A human's needs for a good life are his/her human rights. - - Mortimer Adler

1. to feel free of the dead past, including the identity you had one minute ago. Accept its death--continuously.
2. to feel free of the need to control things.
3. to feel free of the need to control yourself according to someone else's desires and expectations.
4. to feel free of the need to prove who you are, or of the need to pretend to be even a little different than you really are at that moment.
5. to feel free of any need to conform to any particular cultural "norm", or any definition of yourself.
6. to feel your full innate deservingness, independence, and competence.
7. to feel free to communicate your emotions; and in return, the right to be heard and understood. And if it doesn't happen, to accept that fact.
8. to feel free to own your desires -- as they would be without influence from others (present or remembered).
9. to feel free to state those desires as a matter of secure fact--because you are the world's foremost authority on your feelings.
10. to feel free to move toward the achievement of those desires.
11. to feel the pure enjoyment of those desires, once achieved; without wasting thought or negative feelings on it.
12. to feel free, once you have begun to achieve that goal, to change it again, stop short of it, or grow on past it.
13. to redefine yourself at any time.

You have the right to expect something done for you as you would have done for someone else. (tho it might not get done!)
(Hart's Golden Rule Corrolary.)

Your freedom depends on all other people, of all kinds and ages, having these same rights.

Other people (especially parents) have desires, comforts, that they would like you to fulfill. You may do that, but you are not required to!
. . You may have accumulated "shoulds" that sound like requirements --if you are even aware of them.

1. You are not required to be who you have pretended to be.
2. You are not required to be who you used to be.
   (You aren't who you used to be, you know...)
3. You are not required to be who you wanted to be yesterday.
4. You are not required to be who you thought you were.
5. You are not required to be who anyone else thought you were.
6. You are not required to be who anyone else expects you to be.
7. You are not required to be who anyone else wants you to be.
8. You are not required to do something just because someone else wants you to.
9. You're not required to believe something just because someone else wants you to /expects you to.
10. You are not required to do something you'd be good at, if you'd rather not.
11. You are not required to follow rules that don't really exist.

And yet, just because you're not required to do all these things, you still may want to--it may still be best to --but first, just replace that tired old (supposed) motive. Replace "I should..." with "I want...". It will feel vastly better. If you find that you want not to, then you learned that! (See the "Should" essay.)

Go for simplicity. A great psychological maxim from vaudeville: "If it hurts when you do dat... don' do dat!"
("hurts", here, means more emotional than physical pain.)

I want to help you digest this. This list is certainly not me giving you permission. Rather, it is permission that you've always had, and society may have given you the impression that the subject was banned, or their permission was needed. Not so!

Picture this: nine dots on paper, arranged in a 3--by-3 square. The puzzle: run a pencil in four straight lines, without lifting the pencil, that hits all nine dots.

This is the source of the phrase "thinking outside the box". Most people assume a certain extra rule --one that was not given-- and thus limit themselves so much that the puzzle is impossible to solve. One of the greatest goals in life is to discover what rules you had merely assumed --rules that have no reason to exist. Now you can erase many inscriptions on your identity-map that said "Here be dragons!"

Responsibility is not obligation. (Perls)