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Light & Dust Mobile Anthology of Poetry

Another Perspective -- Katie Goddard


Finding Susan Smith Nash requires navigating the maze that is the Oklahoma College of Continuing Education Administration building. Few offices are labeled, and few rooms are numbered.

Staircases rise and descend on all sides, making the building seem like an architectural spiderweb.

It is a great place to work and not be found. Nash is a programming director for the OCCE and one of the best-kept secrets at the University of Oklahoma. That's just the way she likes it.

"I didn't even put a name on my door," Nash said. "I like to stay hidden."

At first glance, Nash doesn't seem like someone who lives an exceptional life. She is conservative, quiet and doesn't stand out in a crowd. When she speaks she sounds like Marilyn Monroe, which might persuade others not to take her seriously. If you try to meet her gaze, she will probably look away.

Nash's accomplishments, however, are more than noteworthy. She is the author of eight books and more than 100 poems and short stories in both English and Spanish. "A Paleontologist's Notebook," one of her books of poetry, was a finalist for the Oklahoma Book Award in 1996. Her first book of short stories, "Channel-Surfing the Apocalypse," won the Gertrude Stein Award for Creative Writing in 1996. Most recently, she was a 2000 Oklahoma Book award finalist for "First Light," an anthology of short stories by Paraguayan women writers that she collected and translated.

Nash started writing in high school, when she began keeping a diary. "I wrote down all my hidden trauma," Nash said. "I looked nice and normal on the outside, but inside I felt quite tortured."

Human eyes will never again see this early attempt at self-expression, however. "I ended up throwing it away after binging on pecan pie," she said with a smile. "I kind of wish I still had it."

Nash, it seems, can be defined in a quote by Jewel: "I want everyone to hear me singing. I just don't want them to know that it's me." Her desire for anonymity stems from the intensely personal nature of her writing. Nash's way of dealing with the world around her is to write about it, and most of her thoughts she's not eager to share.

"I always get asked if it's autobiographical, and I always say no," she said. "But the truth is, there's enough autobiography in it to make me uncomfortable."

She doesn't keep any of her books in her office and said that her parents have never read them. She likes being published by small presses because she receives little attention. Nash's work was first published in the University of Oklahoma literary magazine when she was still in college. She received her doctorate in English at OU, and won the Outstanding Ph.D. Dissertation Award for her work on apocalyptic narratives used by messianic leaders of doomsday cults.

"Doomsday cults are fascinating to me," she said. "I like the utopian ideal. It's easy to be sucked in by it. I could probably see myself in one."

Her research on doomsday cults inspired the way she first looked at the culture of Paraguay. "When I first started learning about Paraguay, I applied the same concepts and sort of looked at the country as a big doomsday cult," she said.

Despite her fascination, Nash doesn't believe that the apocalypse is on the way. She has lots of plans for the future, not the least of which is the publication of her new book, which is being released in December. "It's called 'Fly Over States of Mind,'" she said.

"It's mostly poetry, but kind of a play. Well, it's playing with the reader. I've written most of it in English and some in Spanish. The English is on one side of the page with the Spanish on the back, and it looks like a translation. In some places it is, and in others I did the exact opposite. I really like experimental styles of writing, and this is definitely in that vein."

She writes how she feels, which is sometimes dark and always edgy. She partly attributes this to being from Oklahoma.

"Oklahoma is a frustrating place to be from," Nash said. "If you don't have an outlet, the only possible response is madness."

Nash was born in Ardmore and raised in Norman. Though she still lives here, she travels frequently, and said that's the secret to remaining happy and positive in the Sooner state.

"Women growing up in Oklahoma really need to believe in themselves," she said. "It's easy to feel trapped. But even if you're physically here, you can have an interesting life. It's good to have a home to return to, but stay restless."

Nash is well situated in Oklahoma. It's the perfect place to sing without anyone realizing exactly where the sound is coming from.