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The ballpark frank has been an integral part of the baseball experience. Most, if not all, baseball fans could not imagine going to a Tigers game without hot dogs. In fact, nobody can even imagine going to a Tigers game. The Tigers are a horrible, horrible baseball team. Other baseball stadiums that are able to attract fans, however, rely on delicious hot dogs to turn a profit. Unfortunately for them and their money, an evil organization known as PETA plans to stop their plans of making money so they can feed their children. PETA stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. If they were smarter, they would change their name to People Ending Tasty Appetizers. PETA does not want people to eat animals or use animal products. An intelligent person should know that PETA is wrong with this opinion and that members of PETA most likely eat their boogers. Animal products such as milk should be consumed because they are delicious and not putting America at risk. The American milk industry has played a role in America's economy for a long time. PETA preaches to people with fun facts against the milk industry such as "products made from cow's milk are far from 'natural' for humans and anything but humane for cows and their calves" (Milk 1). An accurate translation of this statement would be "Whine whine don't drink milk whine whine. I didn't go to prom with anybody because I'm ugly. Whine." Saying that milk is not natural for humans is like complaining to the Gap because clothes are not natural for humans, either. Using PETA's logic, which shall be referred to as "pure stupidity", one could say that humans were not born in clothes, so wearing them must not be natural Milk is obviously not killing anybody on a daily basis and the animals that create it are not dying as soon as the gentle farmer touches their udders with his milking machine. The webmaster of Anti-Peta.com says, "In order to produce milk I must have animals that are happy and healthy" (Anti-PETA 3). Why would this man make his cows happy so he could do something inhumane to his animal friends? PETA also believes that milk cows are given little living space. In one report, PETA states, "At least half of the 10 million cows kept for milk in the United States live on factory farms in conditions that cause tremendous suffering to the animals" (Milk 2). Could a cow that undergoes tremendous suffering still produce an optimum amount of milk? Clearly the myth that PETA mentions occurs only in a world where miserable cows give evil farms an infinite amount of milk. The Anti-PETA.com webmaster retorted to PETA's blatantly ignorant lies with, "It would be against our best interest to intentionally cause stress on our animals" (Anti-PETA 1). Once again, PETA is lying to the common man so people give PETA money so they can buy tofu shoes or something equally animal-safe and pointless. From a logical perspective, PETA's stance on animal treatment is not well thought out. On their website, PETA is quoted with saying, "Animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on or use for entertainment." A perspective such as this would mean that cancer research would have to be done with either beautiful roses or live people. Both of those options would result in flower activists to start staining our floors with their bleeding hearts or an angry mob to beat up whoever gave a healthy man cancer so they could do research. Also, the food chain is a basic principle used by the animals being defended. Bigger animals eat smaller animals and smaller animals eat plants. What would happen if the bigger animals started protesting for the rights of the smaller ones? The smaller ones would become overpopulated If they were as liberally stupid as the bigger animals then they would form an organization for plant rights. The plants would then do nothing because plants can not form organizations. This would leave all animals with nothing to eat but their own boogers (as previously mentioned) and maybe some deep-broiled rocks. PETA does not promote life by condemning the food chain that natural life is founded upon. All in all, PETA has proven itself to be run by a bunch of unintelligent gorilla-human hybrids with serious birth defects. If animals are not eaten, humans will have to eat other things, such as grass and soil. Suddenly abandoning the dairy and meat industries would mean ruining the American economy and sabotaging the worldwide trade. PETA wishes to destroy all humans and they should be executed with extreme prejudice. 
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