Prayers of Death

To hear my very voice sounding so sincere
As I wish for my own death, my bedside near.
Bringing tears to my eyes, and filling my soul with fear
Hearing my mother’s inquiring voice behind my door
As I try to tell…her to ask no more.
Attempting to calm my shaking voice…
As if I have any other choice,
I feel so trapped now in the corner of my room
Curled up pitifully waiting for my own doom

Scary thoughts constantly running through my mind
Peace is something my soul shall never find.
Constantly feeling so out of place,
Wanting to take a knife to my ugly face.
Squeezed in a corner holding my knees to my chest,
Not wanting to do what I know is best.
If I ended my life now…lying bloody on my bedroom floor
My only fear at all would be…
That after my death…how many people would truly miss me?
But even though I have no doubt there’ll be none, it still doesn’t stop me
doing what must be done.

So what is stopping me from slowly sliding the knife across my neck?
Is it the fear of being totally forgotten?
Am I even known at all now?
Really…I don’t have anything stopping me…
So just incase I’m no longer here tomorrow…
I don't wish to cause anyone sorrow,
So as I bid my final goodbye’s today…
I do not say a word as to what’s to follow that day
Even though I deep down know…that it means nothing to them...
...It’s just my time to go.


Poetry Main