Well? Do it! It's great fun! (The Introduction.)
   Ah, yes. Once or twice in out lives, we are all a little child, dressed in a terribly doofy Santa Clause outfit, hiding behind the couch from that ultimately wretched camera our parents chase us with. We are considered so cute, so vulnerable, and, so happy. Free spirted and rambunctious, we had all the wee hours of the day to eat, sleep, play, poop, and DIE!--no, really we had all this free time and we didn't know what to do with it.

 And, then there was school.

Yes! Your cruel, vicious, MEAN parents sent you to school, where you had bad food, werid teachers, and met lots, and lots of mean, smelly kids with lice, ticks, and fleas.

Your parents decide you need a bit of toughening up. All of the downtown martial arts classes are filled up, you rip your costme every day in ballet, which costs too much to keep up on a daily basis, and all the after school sports are much too rough for your sorry ass, even golf.

So, what do the have you do??

They have you join Scouts. Yeah, that's right. Scouts. >=)

So, instead of being the innocent thing you are like this:

They turn you into THIS:

That's right! Mwhahah! They're EVIL! EEEEEVIL I TELLS YA! Big, greasy NERDS with ACNE!

Sooo..What the hell DOES happen while you're there?? Well...Lesshee..

 Capn' Joe Bob, the coolest of the instructors, gives you a fun, fun tour of those whacky woods you don't know a THING about! He's pretty cool. He has lots of cool candy,cool weapons like uzi's and machetes, and pies. Hot pies, at that. Unfortunately, he dies in a car accident outside West Pockawhockachanookie. -snf- Terrible, terrible.

So, who's our counselor now? And how about the new rules?

 

 Well..the candidates are rather questionable....If not frightneing..

Since the death of Capn' Joe Bob, all the cool rules have been revoked and changed. Instead of giving you cool uzis, they give you pocketknives...and these things...:

Trust me. I'm as clueless as you are on the whole point of this.

Now, now, now! How about those instructors, hrmn? Well, lets see what's in our little cournicopia:

Bwinkie McSporkspork, the VERY affectionate scoutsman, if ya knowhaddimean.

Sockey, the last-minute-low-on-funds-ditch attemempt to get a decent employee instructor. She foams at the mouth a lot. Lots of fun.

.....And this guy. He was pretty cool. That is, until they found Sockey's and Bwinkies' limbs stored in barrels in his meat curing shed.

 Well...Times have changed..I-I think......

What's in store for the Scouts of tomorrow? Let's find out! =D