Day 63

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My Raw Journal ~ Month Three

Tuesday ~ August 24, 2004 ~ Day 90

I've been doing better since my last journal entry, not back to as high raw as I was before but I'm taking my time and letting it go naturally. I don't want to start off hard core like I originally did to then explode again in two months.

I had a happy moment last night. I ran into a clothes store that was having a clearance sale because I wanted to pick up a couple of nice summer shirts for our cruise in October. Well, I saw these black dress slacks that I saw in the same store last year but I didn't want to buy anymore "fat" clothes and waste my money because I had started a different diet then and was planning on losing weight. I decided that since I've lost two sizes (was a 20 last year now a 16) I wanted to buy them for the cruise for a semi-formal night. So I automatically picked up the 16 and tried them on, they fit but were actually a little big but never considered trying on the 14. So when I went up to the register, I hesitated for a moment and the clerk said "what's the matter hon, you debating?" and she smiled. So I told her that I loved these pants but didn't want to spend the $50 on pants that I didn't plan on fitting into by the cruise in October.

We ended up getting into a conversation about the raw food diet and how I've lost 22 lbs. and plan on losing a lot more. So she smiled and said "girl, I didn't know you before but you look great. Go get that size 14 off the rack and try em' on, I know they'll fit just fine". I laughed and said I didn't think so but I'll try anyway, I thought at the very least I'd fit into them by October so it won't be a waste of money.

Well I'll be damned, the suckers just slid right on. I didn't have to squiggle into them or hold my breath or anything. I couldn't believe it...they fit!!!! They weren't even tight through the butt or thighs or anything, they actuallly fit like they're supposed to. So of course I bought them. But now I'm so confident in myself I wonder if I should have grabbed a size 12 for the cruise. Oh well, I didn't want to push it. And the style of the pants would be easy to have taken in if needed, or should I say when needed.

That's all I got to write today, more next time. I won't be journaling daily like I did during the first two months because I just don't have the time like I did then. But I will be adding entries as often as I can.

Food Intake:
coffee
banana
red delicious apple
a sliced cuke with chopped red onion and raw french dressing
iced coffee (uuuugh)
dill pickle

Saturday ~ August 14, 2004 ~ Day 80

Ok, you may have noticed that I haven't written anything in my journal here for the last two weeks. I don't even know what to say or how to explain but I will do my best.

To begin with, when I weighed in and took the progress picture above on day 63 I was so frustrated that I had only lost 3 lbs in month two and there was no difference in my picture. I took this really hard on myself and felt like a pathetic failure. I didn't want to post because I felt that I was supposed to be a success for others to see how great it is to be raw. And if I was a failure, why should I even be here writing anything.

Anyway, I don't know what the heck all this ridiculous self pitty crap was all about. Maybe it was something else bothering me that I didn't realize or stress or what, I dunno but it's pretty rediculous.

I haven't fallen totally back to cooked food over the last couple of weeks, some days were higher raw then others. I just found myself running out of fruits and veggies so I'd end up eating some cooked. So I'm off to the supermarket to stock the crisper and I will start my journaling again tomorrow.

So anyway, I'm ready to pull myself up by my bootsraps and get my act together. And I was upset about my last picture, oh man the next one will be just as bad unless I get my ass in gear over the next two weeks. I need to make up for lost time here.

Wednesday ~ July 28, 2004 ~ Day 63

I took my progress pic today and as you see there wasn't much "progress". I usually take a full body pic then I zoom in for a face shot but I forgot to zoom this month so it's not a close up for a good comparison but it's all I got.

I didn't want to post this months progress pic but I decided that I have to show the good with the bad so there it is. If I only decided to write the good and not the bad or post only the good pics, I wouldn't be being fair to myself during my struggle through this raw journey.

I'm very dissapointed in myself, I don't understand why I'm not doing as good as I had been. I think it's more of a schedule issue, I've been so busy lately I haven't been making the time to shop properly to make sure I have plenty of raw in the house. I know it's a poor excuse but it's the truth. I just need to make myself prepare better like I had been.

I think another problem is that I haven't had time to journal like I had been. When I journal daily it tends to keep me on track, it makes me responsible for what I eat. I know that can't be a long term excuse since this lifestyle has to eventually be just that, a lifestyle. Something that I automatically do and just be the way that I live. But I think until I get to that point the daily journaling helps me to keep going but I haven't had much time lately to journal daily.

Not much else to write today, very upset with myself.

Tuesday ~ July 27, 2004 ~ Day 62

This morning I was ready to get back on track so I prepared some raw meals to bring to work. I sliced a cuke with raw french dressing and I also made a serving of rawcuamole. So I did well today and was very happy with myself. I've really slacked over the last couple of weeks and I've been down about it so starting month three I'm ready to get back on track.

Not much else to talk about today, I headed straight home after work and did a little house work and now I'm just journaling here then I will read some bulletin boards and head to bed.

I didn't have time to take my picture this morning so I will get that done in the next day or two. I'm not really in a rush because my weight loss was so minnimal this month but hey, this is a journey and I have to post the good with the bad.