17-Aug-2000
Title: Demons
Authors: bonnejeanne (bonnejeanne@yahoo.com) and vonceia (vonceia@yahoo.com)
Archive: GW Addiction and if she chooses, Darkflame
Category: yaoi, angst
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: 1x2, 6x5, various
Warnings: LEMON in some sections. Angst. AU - we do not guarantee that our interpretations of characters or events will agree with yours, so a general OOC warning.
Spoilers: Series, EW
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. Our stuff is ours. No money being made here. As with all our fics so far, while our goal is to stay as in character as possible, any discrepancies are our mistakes.
Feedback: Any and all comments, feedback, critiques welcome, be they short or long.
Notes: This is part of the Frozen Colony Arc, and takes place following The Hunt. If you are not familiar with the timeline and are curious, you can find the stories on GW Addiction and on DF's site. On GWA on the Bonne&Von page, there are numbers denoting which stories are FC Arc and should be read in what order.
Duo's demons appeared first in Down Time in Hell, and reappeared in Dancin With My Mirror. This is a fic to explore their existence and origins. Liberties are taken with Duo's history and original characters from ESO appear.
Lucrezia Noin sat looking at the screen, trying to concentrate. Her head dropped when she realized that she had read the same paragraph three times in a row and the information had failed to register. She sighed deeply, them opened her side desk drawer and removed a few paper files, hoping they would be enough to focus her attention. "Damned peace," she muttered, then laughed at her own words.
Inevitably, her thoughts returned to Zechs Merquise.
A slight shadow fell across her desk, then a soft voice said, "Hello Noin."
When she looked up, she saw Chang Wufei standing there.
"Oh," Noin said a little startled. "Hi Wufei." She felt a range of emotions pass through her quickly, causing her stomach to tighten. Silently, she commanded herself to straighten up and looked into the dark, exotic eyes before her. "Have a seat."
"Thank you," he said and sat with his usual straight posture. "I thought... we might talk."
Noin took a deep breath and sat back a little as she watched the onyx-eyed pilot who had been instrumental in saving the world twice. He was a war hero and worthy of her respect. So, why, she wondered, did she feel like re-arranging his face with her bare hands?
"Ok," Noin said. "What about?"
Wufei watched Noin closely and nodded mentally to himself.
"Noin..." he said quietly. "Would you like me to leave Earth?"
Damn! Noin thought, feeling her heart turn over in her chest.
"No!" she said emphatically. "I don't want you to leave Earth, Wufei."
"But my being here... is a problem for you, isn't it?" Wufei said gently.
Noin closed her eyes and looked down. "Contrary to your initial assessment of me, Wufei, I am not a weak person. I'm an adult... woman. I'm fine," she said, cursing herself for the outburst. I'm a soldier, she thought.
Wufei looked back directly. "My assessment of you, though it may have been incorrect, was that you were a weak soldier. Not a weak woman. I measured every woman, and every soldier, by one I had known before. My wife, who was killed defending our colony. My judgments were unforgiving. But I learned to respect you."
Noin looked up as the animosity drained from her body like water draining from a tub. "Hmm, I'm sorry, Wufei... both for your loss and for my behavior," she said, feeling more like herself. Looking at the young Chinese pilot, she shook her head, unable to think of how young he seemed. But, never again, would she underestimate him.
Looking into the dark eyes once again, she said, "I don't want you to leave, Wufei. If I am honest with myself, then I know it's not your fault. It's ... just the way things are..." She shrugged a little.
Wufei tilted his head. "You mean, it's just the way he is."
Noin looked up sharply. "What?" she heard her voice say, then melted in the chair. "Umm, yes," she agreed. "Guess you... how did you know that?"
Wufei looked at Noin. "I was married."
"Oh... yeah." Noin said, then shook her head, realizing that she might have jumped to a conclusion. "What did you mean?" she asked.
"I mean... it was also... just the way I was."
Noin frowned slightly, then put it together. "I get it," she said, then sighed. "I guess she knew?" Then Noin held up her hand. "It's your personal life. You don't have to answer that."
"She knew before I did," Wufei said simply. "I fought it all my life. Then Alfa told me... it wasn't... my fault." He shrugged, looking at Noin with clear, dark eyes.
Noin listened, feeling her own emotions untangle. She thought about all she had just learned by simply observing Wufei. The same skills she used as an instructor at the academy, were suddenly present.
"I've known Zechs Merquise, Milliardo Peacecraft, for a very long time. There was nothing I wouldn't do for him, Wufei," she said. "At the end of the war and the crisis, I started thinking in terms that I had wisely avoided ever since I met him all those years ago. I started forgetting me and loving Zechs. " She then smiled and took a calming breath. "So, my answer to you is still no. I don't want you to leave Earth. We need... I need you here."
Wufei watched her, listening to each word and nuance. "Noin... I had a one-sided love once, and I learned it wasn't what I thought. When I stopped thinking of owning, it saved me. When I let it go, it came back to me. Now it stays in my heart and I feel finally that I will never loose it. My first love was Heero Yuy."
Noin's eyebrows rose at that information, then she nodded. I can understand that, she thought. "Was he the one-sided love?" she asked.
"For a while," Wufei said. "He gave me the courage to face myself a little. Then I opened my heart again. That was Treize."
Noin blinked, thinking about the former leader. Then she remembered the session with Lady Une, watching and taping, she found out later, Treize with Zechs. Her body reacted, but she covered it. Then, she thought about what that might have been like and looked back at Wufei with some admiration and respect. "You are a strong man, Chang Wufei," she said.
Wufei shook his head. "Noin... Zechs and I... are drawn to each other like magnets. We look in each other's eyes and each one sees someone who has never felt worthy. I don't think it is love that drives us, but need. I don't know how long it will last. If it fails, I have love to support me. Will he?"
Noin's eyebrow arched at that question, then she thought about it a little deeper. It came to her suddenly that there was something she had been missing. She looked at Wufei, into those exotic eyes. "Yes," she said, softly. "Always. Thank you, Wufei. Now, I really get it. Love goes a lot deeper than I was giving it credit for."
Wufei smiled. He stood up, and went to Noin, bent and kissed her cheek softly. "Be strong," he said. "But be strong as a woman. There are still too many soldiers."
Noin felt peace at Wufei's words. "Yes, I agree," she said. "I will be strong. And you find some rest, too, former soldier."
Wufei bowed formally, smiled slightly, and left.
Noin watched as Wufei left. Too damned many pretty men, she thought, then stood up. Smiling, she decided against phoning Sally and made her way to Sally's office for a surprise attack. She felt good and strong.
Duo sat in his seat on the shuttle, tapping his fingers on his knee. His face appeared controlled but he didn't like flying commercial - didn't like not being in control of the vehicle. So he tapped.
Heero waited until the flight was underway to speak to Duo. He saw the fingers moving on Duo's knee and smiled a little. "So," he said, placing his hand on Duo's other knee. "Do you know that guy? The Monsignor Elvay?"
Duo glanced over quickly. "Hmmm? Um.... Know him? Why would I..." he stopped. Violet eyes became a bit unfocused. He seemed to be listening to something Heero couldn't hear. "Um, maybe... I'm not sure. He... reminds me of someone." Duo shrugged and blinked at Heero. "Not sure."
Heero nodded. Mentally, he noted the change in Duo's eyes, having seen a similar look in Quatre's eyes before. "I did some checking. Monsignor Elvay could have been on L-2 the same time you were. The Church has him listed as Father Maxwell's superior."
Duo's eyes widened. "They did? He could?" He swallowed. "I think..." he frowned. "The Church never gave Father a lot of support, not that I could ever see... He got monthly funds, not enough, never enough, and he took most of his and Sister Helen's living allowance and spent it on the orphanage. There was one..." he stopped, and licked his lips. He stopped tapping and his hand flattened, as he rubbed his palm up and down his thigh in a seemingly unconscious gesture. "There was one time... someone did come to visit... I don't.... Father was very... they both were...." Duo frowned, as if trying to remember something that wanted to elude his grasp.
Heero watched Duo. The braided pilot was obviously upset and the pattern of the conversation was not lost on Heero. He slid his hand up Duo's thigh and squeezed a little. "They both were what?" he asked, quietly.
Duo scowled. "No," he said distinctly. "Father wasn't afraid, that's ridiculous." Then he glanced at Heero. He seemed to relax. "Oh you know, nervous... I guess they wanted to make a good impression or something. Must have been difficult with all of us... brats... we weren't exactly the most well-behaved kids in the colony."
Gears were turning in Heero's head. He listened carefully to what Duo was saying, missing nothing. He was beginning to think that something far deeper than Duo not being on medication was going on. He didn't rule out the drug being the cause for the agitation, but began separating it out as the only cause. They were on a shuttle going to Earth to a meeting, not going to face armies out to kill them. Heero took a deep breath. "Maybe you guys weren't well behaved, but if someone important were coming around, you wouldn't have made it hard on the Father and Sister Helen, hn?"
Dup sighed. "We didn't... we wouldn't have *tried* to," he said. "Things rarely went as planned around that place." He took a breath, trying to focus on what they were talking about, instead of getting drawn down memory lane. "What're you thinking, Heero? About this guy..."
"I don't trust him," Heero said, not one for small talk. "At least, that's what my training is telling me. I'm still checking. I'll tell you what I find when I get more." he said.
Duo frowned. "They think that's funny," he muttered.
"Why would they think..." He reached out and grabbed Heero's hand. The he relaxed again. "Um... okay sure. I didn't think of that. Hey, you think we shoulda told Wufei we were coming?" he said, suddenly, grinning slightly.
"No," Heero responded, squeezing Duo's hand. "Duo, who is *they*?" he asked, looking up, seeking the violet eyes.
"Huh?"
"You said, *they* think that's funny... Who is *they*?" Heero said, looking into the violet pool.
Duo covered it but he was startled for a moment. "I did?"
"Hai, "Heero said. "Tell me."
"My..." Duo stopped, and his hand twitched as if he had an impulse to cover his mouth. "Um... later, Heero. I'll tell you later. Okay? I hate sitting here like so much excess baggage, while someone else works the thrusters."
Heero looked at Duo for a long moment. He then moved back slightly and looked around the cabin. Satisfied with his assessment of the number of passengers and their proximity to he and Duo, Heero nodded. "Later, then," he said, quietly. Then squeezing Duo's hand again, he said, "What I really want to do is put my arms around you and kiss you until you faint. Don't know if that'll go over too well here... There's always later."
Duo blinked and then a very real grin spread slowly. He reached down and placed his hand on the armrest between their seats. Then he gripped it. "I bet you can," he said and sure enough the armrest moved, folding up into the space between their seat backs. "Yeah... better. I... don't know how it would go over either but..." he leaned towards Heero, with no obstruction between them and whispered, "I don't really care..."
Heero moved closer, placing his arm around Duo's shoulders. He pressed his mouth to Duo's, kissing him deeply. He felt his body respond immediately with heat as he thrust his tongue into the braided pilot's warm, willing mouth.
The flight attendant came by checking on passengers from the rear forward. "Mr. Matthews, Mr. Young?" she said, "Do you need any... oh, I guess not..."
Heero actually chuckled, but did not let go of Duo.
Duo opened his eyes and looked briefly over Heero's shoulder, winking once, before sinking back into the liplock.
Zechs leaned back on the sofa, sipping a glass of green tea. He had just spoken to his sister and made an appointment to see her and talk. It was time.
Glancing up, he saw Wufei inspecting an old photograph of his. "I don't think I could explain a nude photograph to Relena. Maybe you can tell me what the photographer was going after? I only see me in an embarrassing and scandalous position."
Wufei glanced at Zechs. "That's about what I see," he admitted, then his serious expression changed to a smile. "This would have been great to put up in my Gundam during the war..."
Zechs laughed. "I want you to have it," he said. "I would have probably given it to Noin, but she's got vids that I can't manage to get from her or her supplier, Lady Une."
Wufei's eyebrows went up. "Hn? Interesting. So tell me about... you and Noin."
Zech's drained his cup of tea, then stretched. "I've known her since I entered the Academy. We went through training and classes together. She's smart, maybe smarter than me. We looked out after each other. She was always making herself second and letting me be first in school. It both irritated me and flattered me. I trust her with my life. I love her. I think she deserves better." he said.
"Is she in love with you?" Wufei asked quietly.
Zechs looked down, feeling a range of emotions flow through him. "Yes," he answered, then looked up at Wufei.
Wufei simply gazed at Zechs, waiting.
Zechs shook his head. "I don't feel the same. Now that the war is over, and just after, I hid out and did a lot of thinking. I've been involved in revenge and death for a long time, that it didn't leave much room for a life."
"That's true," Wufei said, examining his nails carefully.
"Now, I'm getting one. Why do you ask?" Zechs said.
Wufei looked up. "Why do you think, Zechs?"
Zechs smiled. "Because you wanted to know," he said, sliding from the sofa. "Actually, the truth is I'm can fight for causes all day and night, but I didn't think I was going to survive past my duty to my Father. I have a lot of demons inside. I'm good at one thing and it's becoming obsolete. The duties of carrying the blood line belong to Relena now."
"None of that matters to her, does it?"
"No," Zechs replied. "Did you talk to her?" he asked.
"Yes."
Zechs nodded. His breeding stopped him from asking the nature of the conversation. 'You're a soldier. Don't be a fool -- ask!' he thought. "Oh," he managed.
"If I wasn't here, would she have a chance of being your lover?" Wufei asked, watching Zechs, thinking how beautiful he was, and how unconscious of it.
"She has been my lover," Zechs said, moving closer to Wufei. Reaching up, he brushed Wufei's cheek, feeling his heart speed up. 'You are so...' he thought, then clamped the self-recrimination down. "If you weren't here, then I'd be here alone."
Wufei smiled. "Why, Zechs?" he said, turning his face into the light touch.
Zechs leaned down and kissed Wufei's cheek, then his mouth. "Because, you're the only person that I feel this relaxed around." he said. "Relaxed, hot.. excited."
Wufei sighed, returning the kiss.
Zechs moved around Wufei, holding him tight. He sighed feeling Wufei relax in his arms. He felt passion and desire, but was aware that things within him were shifting. Leaning back slowly, he smiled, looking into Wufei's dark eyes. "I have felt aroused before, but it will not ever be like this with anyone else for me, Wufei. I loved Treize, Noin, even felt desire for Une at times... but this just feels different. Do you understand?"
"Yes," Wufei said. "Every love is different. I do understand."
Zechs chuckled, deep within his throat. He felt every part of himself relax and settle. Ice blue eyes held both peace and lust. "Xie Xie," he said quietly. "I have a few of the pieces of my soul back." Long fingers, stroked Wufei's back.
As Zechs smiled up at Wufei, he heard a knock on the door. His expression changed and Zechs moved to his feet in a flash. He then moved to the door, a gun appearing in his hand. "Security system," he said over his shoulder to Wufei. "No one should have been able to get right up to the door..."
Touching the vid panel, he saw two figures at the door and slumped against the door. "Heero and Duo?" he said, to Wufei, then opened the door. "Good evening, come in." he said, stepping back.
Duo bounced in, grinning from ear to ear. "Hiya Zechs!" he said cheerfully. "Nice place. Security system sucks though. We were cruising the neighborhood, thought we'd drop in and say hi!"
Wufei stood up, unable to suppress a smile. "Hello Duo."
"Wu-man!" Duo called, coming over to administer a hug.
Heero looked up at Zechs and shrugged. "Hi. It's not that bad. Could use some tweaking."
Zechs closed the door behind Heero.
"Hi, Heero," he said, with a sigh.
Walking into the room, Heero glanced around, then went to greet Wufei himself. He let Duo have the Chinese pilot for awhile, then cut in. Looking into Wufei's eyes, he simply kissed Wufei a lot.
Wufei looked from one to the other of the two pilots and kind of... radiated pleasure. "It's good to see you," he said formally, when he could get his breath back.
"Yeah I bet!" Duo said, grinning. He sauntered over to Zechs. "How's it going, tall guy?"
"Good, Duo," Zechs said. "Can I get you something?"
Duo wrinkled his nose. "Ooh, Zechs! Tense, much?"
Zechs smiled as his eyes dropped to Duo's lips, then back up. "Not too much," he said, quietly.
Duo saw the look. His grin turned slightly wicked. "Wu-man keeping you busy, hmmm?"
There was something about Duo that called to Zechs. Somehow the braided pilot had the effect of testing Zechs' baser nature. He leaned down and whispered in Duo's ear. "On my knees every day," he said.
Duo laughed. He looked over at Heero. "Some fun, these two."
"Yeah," Heero called back. "You doin' ok?" he asked Wufei.
Wufei nodded. He looked closely at Heero. "I'm good." He glanced at Duo and back to Heero, saying nothing, simply raising an eyebrow slightly.
Heero nodded almost imperceptibly. "Hn," he remarked.
Wufei acknowledged with barely a flicker of his eyelids. Then he went to Zechs. "Did you just get here?" he asked. "Where are you staying?" He gave Zechs a little nudge.
"We just arrived on a shuttle," Heero answered.
"Why don't you stay here?" Zechs offered. "There is more than enough room."
"We could stay for a night or two," Duo said, looking at Heero for approval. "I don't think where we are going, they will be too anxious to put us up once they know why we came."
"Thanks, Zechs," Heero said, looking up at the tall blond.
"Not a problem," Zechs said, nudging Wufei back. "I'll show you around later. Can I get you anything, Heero?"
"I'm fine," Heero said, glancing over at Duo.
"I don't need anything, but could ya show me around now? I like to know something about the place I'm sleeping," Duo said, looking up at Zechs with a smile.
"Right this way," Zechs said, leading the way upstairs.
He gave Duo a small tour, showing him the bed rooms, and the garden outside. "It's kind of quiet and private. I like it that way," he said leaning over the balcony banister.
Duo nodded. Zechs certainly wasn't lacking for physical comforts. Family money? Duo thought. "Nice place," he said noncommittally. His little apartment in L2 could fit into one of Zechs' guest bedrooms. "I guess Preventers get decent pay, ne?"
"Not bad pay," Zechs said. "But the house and the property were mine before. I've only lived here for a couple of years. It's a lot bigger than my OZ quarters, however. I miss it sometimes."
"Do you, now?" Duo said. He leaned against the balcony also, facing the other way.
"Yes," Zechs said. "I grew up in a house five times bigger than this, but I didn't learn how to live in my own skin until I went to the Academy. I'm grateful for what I've been blessed with Duo, but I had no idea what life was like, until I lived in that small space."
"Hmmmm," Duo said. "Well it's nice of ya to let us stay, even though we snuck up on ya like this," he smiled slightly. "We won't be underfoot too long. Gotta fly to Rome tomorrow. Might be back... real soon."
"Rome," Zechs said, "Interesting. Take your time and stay as long as you like. Don't worry about being underfoot. It'll be nice to have people here." He looked down at Duo. "I can back you up, if need be," he offered.
Duo glanced up. "Thanks for the offer," he said nodding. "I'll let ya know. I guess it all depends on how pissed off God is with me when we come back... you wouldn't have a problem taking Him on, would ya? I didn't think so."
Zechs frowned slightly, looking at Duo curiously. "Are you taking out the Church?"
Duo was silent for a moment, the slight smile lingering on his face and a somewhat feral look entering his eyes. "Nah... I don't have to. They're already out as it is. Would you believe they've stooped so far as to offer a pardon to the God of Death?"
"Interesting," Zechs replied "Congratulations. That is a rare thing."
Duo's expression sharpened. "Shall I put in a good word for you, Zechs?"
"No thank you. I'm enjoying the anonymity," Zechs replied.
Duo laughed. "I thought I was too," he said. "Take it as a heads-up if you like."
"Thanks, Duo. I will," Zechs said. "Hungry?"
Duo brightened. "Sure! With a big place like this, you must have a big kitchen, well stocked, right?"
"Yes," Zechs said. "I'll show you."
End of Part 3 - TBC
What do you think?
bonnejeanne & vonceia
Please send comments to: bonnejeanne@yahoo.com or vonceia@yahoo.com