Disclaimer: Paramount abuses, I mean owns the characters...but have no clue who they are.
Chakotay sat still and closed his eyes. The warm late season breeze was comforting. And made him realize just how much he missed real weather: the variations in the temperature, the wind--even the rain. The words of the Xhank storyteller were melodious and soothing. He opened his eyes and looked around the darkening circle. He smiled when he saw the Captain. She looked uncomfortable--but she had come. He hadn't been sure she would, but he had seen the look in her eyes when the Xhank mayor had offered her the use of the mud baths.
His grin grew when Janeway glanced at him. She smiled slightly, then stood. He almost laughed. The mud bath must have been more tempting than he realized. He made a mental note to remember this fact. She did need to relax more--especially recently. He tried to remember the last time she'd actually taken time off. He would check the holodeck logs, then drag in the Doctor if she didn't cooperate. He watched her leave then turned his attention back to the storyteller who was starting a new story.
#
#
Dantra smiled as he greeted Chakotay. "I watched you. You too are a teller of stories?"
He chuckled. "Sometimes."
"I used to travel up there." Dantra pointed upwards. "I would travel to our many colonies teaching our traditions and learning new stories. But this is my home." He spread his hands. "And what is your home like?"
Chakotay looked upward. "Home? I grew up on a planet called Trebus...but that was a long time ago...And it was never really my home." He looked around. "You are lucky..."
Dantra chuckled and clasped his gnarled hands together. "I am content here...And Commander..." He nodded toward an approaching dignitary. "Enjoy your last night on Xhankar. Do visit the mud baths." The alien bowed and walked away.
#
He stopped at the fork in the path, unsure which way to go. He didn't want to accidentally disturb the captain; she had become so formal that he sometimes felt like he was back at the academy. He knew the sarcastic comments that various members of the crew made. Many referred to the hard core inspections they had faced in the academy--and some were about the Captain's bizarre relationship with Seven. After over four years of peace, there were disturbing signs of unrest. Too many were unhappy, worried and scared that she was losing it.
He too watched her and worried. Over the past few months he sometimes felt like giving up. One can only take so much before the will to keep trying wanes. He was near that point. He would still offer her suggestions--but he no longer really bothered to argue with her--it seemed the only opinions she valued were hers and Seven's.
He picked a path and started walking. And stopped after walking maybe three meters. A large spotted feline-like creature lay on the path staring at him. It sat up slowly and scratched behind its ears. Its eyes narrowed as Chakotay just stood there.
He opted to try the other trail.
He walked under the rock tunnel and glanced around quickly. No one was there. He bent down and stuck his finger in the mud. It was perfect. He quickly stripped, stepped into the mud, then slid under it. As his face reemerged he wiped the mud off his face.
"You are trespassing in my mud."
He jumped slightly, then laughed. "I didn't know you were here--should I leave?" He turned slightly so he could see her.
She pulled the dark robe she was wearing tighter. "I was finished. Do enjoy yourself, Commander."
"Kathryn?" He asked, wondering briefly why he risked another rejection.
"I can't," she replied.
"Why?" He watched as she just stood there--it surprised him. Maybe she was finally ready to talk. He offered her a way. "Dantra told a story..."
"Another ancient legend?"
He chuckled. "Yes, but not of my people." He shifted slightly so he faced her completely. "It's a story about the two moons. And why tonight is such a special time..."
#
..."That's a typical story..." Kathryn started to say, but Chakotay continued speaking; something in the way she was standing and listening increased his hope.
"It took time, but the Xhank did learn to live together; to put aside their differences and to find reasons to live together peacefully. When the moons are together, like tonight, it is believed that those two lovers from the past are once again together. It is a night to declare and renew vows of peace and love..."
He waited for what felt like minutes, before asking with a sinking feeling in his heart. "Do you truly want to spend the rest of your life alone?" He feared she was retreating again.
"I..." She stopped and turned to face him. "No. But I don't..."
He smiled with relief. "Don't what? Know how? Know where to begin?" He laughed. "That's easy. First, you walk over here and join me..."
"In the mud?" He watched in stunned silence as the robe slipped off her shoulders, baring her completely. She slipped into the mud before he could turn away. He stared at the rocks opposite him, all the while silently pondering what was happening.
"Why?" Chakotay asked after a long silence.
"Why? Why what?" She asked softly.
He took a deep breath. "Why now?"
"I..." He studied her, feeling the patience he'd thought he was losing return, as she scooped some mud in her right hand and watched it dribble back. He knew eventually she would talk. "I discovered I'd lost my way...I'm not sure how or when, but I need help finding my way back."
"Lost?" He chuckled, then his voice grew serious. "You let your guilt and doubts take control. You forgot to live."
"It's not that easy. One hundred-and-forty-seven people depend on me--they are here because..."
"Kathryn, we've had this discussion before. Of all the things you can rightly claim responsibility for, the Caretaker's actions are not one of them. And who takes care of you? Who do you depend on?" They'd talked in the void. He was convinced she'd never truly recovered from her depression. But she had avoided the topic since then.
"I don't have that luxury."
"Silk sheets, silver spoons, a maid are luxuries. A friend--" He hesitated for a minute as he wondered what her reaction would be if he added *and lover.* "--Is a basic necessity."
"Just a friend?"
He coughed in confusion. This had not been the direction he had planned. Wanted yes, planned no. "That depends." He worked hard to maintain a steady rate of breathing as he contemplated the surprising turn in the conversation.
"And what do you think I should do?" She was smiling--possibly even smiling seductively.
"Do? Start talking to your crew again--not just Seven. Maybe even attend one of Neelix's events and enjoy yourself." It was his turn to avoid the subject they'd been dogging since their days on New Earth.
"And?"
"And? Umm...Listen to your senior staff, they would appreciate it..." He was now positive she knew exactly where this conversation was going.
"And?" This time as she spoke, she moved closer until she was only a foot from him.
"Kathryn...Don't..."
"Don't what?"
He was breathing erratically now. "Don't do anything you'll regret in the morning."
"Regrets in the morning--I've had those for far too long." She reached up and touched his cheek.
"You don't know how long I've waited." He took her hand and stood, pulling her with him. She laughed when he picked her up and carried her to the waterfall. "You are far too dirty to kiss..."
"So are you..."
#
#
Chakotay rolled over and stared at the nude form at his side. It was still an incredible thought that just a few hours ago she had been only his captain. He had been worried last night that she would have regrets. Now he was terrified. For five years he'd loved her silently, only rarely hinting at what his feelings were. He had tried to move on, but always he came back to her.
He smiled as he ran a finger down her arm. She grunted. "Good morning," he said.
She rolled over and smiled. "Good morning to you too." She reached up and touched his face. "No regrets."
He smiled. "Good. I was thinking of pancakes for breakfast."
"I wasn't..." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head closer. "I had other plans for breakfast." She grinned wickedly just before she kissed him.
#
Chakotay knew he was smiling too much as he listened to B'Elanna's most recent complaint about Voyager's resident Borg. It took him a second to realize that she'd stopped talking and was staring at him.
"Well?"
He narrowed his eyes and tried to look stern--he was pretty sure he wasn't very convincing. "Well what?"
"You seemed to have enjoyed the festivities last night."
"Yes, it was interesting."
"Interesting," B'Elanna said with a slight hint of sarcasm. "That is apparently an understatement."
"Lieutenant," there was now a hint of warning in his voice. "We were discussing Seven."
She waved her hand. "I can solve that problem." She pulled up the chair she'd earlier rejected and sat down. "I want to know why you are smiling like...Kahless! You didn't?" She was beaming at the thought.
"I have come to the conclusion that certain lieutenants have way to much spare time on their hands."
She leaned forward. "Hey, I'm glad. Really--anyway, I promise not to say a word. How?"
"I expect you to solve your current situation with Seven. If you need any help, ask."
"Spoil sport." She snorted as she stood. "I'll take care of Seven..."
"As long as she still *functioning* afterward. Lieutenant." He waved her out of the office with a smile. He waited until she'd left, then leaned back in his chair. He wondered just how obvious their new relationship was. If B'Elanna was any indication, he at least was very obvious.
Life didn't change overnight. Kathryn still had her demons--but he no longer worried they would devour her.