Well, someone's gotta lay down a law, right? So I will. Failure to obey the rules will result in flogging with shaved monkeys and three weeks' vacation with my human relatives.

1. Absolutely no microwave popcorn allowed - it always burns and stinks up the whole website.

2. Do not, under any circumstances, feed the hyenas. They're on a very strict diet of fingers only.

3. No flaming, unless you're a pyromaniac.

4. Leave your shoes at the door. We want to be sure the local wolves carry them off.

5. No inflatable furniture. I don't wanna see it flyin' around the room just because my mom needed somethin' to chew on.

6. Please bathe and shave before entering the website. Myself and the hyenas are allergic to humans and human hair.

7. Don't bite unless you're prepared to be bitten back.

8. No manners. All mannerly people will be torn apart by my pack.

9. If you're gonna kill it, you hafta eat it. Yeah, you with the roach. This applies to you.