My Journal

June 8,1998

Mom has gained some weight so to-day I was sorting out the clothes that didn’t fit anymore. I pulled out a pink skirt and said it was too small but she told me that it still fit. I got her to try it on and she laughed and agreed it was way too small. Five minutes later, while I was still in her closet, mom picked  up the skirt again and asked me what I was doing with it. I stopped, held it up to her and reminded her that it was too small. She was annoyed and sure that I was wrong. Then I told her to try it on again. “Mom it won’t even go over your hips!” She tried it again and saw that I was right. Three minutes later, she picked it up again and asked about it. I was busy sorting laundry and in a hurry so I took it from her again. “Do me a favor!….Don’t try this on again!…… That’s three times….IT DOES NOT FIT!!” She knew I was  annoyed, Waited a few seconds and  said,  “TOO BIG EH!”  I doubled over laughing.

September 18,1998   

To-night we were all at Blair and Joy’s place for dinner. Mom misplaced her purse at least three times. (The only thing in her purse is a tissue and a comb) We saw her wandering  around saying, “Did anyone see where I left my purse?”

I helped her find it twice and the third time I got annoyed and said, “Mom for crying out loud quit hiding it! When I find it this time, set it on the table here where we can all watch the darned thing!”

Mom looked at me  annoyed but with a little twinkle in her eye and said, ”You’d better watch it! I’ll be in Heaven before you and I’ll tell them, Don’t let her in, she’ll just bother us."                                       

August 10,1999 

To-day I went to check my mom’s fridge for food. On her counter sat a peeled, uncooked cob of corn. Three bites had been taken from it. I called mom into the kitchen, pointed to the corn and said, ”Do you see something wrong here mom? She answered, “You’re darned right there’s something wrong! …….That was the lousiest cob of corn  I   have ever tasted.” I raised my voice and  snapped ,”No bloody wonder mom, you’re not a flipping mouse….you have to cook it!!"                 

We ended up laughing until our sides hurt.

March 2001

I was at mom’s condo today cleaning up, sorting laundry and trying to get mom ready to go grocery shopping. I suggested that she eat something so she came back with a fried chicken leg in her hand and was walking around eating it. She would put it down in the hall and say, “Where’s my chicken?” Then she’d set it down on her dresser and say, “I’ve lost my chicken!” After locating her vanishing chicken several times, I was close to losing my mind. Finally we were ready to go and after wrestling with bags of laundry and old newspapers for recycling, I tried to find her apartment key. Standing in the doorway, I was holding two keys up to the light. (I was comparing the cuts in the keys to see if they matched.) Mom, very frustrated, said to me, “ Are you taking my picture?”  That was too much!!

THIS IS A SAMPLE OF THE DISJOINTED NONSENSE THAT GOES ON MANY OCCASIONS. NOTHING MAKES SENSE AND WHEN I AM READY TO SCREAM, I END UP LAUGHING INSTEAD.  IT IS SO MUCH EASIER TO COPE WHEN YOU SEE THE HUMOR.

My Mom To-day