Domestic Violence Before reading this you should know that in Markley Hall there was a sign consisting of four one-word pieces of paper that together read "Domestic Violence Awareness Month." Upon seeing this I decided to add some subtle humor to the situation by ripping off the word "Awareness." That sign boasted that it was Domestic Violence Month for a good week or two before somebody realized that it was telling everyone to go on a wife-punching spree. Then, alas, someone added the word "Awareness" back. Unfortunately for them, I'm sure everyone who read that sign in the lobby had already decided to kick a woman in the face to get into the spirit of things. And then Domestic Violence Month tragically ended. And here is a UROP (Undergraduate Research Oppurtunity Program) journal I wrote about domestic violence for a friend. Be sure to note the fact that I haven't matured at all since high school. Domestic violence is a problem that has plagued the trashier parts of America for years and years. Researching this topic would be easy. Simply turn on Cops. Whenever the police bust some guy in a wifebeater for selling dope there is always some abused lady coming out of the trailer with a black eye and a swollen lip complaining about her husband “ain’t nothin’ but a slob.” One could interview this bruised beauty and ask her how domestic violence has ruined her life and the majority of her face. Aside from interviewing the lady from Cops wearing the “I’m With Stupid” shirt, one could visit a focus group. In these groups, battered wives and husbands (well, mostly wives) get together and discuss how they are recovering from the damage their unloving lovers have bestowed upon their busted lips. Here, there is often a mediator there to allow each of them to open up and hit each other in the faces with foam baseball bats. This is called “venting.” After enough “venting,” these battered ladies can go home and chill out and maybe watch Friends or something. One thing that contributes to domestic violence is Budweiser. This particular brand of beer encourages men to go out late and treat their women like trifling hoes, which they are not. Other brands of beer preach respect for wives, so it’s only Budweiser that is the problem there. Also, rap music helps encourage men to punch women in the face. Rap music contains lyrics such as “I beat my b*tch with a stick.” Clearly a man cannot love his wife if he is bludgeoning her with a pole of some sort. Also, I have noticed that a posting board in Markley hall is telling all of us to jump on the domestic violence bandwagon! I am well aware that it is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. However, the sign only says that it is “Domestic Violence Month.” Where is the word “Awareness”? Without that word, I am confused. Should I hit my girlfriend with a baseball bat to be festive or what? One suggestion to fix this domestic violence problem would be fix that gosh darn sign in Markley. We could also rid the world of those wacky Budweiser commercials in which Kid Rock is tricking some guy into treating his girlfriend very poorly. Finally, rap music could undergo a massive facelift. Every time a rapper uses reference to violence he should have to hug his wife without strangling her. That way, even if he is saying naughty things, deep down he will be loving his wife, not kicking her. And that is why domestic violence sucks.