dug anything about us up yet.”
“I
would have expected them to by now.”
“I
don’t think they knew to look in the LA county records.”
They
sat thinking for a moment.
“We’ll
have to tell our parents
“When
do you go back to work?” Caroline asked.
“In
about one week.”
“That’s
all?”
“Yep,
sorry babe.”
“It’s
going to be hard trying to maintaining a relationship with you gone.”
“We
have to keep it up and not let go like before.”
“I
don’t see how people have relationships while on the road and stuff.”
“Don’t
worry. If Kevin and Brian can do it so can we.”
“What
about the fans? I heard they didn’t react so well to Kristin and Leighanne.”
“They’ll
have to handle it. I’ll have to have a press conference to announce you. They
should be used to married Backstreet Boys by now. We’ll have to tell our
parents. My mom will be excited you liked you.”
“That
have been before she knew I was the next Mrs. McLean.”
“Nah,
she’ll be cool about the whole thing. What about your parents? Your dad never
like me.”
“They
divorced about two years ago.”
“I’m
sorry.” He kissed her temple.
“It’s
okay. At least know you don’t have to worry about my dad. We lost contact.
He’s somewhere in Montana last I heard.”
“So
tell me about your life now.”
“Well,
what do you want to know?”
“About
your friends. How’s work?”
“Things
at work are good. Rumor around the place is that I might make partner, but I’m
not sure.”
“Not
sure of what?” Caroline fed him more yogurt.
“It’d
be great to make partner but I want to start my own firm.”
“What
if you stayed there for awhile before breaking off on your own.”
“I
thought of that. With Wolfram and Hart becoming a partner is a lifetime
commitment.”
“I
think you should go with your own firm, now while you’re at the top of your
game.”
“Really?
You think so?”
“Didn’t
I just say so? Besides it’s always been your dream to have your own firm. You
shouldn’t give up on that.”
“You
remembered that?”
“Yeah.
You didn’t talk of much else you wanted to do in life.”
“All
I remember you talking about is singing and dancing. And that’s what you did.
The Backstreet Boys. You’ve done well for yourself.”
“The
life of a world famous pop star ain’t bad. I rather like where I am now.”
“You mean jet setting around the world, meeting countless celebrities,
having thousands of girls scream for you when you take your shirt off and even
some faint at the sound of your voice? Or being part of a five-part hottie
group?”
“No, I meant sitting here relaxing, having my wife spoon feed me yogurt
on a Saturday afternoon. But what were you saying about the five-part hottie
group? You think I’m hot?”
“Don’t let it go to your head. I knew you when you were a dork before
Backstreet.”
Back to listing
__________
__________
10
“So,
AJ you’ve been there for a week and this is the first time I’ve heard from
you. Is that good or bad?”
“In
this case it’s good. Sorry, Howie, I’ve been too busy getting my marriage
back on track to talk much.”
“And
are you’re efforts paying off?”
“Things
are great but not where I want them to be. At least we’re sleeping in the same
bed. That’s more than I can say for some marriages.”
“These
things take time. You’re getting there.”
“Yeah,
man I know. I’m really trying not to rush it, but sometimes, at night....”
“You
have to keep in mind your objective. So where’s Carrie?”
“At
work right now. I have plans for going out later tonight.”
“Oh
really? Where?”
“No
where special. Just dinner and a movie.”
“A
date. Well that’s a good. You’re going out together as a married couple.”
“Yeah
I guess.”
“Use
the time you have wisely. We start the promo tour next week. Hold on a sec.
Yeah, yeah, okay. Sorry, ‘J I have some things to take care of here in the
office.”
“If
you see me before next week, the outcome of this whole thing went wrong and
I’ll have a divorce lawyer by then.”
“It
won’t come to that. Keep me updated.”
“Hopefully
not. Later.”
“Bye.”
AJ
waited for Caroline to come home. He wasn’t sure how tonight was going to go.
Caroline had warmed up to him some but there was still a chill to their
relationship. He was worried that he’d leave for Backstreet again before they
had time to work out everything. This was their first night together and while
it was just dinner and a movie, he desperately wanted things to go good.
When
she did come home, he hurried to take her things. “Go take a shower. We’re
going out tonight.” He pushed her towards the bathroom.
“Out
tonight? I have a huge case in court Monday I need to prepare for.”
“It’s
Friday, the weekend. You’ve been working all week. You didn’t think I’d
watch you work some more did you?”
“But-”
“If
the case is Monday you can prepare Sunday. Listen to logic. Go.”
“Fine.”
She said as he gave her a final shove.
While
she was in the shower AJ changed into black jeans and white T-shirt with black
Tims. She stood in a robe in the doorway to the bedroom. “And I suppose
you’re going to tell me what to wear also.”
“I’ll
leave that up to you.” He slapped her butt as he stepped out of the room to
let her get ready.
Caroline
chose a simple black skirt and silver blouse, and applied a little makeup.
She stopped as she considered tonight. She felt almost like a teen going
on her first date. In fact, her first date was with AJ. But she wasn’t a
McLean at the time. But one could look past names.
Tonight,
she knew, would be another major milestone for them. She gave herself one more
finally look over in the mirror feeling she was missing something.
This
was the first time they were going out at husband and wife and she wasn’t
wearing her wedding ring. Her friends and co-workers knew nothing of AJ so of
course she kept it in the satin box it’d been given to her in so that there
would be no awkward questions. She pulled out her dresser drawer and stared at
the box. Would AJ notice if she did put it on or would he even care? She opened
the little black box. The very simple gold wedding band.
Quietly she slipped it on her finger. She felt she had to do
it in the name of marriage. And she did it because it felt good to wear it again
after all. AJ smiled from his post at the front door waiting for her. As he took
her hand he caught sight of it and his smiled widened.