Christina
Oct 1999
I haven't readpart two yet!
Captain Janeway threw Tom a stern glare as she stood. "Boregian fleet, this is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager."
"We know who you are," a tall Boregian male said. "We want to know why you have violated the conditions of your safe-passage."
"Erwo initiated contact. We were about to explain that..."
Erwo's image appeared. "I know all about the conditions. As guild mistress of the..."
The Boregian male's voice cut her off. "It is still the wish of the government that there be no contact of any kind..."
Erwo laughed, then said something the universal translator didn't understand. "General, this has nothing to do with Boregian morals and everything to do with a thriving economy based upon interstellar trade. Your party is pro-Boregia and anti-alien..."
There was some sputtering on the war ship, then the general appeared. "That's absolute nonsense..."
"Hey," Janeway cut in. "If you don't mind, while you continue this fascinating debate, we'll be on our way." She motioned for Tom to move Voyager out of the ring.
"Halt," the general ordered. He motioned toward someone. Suddenly her heart flipped as a young Boregian officer appeared on the bridge. She heard the sighs of the other women...
His light brown hair was to his waist, and carefully braided, his Boregian features were less alien.
"Hello," he said in a low, sultry voice. "I am Commandant D'no." He looked around the bridge, before returning his attention to Janeway. He smiled. "You are all under arrest."
"Captain?" Chakotay asked when she didn't respond. She stood there as he called for security.
Chakotay glanced at his Captain, then at the smirking Boregian who stood calmly, yet arrogantly, in the center of bridge. A quick glance around the bridge showed the other women were as transfixed as Kathryn. He realized he needed to modify his request for security as three security officers entered with their phasers drawn. The two women became as fascinated with their unwanted guest.
He called again. This time ordering that all female personel be ordered to stay away from the bridge. He closed his link just as Seven and Tuvok arrived.
"Commander," she said as she stepped off the bridge. "I was monitoring the situation, and it is imperative that I inform..." She looked around the room. "I see I am too late. Species Two-three-four-five-nine-six males can produce a pheromone that affects females..." She looked around again. D'no was staring at her in puzzlement. "Fortunately I am immune."
"Fascinating," Chakotay said. "Commander Tuvok, I want this individual off the ship immediately."
"We're unable to beam him to his ship," Harry said.
"Then into the brig."
"That won't be necessary," Janeway said as she turned. "Commandant D'no will be treated as an honored guest. All the women he wants, supplies, technology..."
Chakotay stared at her, then glanced at Tuvok. "Captain? Are you all right?"
She smiled and sighed. "Never been better Commander. In fact I think I'll order Voyager turned over to the Boregians."
Tuvok frowned and almost seemed to be in pain--but Chakotay was more interested in the Captain's unJaneway like behavior. He glanced at D'no, then Janeway then back at the Boregian. "Captain, under article three paragraph four B, I hearby am relieving you of command pending a complete medical review. Commander Tuvok do you concur that this is appropriate?"
There was a second of silence, the Tuvok spoke. "I concur. Ensign Kim, article three specifically states that three of the senior staff must concur."
Kim looked horrified. Chakotay almost smiled--the poor kid had been complaining that nothing exciting had happened when he was on duty recently. "I concur." Harry sounded very faint.
"We have a consensus. Commander Tuvok, please escort Captain Janeway to Sick-Bay. Computer at this time I am taking command of Voyager."
He breathed again when the computer complied. Tuvok had arranged that too. Janeway looked stunned, but the most surprised person on the bridge was D'no. "You can relieve your captain like that?"
Chakotay shrugged slightly. "Sure can. You should see what we did to the last one. He tried to serve Pusta Soup one too many times..."
D'no vanished.
Several seconds later, Janeway slowly sat back down in her chair. "What happened?"
"You nearly gave Voyager to the Boregians."
"WHAT!?"
The viewscreen flickered. "Voyager, your ship will be closely monitored. Any more infractions of your safe passage agreement will be met with deadly force." The Boregian command ship put a tractor beam on Erwo's ship and dragged it away.
Janeway turned to Chakotay. "I want a complete report. My ready room, NOW, mister." She paused. "I seem to remember something about relieving me of command...You have a Hell of a lot of explaining to do..." Then she winked.
As he followed her to the ready room, he heard Ensign Kim, of all people, whistle.
"Damn," Chakotay muttered as he watched the Boregian Commandant beam onto the bridge the following day. He was tired of the Boregians and their paranoia. The bridge was free of females, and the security teams that would accompany the inspectors were under orders to inform all the females and keep them away. There would be no repeats of the previous day's experience.
The Doctor had been the only one who had overjoyed at a chance to study the Boregian physiology more closely. Janeway had quietly cursed their continued intrusion.
"Shall we begin?" Commandant D'no barked as he stepped on Chakotay's foot.
Chakotay was tempted to swear, but the universal translators would translate...He nodded. "This is the bridge." D'no glared at his obvious statement.
"I realize that Commander..." The Boregian started toward the ready room and stopped. "Not all your crew is human?" He changed his mind and walked over to Commander Tuvok. "Are your sexual practices as deviant as the humans?"
"Vulcans do not like to discuss such matters." Tuvok stared straight ahead.
"Ahh. That is a refreshing change. Tell me more."
Tuvok glanced at Chakotay, who smirked slightly, then spoke slowly and in a monotone. "We mate every seven years."
D'no looked surprised, then pleased. "Seven years. Most curious that you can serve with these humans. It is an admirable restraint." He turned to face Chakotay. "This Vulcan can command your ship through Boregian space. His remarkable restraint will help convince the authorities to permit your ship to continue without further interference."
Chakotay smiled. "I believe that will be acceptable. Commander?"
"It is a logical and expedient solution." Tuvok raised an eyebrow slightly--his only outward sign of distaste at this solution.
"Excellent," Commandant D'no said. "Now," he clasped his hand on Tuvok's shoulder. "Now, you can show me around your ship."
Chakotay waited until the inspector had left before contacting Kathryn. As expected, she was not pleased with this turn in events.
But it was Tom who pointed out the obvious. "Gees, every seven years. If the Boregians ever discover the truth, we're in deep...ummm...trouble."
Commandant D'no stood at attention as the general read his final report on the Voyager problem. With only the occasional grunt, the general was ignoring him. Several time D'no thought to interrupt--but considering how close this entire incident had been to a fiasco--he waited.
The general finally looked up. "They are gone?" There was a bit of a sigh in his voice.
"They will have left Boregian space in three hours and twenty two minutes, sir."
"Excellent. I shall notify the president. I believe we can consider this crisis adverted. Excellent work, commandant."
"Thank-you, sir." D'no paused. "Sir, off the record." The general nodded. "I've heard that our females have heard about the Voyager sexual practices--and there is great curiosity."
"I know, the guild mistress has added....ummm...Yes, I've heard the same rumors. We shall consider them rumors."
D'no almost smiled. Even the general was a widower and allowed such luxuries--that he had selected the guild-mistress could be scandalous if others heard.
Despite the fact that Erwo was his own sister, D'no had tried several times to interpret Boregian law in such a way to have her arrested. He suspected the judges were her clients as well.
"Dismissed, commandant. And I would think that there might even be a promotion involved." D'no made a snappy about face before he let the elation he felt show.
Maybe this would please his own wife enough that she would stop pestering him for information on these deviant alien sexual practices.
Whatever they were...
"Captain," Harry said with authority, and more than a little glee. "We shall be crossing the Boregian border in less than seven minutes."
She smiled at that. "Excellent news, Ensign. Bridge to astrometrics."
Seven's voice responded. "Yes, Captain?"
"The analysis of this new region of space?"
"It is heavily populated by four different species. The Borg have had minimal contact with species three-two four-five..."
"Captain," Harry said. "We're being hailed. It's Boregian."
Janeway muttered something. "Location?" The viewscreen flickered and a small ship appeared. "Who?"
"Boregian female," Harry said...
"Ignore her," Chakotay cut in. "Head for that border."
"Yes, sir...Captain...There are six cloaked Boregian vessels on an intercept course..."
"Red-alert," Janeway called out. "Paris, increase speed to warp-eight..." As she spoke the six vessels decloaked.
"Captain Janeway," D'no's face appeared on the screen. "We meet again. Your ship will be confiscated for this final violation..." His eyes opened wide as he read his own screen. "Marvay?"
The female Boregian spoke. "D'no?"
"What in Boragas are you doing here?"
The voice simpered. "You promised me information on their sexual practices..."
The image D'no glanced at Janeway, then back at his console. "I did no such thing..."
"Captain," Tuvok said. "Someone is trying to access our database..."
Janeway came close to throwing her arms up in the air and ordering Voyager to anihilate all the ships..."Which ship?"
"A still cloaked vessel hiding in the gravity well of the larger Boregian vessel," Tuvok said. Harry cut in with his own observation.
"The ship seems to match the configuration of the earlier vessel we met...Er--something or other's ship."
Most interesting, she decided. She started to open the channel and advise D'no, but stopped. "Ensign Paris, would you have a copy of the Kama Sutra in your files?"
Paris's face turned a bright red, and there was some snickering from others on the bridge. He stammered. "I believe there is a copy in the computer."
She rolled her eyes. "Ensign Kim, send Erwo's ship a copy..."
"Aye, aye, captain."
"And now, Ensign Paris, duck under this mess, and get us the Hell out of here. Warp nine."
The last view of a Boregian was D'no's stunned face as they crossed the border.
Chakotay leaned over and whispered, "I wouldn't have thought you would know about that..." He winked.
Chakotay leaned back in his chair with a contented groan. "That was excellent, Kathryn. Where did you learn to do that?"
She laughed as she tossed the sponge at him. "Let's say I've had a good teacher."
"Why thank-you..."
"I wasn't referring to you." She ducked quickly to avoid the same blue sponge that he tossed back. It landed in her chair. She stared at it, then picked it. "Though, this is the part I dislike. Starfleet has yet to design an effective clean-up service...The automated one tends to treat silverware as garbage..." She fingered the sponge before tossing it in the recycler. "And that reminds me, you were responsible for dessert. Chocolate?"
It was his turn to laugh. "Me?"
"Man you are full of yourself. I like chocolate before you..." She grinned wickedly. "It gives me extra energy."
He really started laughing. "Then I shall replicate my mother's secret recipe for chocolate oblivion...Or would, except it is secret. But I've programmed in a pretty good imitation."
"Sounds heaven..." She sat down and leaned back, then looked at him expectantly. "I hear chocolate is better than sex..."
"Oh, really..." Whatever comment he was going to make was cut off by the lights blinking and the alarms sounding.
She jumped up. "Oh...We can't leave together. The crew might get the wrong idea..."
"Kathryn? It's a red alert and we weren't doing anything..." He took her arm. "We need to find out what is going on..."
The doors swooshed open to chaos. The automatic fire suppressant system had activated. White foam was everywhere.
Susan and B'Elanna glanced around the airponics bay several times before Tom grabbed B'Elanna's arm and practically pulled her toward the blankets and a strange container.
"P'tak," B'Elanna growled as she pulled herself free. "What is this?" She straightened her red pullover.
"A picnic," Tom said with a dramatic wave of his hand. Food, good company, more food...and..." He paused as he walked over to the strange container. "And..." Here Harry started a drumroll. "A barbecue."
"A barbecue? OK, Helmboy, I give. What's that?" She sniffed several times when he took the lid off. "Mmmm."
"I picked up some extra replicator rations," Tom said, "and decided we needed a treat."
"Extra?" Susan asked as she took Terry's hand. "More like a raking. I still want to know how you proved..."
Before she could finish, the klaxons sounded and the computer's voice said in a logical monotone, "Warning, fire in the airponic bay. Emergency lock-down progressing. Thirty seconds before the doors seal."
They all bolted to the doors, making it with seconds to spare...
Only to discover the fire suppressant system had been activated in the corridors. B'Elanna shouted something, threw Tom into the thickest part, then tore open a control panel. Harry worked beside her, singing.
"I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain..."
Captain Janeway studied the five members of her crew. She enjoyed watching them squirm under her intense gaze. They deserved to feel uncomfortable. Of all the damn things they could have done, trying to torch her ship was not one of their best ideas.
Tom started to speak, but a quick glare silenced him, but also brought her focus to him. "Your idea, ensign?" She emphasized his rank.
"Yes, ma'm." She flinched slightly, but decided now was not the time to discuss protocol.
"Ahhh. And the fire?"
"Not a fire, Captain. We were cooking meat."
"Hmmm. It involved fire though?"
"Yes, Captain. But Captain, I made sure the sensors in the airponics bay would not be activated."
"I see. Just the rest the ship. Susan?"
Nicolleti squirmed a bit more than the others, and Janeway wondered if perhaps she should let the woman sit down.
"Captain. The others were my guests, they had no idea what I was doing until they arrived." Tom shrugged slightly, the only thing that broke his perfect attention-stance.
"This is correct?" She asked the others and not surprised when they didn't respond. "Lieutenant Torres?"
"Captain, I did help with the sensors...But Captain, there was another problem..." Torres almost seemed to smile. "It seems that our modification to the sensors aggravated an earlier modification. The two together caused...well..."
It took all of her self-control, but Janeway did not react. Perhaps there had been another modification to the sensors, besides the one that had caused the ones in her section to burn-out. "I shall have Commander Tuvok perform an diagnostic. Lieutenant Torres you will assist. You're dismissed. Umm. Ensign Paris, remain where you are."
The others cast Tom baleful looks as they marched out. She could almost hear their sighs of relief. She reached for the small item on her desk. "I hear you recently--" She tried to pick a good descriptive word. "--earned some extra rations. A substantial amount." She held up the item. "Do you recognize this?"
He relaxed slightly as he took the small item. "Naomi is dressing her doll to look like Seven?"
Janeway shook her head. "Apparently the Doctor replicated some Rillaran fabric. Well, this is the outfit he made for Seven...She was wearing it when...When the fire suppressant systems were activated..."
Tom's eyebrows went straight into his hairline. "Wow."
"She is not pleased. I suspect that substantial pile of rations would go a long way in placating many of the crewmembers who lost items of sentimental value."
"Understood." She took the small piece of clothing back. "Next time you want to burn meat, please seek proper authorization..."
"Aye, Captain." He relaxed a bit more. "I wonder if that other modification had anything to do with the burned out sensors from a couple of weeks ago..."
"Dismissed ensign. You have reparations to make." She watched him leave before sitting on her desk and looking at Chakotay. "You were quiet."
"Just being wallpaper. You did that very well, even if you were kind" She laughed.
"Captain!" Neelix called out. "Wait up!"
She sighed as she stopped and turned. "Yes?"
"It's been five weeks since we left Boregian space. I thought another party..."
"No, I think not," Janeway said. "What are you wearing?" She continued staring at his bright orange and purple robe.
"Oh, I spilled coraftra on my work clothes..." He spun around. "I love the colors in this. I found the cloth on Elonga Beta a year ago."
She blinked. "It is bright..."
He cocked his head. "Seven said the same thing. The party?"
She shook her head. "We can't have a party to celebrate every minor and major event."
Neelix whimpered, then smiled. "Well, then as chief morale officer, I need to find something else to keep morale high. Did you and the Commander, well, you know..."
She coughed hard. "What?"
"There are many...I'm sure Captain, you would not be surprised to learn there are many bets riding on your answer..."
"I...umm...thought that was where Tom won all those rations..." She narrowed her eyes and glared at him.
"No," Neelix said. "Those were from the pool about Commandant D'no's wife..." He coughed several times, then looked around the corridor--she followed his example. There was no one about.
"Well, I need that information--or remember that bright lavender outfit with green stripes?"
She nodded in growing horror then stared. Neelix's robe lay round his feet.
"You're kidding?" Was the very first thing B'Elanna said when she heard. Tom's grin just grew bigger. It was Harry who confirmed the story.
B'Elanna started to giggle as she picked over the electronic devices on the Xonqan's display. "Harry, test these for compatibility," she managed to say between giggles. "She didn't confine him to his quarters?"
"No...Actually she was in shock when Chakotay found her standing there, I don't know, maybe fifteen minutes later," Tom said as he looked at another display table. "If the Xonqan governor hadn't been trying to reach her, she might still be standing there."
"I just can't believe it was Neelix...You or even Fred, but Neelix?" B'Elanna put the little device back in the case, disappointed it wasn't what she needed.
"Well, it isn't as if he was completely...well..." Tom's grin managed to grow bigger. "Undressed. He was wearing this skimpy bright lavender thing-a-ma-bob with green stripes." Tom tried to show where or more accurately what it had and hadn't covered" And did you know Talaxians have theirs right here..." He again demonstrated with his hands.
B'Elanna glanced at the Xonqan shopkeeper, who was politely pretending to mind his own business. "Tom, we shouldn't be airing our dirty laundry in public..."
"We wouldn't be, if Neelix hadn't been wearing his..." Harry grinned as he placed a anno-dura-battery-cell near the shopkeeper.
"Good choice," was all the shopkeeper said as he went back to pretending not to listen.
B'Elanna chuckled. "I don't think I'll be able to eat a leola root again."
"I couldn't believe that Jenny used it as a model for..." Tom started laughing hard. "Well, you know."
"We know all too well," B'Elanna cut in. "I think I know far more than I ever wanted to know." She placed the equarium resistor on the counter. "What did Janeway said?"
"It was bright..." Harry tossed her a tricorder. "I believe Chakotay is bringing her to the surface. He's hoping that some fresh air might do her some good."
"It was bright?" She scanned several more electronic items, before selecting four more.
"It was bright, she repeated it several times."
"Not his???"
"No," Tom cut in. "I think Jenny is right on this one. The robe he'd been wearing."
B'Elanna's eyes widened. "I saw him in that. You mean he might have...Kahless, the P'tak..."
The shopkeeper chuckled quietly as he started to add up their totals.
#
Kathryn looked around the fruitstands and took a deep breath. The smells were lovely and fresh. And the colors subdued. Nothing bright, orange or lavender. She shuddered slightly.
Chakotay took her arm. "He's not here...Neelix has sworn he'll never do it again."
"I'm all right. It was just a shock..."
"I can only imagine." Chakotay guided her over to a stand. He selected a large white with pale blue lines flower for her, then negotiated with the small Xonqan female. Janeway sniffed it and smiled.
"It's lovely," she whispered. "Thanks."
He grinned as they continued on their way. Neelix and his shopping group would be beaming down in a couple of hours to buy food supplies. They wouldn't be here. Neelix was confined to his quarters for the next week, except for conducting ship's business--and cooking. No one ever wanted to volunteer to be his replacement.
"Icro soaloat tybe!" Someone shouted. The next thing he knew a dainty pink fruit was flattened against the back of his head. He turned, and found himself plastered with a lovely chartreuse vegetable.
Kathryn giggled, but stopped when a brownish yellow orange-like object hit her in the back. "What the Hell!"
Chakotay tapped his comm-badge. "Chakotay to Voyager, two to beam-out. NOW!"
He was hit twice in the amount of time it took for the transport to be initiated. The very shocked ensign eyed the creamish liquid that ran down the commander's forehead curiously.
Janeway reached up an wiped the juice with her finger. Then she carefully licked it off. "Mmmmm..." She repeated the motion. "Very good..." Chakotay responded by repeating the motion on her. She giggled--but the fruit was definitely tasty.
He leaned over and used his tongue on her neck.
The poor, but even more shocked ensign ran out of the transporter room...
Before I begin, I wish to dedicate this chapter and the rest in the arc to Brannon Braga. I don't think I would have thought of this if I hadn't read a spoiler...But don't worry, this has absolutely nothing to do with the episode which this spoiler spoiled.
B'Elanna grabbed Tom's arm and pulled him roughly to a stop. "I will not take one more step toward that awful smell. Just what have you done?"
Tom laughed. "Done? Come and see."
She snorted. The smell was definitely bad. Ammonia and some others. "Kahless, what kind of place is this?"
"We just spent four hours negotiating for little electronic devices for the ship..."
"We?" B'Elanna laughed. "Harry and I did. You disappeared three hours ago. Just what in Kahless's name were you doing?"
He took three steps and turned. With his finger he motioned for her to follow. She crossed her eyes and glared.
"I bought something...I need your help getting it on the ship..."
"Just ask them to transport it for you...Not so difficult, Helmboy."
"Ummmm. Be...It's a lot more complicated than that. Come..."
She wondered what kind of stunt Tom was pulling now as she followed him. Her suspicions grew as they rounded a corner. The smell and noise was overwhelming.
"Please, Tom," she shouted. "Tell me you didn't!"
He grinned. "But I did. Think of it. Steak, hamburger, ribs..." His look became ecstatic. "I just need to get her on the ship without the Captain knowing."
"Or Tuvok, or Chakotay, or..."
"I get the picture. That's where you come in."
"Me? Tom..." She growled.
"Who else can I count on." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I need to beam her to shuttle bay 4. It's unused. I've got some fencing materials..."
"Food..."
Tom nodded. "Just a couple of days worth...We'll...well..."
B'Elanna frowned. She was actually considering helping the P'tak, but he was right. A good steak would definitely appease her Klingon side. "I'll do it...I'll need to beam aboard first. I can arrange the transport and contact you. Give me ten minutes."
"I knew you would. You won't regret it..."
Then why did she have a bad feeling about this? TBC
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