A rating scale has been developed at the Institute to
determine the information carrying capacity of these
structures. A zero rating, one in which it is obvious
to the trained observer that every nuance of the
gibberishers art has come into play, is rarely
observed and then usually in the context of a
politicians "sound bite" format.
An outright lie is not gibberish, it is an attempt to communicate falsehoods. The best lies are never true gibberish, this would denature the entire intent of the gibberishers role, which is not to present false information, rather to present no information.
Gibberish is not gobbledygook, gibberish has to sound right, it must be patently clear to the layman that the practitioner is trying very hard to say something important, but that the receiver is not capable of understanding the complexities of the subject.
Some practitioners attempt to short cut the disinformation process by throwing in totally decontextualized Latin, French or even Russian phrases, this is the cheap way out and not appropriate for the professional. It lowers the bar, and we at the Institute can only decry these attempts at a shorcut to faux dissemination. Pure gibberish can stand on its own merit, it does not need a "foreign" crutch.
Poor spelling is no replacement for the proper word
totally misused. It makes the practitioner look ill
educated and boorish, as if he did not care enough
about his audence to go to the trouble of using a
spell checker. A gibberisher must seem to care
intensely about his audience, and go to great lengths,
even to repeating himself or rephrasing his ideas in
other and more complex structures, which, done
properly, will be interpreted as attempts to simplify
the ideas presented, thereby denigrating his audience
even more when they are not able to comprehend.
In the past, improperly trained practitioners have attempted an end run at gibberish by actually communicating a fact in one sentence, then presenting an obvious counter fact in the next sentence and continuing in this vein. While this may achieve some of the desired goals in receptor confusion, it cannot be condoned as proper practice. A pure gibberisher is careful to never present a fact which requires internal counter argument.
Best practice should result in an audience which has no idea that they have been discommunicated to professionally until the seminar is over, the floor questions put, the coffee served and they are in the car heading home. This is the only truly satisfactory result.
G. Bufflehead, Ph.G.
Dean, Instructional Psycharomatherapy-Seminar Heading
Instruction Techniques
A Division of the Professional Institute of Gibberish
(pd)