I must get a job.  I need to maintain my Australian lifestyle.  This can not be done in the windswept misery of a North Western European  climate.  Just not possible.  Take breakfast.  In fair Ireland, you have a bowl of cornflakes, a slice or two of toast, and a cuppa.  This is considered a good, nutritious and tasty breakfast.  Here I have pineapple, three types of melon, cherries, strawberries, grapes, 'nanas, pears, an assortment of nuts, and perhaps a bit of toast/crackers with a selection of cheeses.  And a 1/4 gallon of tea.  Fantastic.

The whole fruit business is just grand.  Being brought up to think that fruit was either an apple or an orange (well, maybe a 'nana) gave me a fairly blinkered opinion to "Nature's Winegums".  I went wandering around the supermarket today buying fruit.  I decided I was going to asses each type of fruit one by one.  I took a bit of every type of fruit, unless I could think of a really good reason not to.  Lemon's were the first to go.  I have no business eating lemons.  Oranges were next, as I can get all the goodness in convenient orange juice format.  Then came apples.  "Fuck apples!", I said.  "You green little bastards have been holding me back for long enough.  I now know there is another way.  I can eat fruit that tastes good!  I have seen the light!  Never again will I eat poxy fuckin' apples!  Except in pie/tart/strudel form!".  Then I was asked to leave the store.