"It will be." Tom's grin grew as he ran his hand over the four-legged creatures back. The animal turned her head and blinked, then started to rub against the fence. She was big--almost as tall as B'Elanna and about as long too. The whole makeshift fence they'd put-up together started to vibrate.
"It had better be..." B'Elanna started to leave and froze as the docking bay door slid open.
Harry walked in and looked around. "Tom boy, just what are you up to this time?" Then he too froze. "A blue cow?"
"She's a trosttat. The Xonqan raise them for their meat. Harry, Harry, Harry...Steaks, hamburgers...and not the stuff the replicators create--the real thing..."
"And you know how to do this?" Harry glanced at B'Elanna who shook her head.
"Hey, it's in the database. It can't be that difficult." Tom patted the creatures head and walked toward his friends.
"If you say so." Harry smiled. "She kind of reminds me of those dairy cows at the Jersey Living History Center."
"Don't Harry..." Tom said with a warning tone. "She's only our guest for a couple of days...Then dinner..." He chuckled and licked his lips in anticipation.
"If the captain doesn't find out."
"She won't," Tom replied. "And speaking of which, how did you find out?"
Harry shrugged. "I had fifteen people to beam up and wondered about the three second delay. No one else noticed..." He sniffed. "You might want to reprogram the air filtration system..."
Both Tom and B'Elanna could smell what Harry was referring to. B'Elanna quickly did just that. "And Tom, the other might just go over well with Neelix for his gardens..." She winked as she spoke. "He'll find out soon enough..."
"Yep, Tom," Harry patted him on the shoulder. "Looks like the next couple of days you will be very busy. We'll think of something to tell Janeway. Steak?" He glanced at B'Elanna. "I think Neelix still has some fungus..."
She smiled. "Mmmm. Sounds good. I think I can find my mother's recipe for heart of targ...Might be able to adapt it." She waved at Tom as she left with Harry.
Tom groaned as they laughed just before the door closed behind them.
It had been inevitable Tom conceded when all was done, but when he'd brought the trosttat aboard, he'd been thinking about hamburgers and steaks.
So, when he woke early that first morning just to feed the creature, he was surprised, then horrified at the sight that met him.
"Naomi!"
The little girl smiled at him, then quickly pulled the plants she'd obviously borrowed from the aeroponics garden away from the blue cow-like creature. "Hi Uncle Tom. She's cute. What is she doing here?"
"Ummmm...Do you know what hamburger is?"
"Mom's replicated it a couple of times. It's okay."
Tom chuckled. "The replicated stuff really leaves a lot to be desired. I'm planning on getting the real thing..."
"Oh...and Daisy here will help you?"
Oh spirits, he groused to himself, she's named the damn thing. "Yes. I need to feed her, and get going. Promise me two things."
"Anything," Naomi said as she scratched *Daisy's* forehead. The creature gave a soft pleasant mewl like sound.
"Well, she's obviously very secret--so don't tell anyone--not even Neelix."
"Not Neelix?" The girl's eyes opened wide, then she nodded. "I promise."
"And please don't come here again." Tom tried to make the last not sound like begging--but he was pretty sure he'd failed.
"Why?"
"It's safer." For me, he added mentally.
"All right." She waved and the trosttat and glumly walked out. Tom sighed with relief. They would have to speed up their plans--he'd have to find some time to get the freezer he'd been working on in his quarters completed--it would be best if they did the deed tomorrow.
#
Disaster was inevitable.
Naomi Wildman, smart kid that she was, wondered just how Daisy would help Tom make hamburgers and after puzzling about this through her math lesson, she finally accessed the encyclopedia.
What she found horrified her. She tossed her PADDs and books on her bed and ran off to hide in astrometrics.
"Naomi Wildman, are you well?" Seven asked in a straight matter of fact voice that barely revealed her concern.
"No," the little girl wailed. "He's going to kill her."
At this Seven cocked her head. "He's going to kill her?"
"Yes!! I have to do something."
"He who?"
"Tom..."
"Tom's planning on murdering someone?"
"Yes," Naomi bellowed. "Daisy..." She bolted out the door.
Seven stared after her for two point five seconds before she contacted Commander Tuvok.
Tuvok stood there at parade rest while Seven recounted her tale of a terrified little girl. An occasional raised eyebrow was his only indication of any reaction to the story.
"Interesting," Tuvok said, when Seven had finished. "I do not know of any crewmember named Daisy."
"I do not either," Seven replied. "Humans sometimes use things called nicknames. It is possible that Daisy is a nickname."
"Possible. There are four Toms on the ship. Did she identify which Tom it was?"
"No she did not. But considering her familiarity with Ensign Paris, he would be a logical candidate."
Tuvok again raised an eyebrow. "Ensign Paris has been behaving oddly recently. Computer locate Naomi Wildman."
"Naomi Wildman is in her quarters."
Tuvok would question the girl further. Seven followed him out.
#
B'Elanna frowned as she looked around the empty docking bay. Well, almost empty. The fence and straw were still there, but there was no sign of the P'tak beast Tom had brought on board. She'd kill him.
"Torres to Paris," she snarled as she tapped her combadge. "You'd better get here real quick."
"Ummm. B'Elanna, this had better be important," came Tom's impatient voice.
"It is Helmboy. That damn..."
Tom cut her off. "I'm with the captain, can this wait."
"Kahless, no. Now, Tom..."
#
Janeway wondered about the strange conversation that had interrupted her discussion with Ensign Paris about pilot training. She raised an eyebrow as she recognized the fury in her chief-engineers voice and wondered just what Tom had done now. He shrugged slightly as he closed the conversation, then looked at her expectantly.
"Go ahead. We're almost done here," she said as she took a sip of coffee.
"Thanks Captain." She was really curious when Tom bolted out of her ready room.
"Commander Tuvok, to Captain Janeway."
"Janeway here. Commander?"
"We're unable to locate Naomi Wildman."
"Where are you?" She glanced at the door and frowned as he told her they were in the Wildman quarters on deck 8."
"I'll be right there."
#
Harry smiled slightly as he stood on his podium and looked over the small choir. "I see Seven is late." This puzzled him. The Doctor had dragged her to her first Voyager Glee Club rehearsal three months ago; since then she'd been a reliable member.
"I believe she was with Commander Tuvok," Susan said. "You said something about a new song?"
Harry's smile was positively wicked as he passed out the music.
Tom's eyes opened wide with shock as Commander Tuvok asked his next question. "Daisy?" He answered. "I don't know a Daisy..." Tuvok raised an eyebrow as his voice faded away. Daisy, wasn't that what...Tom's own eyes opened wide, before he could control his shock.
"Perhaps, ensign, the name does mean something to you?"
"No, sir," Tom said with a very militaristic tone. "Outside of a flower."
"I see." Tuvok narrowed his eyes slightly. Tom felt his stomach lurch. They had to find that accursed creature now! And then...Damn, he thought, he'd missed Tuvok's last question.
"Sir, would you mind repeating that?"
"I said, dismissed Ensign." Tom almost bolted.
"Well?" B'Elanna asked at the turbo-lift where she'd been waiting for him.
"Naomi...It's got to be Naomi."
"Great." She poked him in the ribs. "Nothing could go wrong?"
"B'Elanna, trust me. Did you get the scanners adjusted?"
"Yes, it took me longer than I expected. Harry's at rehearsal."
"Ah yes. Thursday night." He wrapped his arm around her waist. "Bring the Bat'leth. I'll need it."
"You're not still planning to...But Naomi..."
"Real hamburger and she'll forget." Tom grinned as he started thinking about steaks. "The scanner?"
She pushed a button, then swore quietly as she pushed it again.
Tom's eyes opened wide as the sound of singing filled the hall. "Hey, not bad...but that's...I'll KILL HIM..."
B'Elanna bent over she was laughing so hard.
#
Kathryn Janeway felt like splurging. And her third favorite way of splurging was chocolate. It ranked right up there with a nice soak in a tub and coffee...
No, she had to amend the list--recently she'd found something that really was an indulgence. Her smile grew as she remembered how...
She cocked her head. Singing? "Computer, is that singing?"
No response.
She listened closer.
#
Naomi handed Daisy another of the strange plants she'd found in Uncle Neelix's garden. He wouldn't mind, he had a lot of leola root plants and the crew didn't really like it anyway. She smiled as she tickled Daisy's forehead. "But you like them."
The creature mooed softly. Naomi crinkled her nose. "But you sure do smell." There was a soft plop behind the creature. Naomi had already discovered what that meant. Daisy had done that several times on her way to this hiding place.
"I bet they're looking for me." She patted the blue creature, then took the rope she'd used to lead it through the ship and tied it around one of the support pillars. "Be good, I'll sneak back here after mom says good night."
The creature bellowed as she walked away. "Shhh..." Naomi turned. "You have to be quiet. Please. Tom will murder you otherwise." She wondered if the Captain would let her have a pet. She would ask. Daisy was sweet and could probably be taught to do something. She kissed Daisy. "Anyway Harry promised me you would be all right."
#
Chakotay decided he'd had enough boxing for one evening, and decided to call it a night. "End program," he announced as he grabbed his sweats and towel. It had been a good work-out. Now he felt more than ready to tackle the yearly personnel reviews. He and Kathryn would start comparing notes in a couple of days. The holodeck doors swooshed open and he entered the corridor. He wiped his face with the towel. He could have showered in the holodeck--but he preferred the sonic shower in his own quarters. He had finally managed to get the settings exactly the way he liked them. He really wasn't paying much attention, except to avoid any crewmember that might pass. His thoughts were definitely elsewhere--and it wasn't on the personnel reviews. He stepped, there was a soft squishing sound and he found himself flying off his feet and landing on his rear.
"What the hell?" He mumbled as he pushed himself into a sitting position. And just what was that smell?
And to increase his curiosity, just why was someone playing music over the speakers?
#
Neelix couldn't understand why the diners in the messhall were laughing. Sure it was a weird song, but he didn't see why it was funny. He tapped Samantha Wildman on the shoulder. "Why is it funny?"
Samantha laughed harder as she tried to explain. She finally managed to bring her mirth under control. "You see, Ensign Kim decided that..." She started laughing again.
Neelix nodded. It was so clear...
He shook his head. Humans.
He listened as the Voyager Glee Club sang the strange song for the last time:
Blue moo, I see you standing there alone
Blue moo, yoo didn't know just what yoo were there for
Without a chance in the world
Without a home of your own
But we heard you saying a prayer for
Someone you hadn't even met yet
And then suddenly appeared before yoo
Someone who never could hope to hold yoo.
I heard somebody whisper, I'll save yoo
And when yoo looked, the moo had turned yoo
Blue moo, now you're no longer alone,
Without a heart to even dream for,
Without a life or your own.
Harry smiled as he cut the transmission and dismissed the glee club. Ever since he'd met the blue moo, as he thought of that lovely creature with the doe eyes, he'd known he had to find a way to save her. Then Naomi had become hysterical about Daisy.
"Where the Hell is she," Tom said angrily.
Harry spun around. "What?"
"My beef. Harry, Harry, Harry." He was glaring--B'Elanna must have given Tom angry lessons.
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
"You don't? But the song..."
"Oh come on Tom--it was a joke. Practically everybody on this ship knew about her. But...she's missing? Naomi..."
"Yes, she's missing...Practically everybody? Including Janeway?" He visibly sank into the ground.
"I don't think so."
"She doesn't know what?" A voice from behind Tom said.
Tom almost disappeared into the ground (or at least looked like he wanted to). "Captain. A nice evening isn't it."
"I wouldn't know. I have a hysterical little girl. Who, by the way, accused you of wanting to kill someone and is now missing. And of course there's Sam, who's been worried about Naomi. Then, to top it off, I have one very furious First Officer. Seems he landed in what he called a cow pie." She glanced at Harry, then cast her glare back on Tom. "And for some reason the first person I thought of was you. I'm waiting for an explanation." She placed her hands on her hips.
"Ummm. Captain..."
"Last time I checked, that was me." Her expression darkened more.
"Ummm..." Tom glanced at Harry, who simply shrugged and tried to walk away.
"Not so fast ensign. That song seems to indicate you knew."
Harry would kill Tom, if she (and he wasn't sure if he meant Janeway or B'Elanna) didn't do it first.
"I was tired of replicated meat, Captain. I've spent a great many hours and replicator rations trying to create something that was less tough and stringy."
She raised an eyebrow, then shook her head. "Voyager is not a barn. I hope you kept the receipt, because we are presently returning to Xonqa. Where you will ask for your money back..."
"Captain..." Tom sighed. "Yes, Ma'am." She picked up something on a long stick and handed it to the pilot. "Captain?"
"It's a shovel ensign. I need you, Lieutenant Torres, and Ensign Kim to clean up this ship. There are buckets and sponges in the corridor. Should you survive the night, we'll discuss the rest of your punishment tomorrow. Now, I need to find and reassure a little girl." She turned and marched out.
Tom leaned against his shovel. "She's going to kill me..."
Harry slapped him on the shoulder. "Don't worry old buddy. B'Elanna will wait."
"I know, that's what worries me." He handed Harry the shovel. "I don't suppose you'll tell her?"
Harry laughed. "Me? I've always wanted to live to a ripe old age."
"Oh well." He tapped his combadge. "Hey, B'Elanna guess what?"
"This had better be good, Helmboy."
"It isn't. Meet Harry and I on deck five. Have I got a surprise for you."
Harry shook his head and started to hum his masterpiece.
"Oh, shut-up Harry. I don't need any reminding." Harry smiled. He wondered if Janeway realized that Daisy had vanished.
Naomi Wildman's day was getting worse. First she'd learned that the beautiful creature she'd met was destined for Tom's stomach, then she'd stolen the creature. Now, everybody was looking for her and she was too scared to come out of her hiding place. She would be safe here, until Seven returned.
"Naomi Wildman! What are you doing here?" Naomi wiped her eyes and turned.
"Hello, Seven. Would you like to play a game?"
Seven did a masterful imitation of a Vulcan. "I think not. Your mother is worried and most of the crew is looking for you."
"I didn't mean to make anyone worry. Really. I just wanted to save Daisy. So I..."
"Where is she?" Seven asked.
"Someplace safe. I won't tell, until I know she'll be safe."
#
Meanwhile:
Captain Janeway waited patiently for the Xonqan minister to be wakened. Or rather she looked patient, her foot tapped occasionally and she still had an overwhelming urge to toss Ensign Paris out an airlock.
"Ah, Captain Janka..."
"Janeway, Mr. Minister."
"Ah yes. Is there a problem."
"Just a minor one," she responded, then motioned toward Tom. "It seems our luckless pilot bought a trostatt. Well, he'd like to return it."
"Very good. I can arrange it. I'll have an inspector from the ag department meet with you. You'll need the purchase record, bill of sale, the health record, the domestic animal record..."
Janeway watched as Tom's face fell with each record. "You said you kept the receipt," she whispered.
"I did. But I don't have any of the other records."
"I see," the minister said. "Then there is nothing I can do. My guess is your pilot bought an illegal animal. If you wish we can get him his money back after we arrest and prosecute the dealer."
"That's all right," Janeway said. "Perhaps we can arrange to sell her?"
"I'm sorry, Captain, but without the paperwork she cannot be brought down to the planet surface."
"Oh." She figured that airlock was looking real good about now. Tom must have guessed her thoughts, as he inched away. The screen went blank.
"Now..." She placed her hands on her hips. "You have a problem."
"I know how to solve..."
"I think not, Ensign. Naomi Wildman has suffered enough."
Tom nodded sadly.
"Captain," Tuvok said from his station. "I have a suggestion. The trostatt is not native to Xonqa. Perhaps we can release her on her own world?"
"An admirable alternative," she said. "As always. Tom?"
"I'll contact the planet library and find out."
"Excellent. Inform me as soon as you have completed this task. I'll want a complete report tomorrow morning. Then I'll inspect the ship. Make sure it's properly cleaned. And to meet Daisy." She allowed herself a little smile at the look of panic that passed over Tom's eyes. She knew that Daisy was missing. She even knew where Naomi had hidden her. It was also obvious Tom didn't know.
He would be cleaning the Delta Flyer for the next few weeks to get the smell out.
The trostat home planet was fortunately not to far off their course to the Alpha-Quadrant. After a mere 24 hours, Voyager had arrived. Harry smiled as Tom tossed the sponge in the bucket as he stood. "Never, ever, have kids," Tom said grinning.
Harry shrugged. "It might be as wise never to keep a trostatt in the Delta-Flyer."
"True." Suddenly Tom laughed. "I went to all this for a non-existent hamburger. And in two hours I have to let her go."
"Tom boy, have you ever considered how many of your plans go awry?"
"Too many." Tom stared at his friend. "And you always seem to be right there..."
"Coincidence." Harry chuckled. "I have rehearsal in a couple of minutes--I'll see you in two hours."
"Ahh, so you are attending the ceremonies?"
"Wouldn't miss it..." Harry's grin grew practically wicked.
"I was afraid of that...And stop whistling that song." Tom plugged his ears to block the sound of Blue Moo. "Or I won't let you visit my new holodeck program."
"Too late," Harry said as he started to leave. "The Doctor wants the glee club to sing O Danny Boy at the inaugural opening."
"Does he now. Wait until he finds out I made him a priest."
"He's looking forward to it." Harry waved as he left the docking bay.
#
Naomi wrapped her arms around Daisy's neck. "Bye Daisy," she whispered. "At least Tom won't eat you."
Tom sighed as he pulled the girl off the blue cow. "She'll be fine..." They'd found a herd of other trostatts and with Voyager now on the planet's surface it was up to him--and the crowd who'd gathered--to release the creature near her own kind. He glanced suspiciously at Harry and the glee club, fervently hoping they would not sing "Blue moo..." He closed his mouth quick as he realized that he was singing.
The outer doors opened and he lead a nervous Daisy toward the outside world. As she stepped onto the gangplank, the Voyager Glee Club started to sing:
"Born Free, as free as the wind blows..."
Tom closed his eyes, trying to decide just how he'd get his revenge. His attention wasn't on the cow, who suddenly butted him sending flying off his feet and landing on his rear.
He'd never live this down...