Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
~ Unknown

You have to laugh at yourself, because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't.
~ Amy Ray of the Indigo Girls

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
~ Salvador Dali

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
~ G. B. Burgin

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
~ Carl Gustav Jung

The bigger they are, the more pieces they make.
~ Wolverine

I wear the cheese; the cheese does not wear me.
~ "Cheese Guy," Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I think we're all mentally ill; those of us outside the asylums only hide it a little better - and maybe not that much better, after all.
~ Steven King

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
~ Unknown

There's a thin line between being a twin and being an only child. I call it "topsoil."
~ Siber Wulf

I'd like to teach the world the world to sing in perfect harmony, but the first sign of resistance I get and someone's gonna get hurt.
~ Mark Dockham

It's not that I'm a bad person. It's just that every time I call on my conscience during a moral dilemma, I get voice mail.
~ Brad Osberg

When I die I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread around my parents' house so that my mother can pick up after me once last time.
~ Caleb Ronsen

Is there a word for when you shove green beans up your nose and run around the neighborhood like an idiot? Because if not, then that cop was lying.
~ Derek

No one can say where that line is between fascination and obsession. But wherever it is, Leonard Nimoy's lawyers and mine have agreed that its width is exactly 500 feet.
~ Andy Ihnatko

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Who cares? I bet he tastes like chicken.
~ Paul DeBaldo

Sure, the nurses at the Red Cross are willing to lie you down on a vinyl table and tie a rubber strap around your arm and cut a hole in you and watch you bleed for ten minutes, but they freak out if you ask them to gag you and call you a Naughty Little Piggy, too.
~ Andy Ihnatko