Transitioned Parent
A
Father Becomes a Mother
A Heterosexual Man Becomes a Lesbian
As a male, I fathered 2 children in my previous marriage. When that
marriage ended, I remarried. Two years after that marriage began, I wound
up with legal custody of the children because their mother 'couldn't
cope.' (That makes it sound too simple. . . I fought for the kids because
they were in danger. . . not because Ii had any plans of getting custody. . .
see?)
My new wife
know about my gender issues before we got married, and when I found it
impossible to continue living as a male, she supported me in transitioning to
female. She is not truly lesbian, but that is how our relationship has
evolved. Additionally, she is the bread winner of the family. Her
income potential far exceeds mine, despite the fact that when we got together we
were in the same profession (Information Technology). She thought it was
nuts to quit a good job and become Suzy Homemaker. So I became the 'wife'.
The kids also
went through the transition with me, and I find myself in the dual role of
father and mother. Prior to my transition, I had a terrible relationship
with my son. However, he stuck by me through the transition, and now we
have an incredibly wonderful relationship. Essentially, I've become the
mother he always wanted.
My
relationship was good with my daughter prior to transition, and ironically, it
has now moved to a typical mother/daughter love/hate relationship. She
relates to me completely as a female with all the accompanying emotional
force. She supports my transition to female, but butts heads with me on
typical parenting issues: boyfriends, curfew, homework, etc.
This is how
I've always dreamed my life would be. . . everything I ever aspired to be was
tied up in being a good wife and mother.
My son has
been fantastic about it. Exceptionally accepting and supportive, and has
educated his friends. He tells me that he has not run into any peer
problems over it.
My daughter,
initially, was concerned about how she would be viewed by her peers. "Oh,
your Dad is a girl???" But, all of her friends have been very
accepting too. My son helped her tell her boyfriend. . . her greatest
concern. . . and that was a non issue because the boyfriend had a close school
friend who is gay.
All in
all. It's working out quite well.
My mother,
and sisters (one who is 14 years older than me and one who is 18 years older
than me) are not accepting at all. I haven't seen or talked to my sisters
in over a year. I've spoken briefly with my mother once in the past
year. She might be moving a little closer to acceptance. My in-laws
have been wonderful.