FTM Perspective
The Pregnancy Project
This is taken from an email sent by a 40 year old FTM who has been on 'T' for 4 years.
I'm kind of in the middle of transition as I've told everyone but work.
But they haven't asked and I can pass 100% male, so it's a weird
situation. I plan on having top surgery in 3 years.
My partner
who is 100%lesbian and has been with me before I told everyone about the FTM, conceived
our baby with me right by her side every step of the way. She is and will
always be 100% lesbian regardless of my status. I support her 100%.
It took about
a year for her to get pregnant but during that time she had a cyst removed and
was also on fertility drugs for a short time. It was a roller coaster
time. We went through California Cryogenics and I would recommend them to
everyone, they were fantastic. We took our time and found a donor that we
both liked and knew from the start he was the donor. (We went through Dr.
Angeline Beltsos in Chicago for the insemination and she was awesome!) We
have a tape of the donor's voice for the baby to hear and we will tell her
everything. We told everyone from the start what we were doing and we got
the most amazing support. My folks who were still not used to the FTM
stuff, were initially skeptical but only about the method of conception.
My mom is now the person we rely on to take care of our 6 month old if we are
both at work. We work different shifts on purpose so we can be with her
all time. After the baby was born, we went through Atty. Roasay
Mulryan in Chicago for the adoption, again fantastic job. It ran about
$4000 to $5000 total but will be task deductible this year. In Cook County
in Illinois, you can do a co-parent adoption without the mother giving up
parental rights. I did not come out as a FTM to the court, because my main
focus was to legally adopt my daughter, which was successful. I think they
just thought I was really butch. We are going to check into changing my
name on her birth certificate in the future.
The biggest
joy was being present with my partner when the baby was born, and seeing each
day, the changes she makes as she grows and learns new things. She looks
just like her grandma, on my partner's side. I tell anyone who asks that I
am her DD (as in daddy) and we will deal with the question as they come.