By Benjamin Darling
(Chronicle Books)
Taking into account the ever-burning and inherently human desire to enshrine and worship all that which is retro, it was only a matter of time before some clever individual felt the celestial spark and transformed his kitschy record collection into an über-groovy mini-coffee table book. Such is Vixens of Vinyl, an exploration of the delicious divas, the mod mamas, and the hep honeys that once reigned supreme in the record stores of yore.
And the ladies are lovely. The brilliant, Technicolor lips, the penetrating eyes—and we’re talking pre-computer retouching technology here, too! The dazzling outfits and preciously dated coiffures. Let’s not forget the obligatory cleavage and swingin’ hips; after all, that’s what got all of those hormonally raging, pubescent kiddies into Lawrence Welk in the first place, right? Benjamin Darling’s prose is endearing and witty, with a delicious beatnik quality. One gets the feeling that he has analyzed the phenomenon of what he calls “Vixenism” far too deeply for his own health, but that is to the advantage of the reader, naturally. For example, on the subject of The Lifestyle of the Vixen, he waxes, “When a vixen wakes up in the afternoon, she rolls off her satin sheets, slips on a semitransparent silk dressing gown, and lights a cigarette. The vixen will generally spend her days lounging on the divan, talking on the telephone, or, most preferably, being held in the arms of her paramour.” Darling’s mania is almost tangible.
However, the real meat and bones of this little hardback are the LP covers themselves. Darling carefully arranges over 100 sleeves to illustrate the evolution of the vinyl vixen over the years. The history begins with the innocent, Angora-clad sock-hopper and ends with the scandalously nude, exotic and erotic fantasy queen. In between, pseudo-celebrity cover girls like Jayne Mansfield and Bridget Bardot catfight over the limelight, and an entire chapter is devoted to Sandy Warner, whom Darling coronates “the Blarney stone of vixenism.”
Finally, no collection of campy record covers would be complete without Herb Alpert’s Whipped Cream & Other Delights, the undisputed quintessentially cheesy sleeve (consult the record racks of your local thrift store—by federal mandate all used record bins must contain at least three copies at all times).
Hit the mood lights, baby!
For more info, check out the Chronicle Books site.
By Casey Lombardo
Long Beach Union
Originally printed 4.23.01
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