Shaun Watson reviews…

…Part Three of the Jimmie Rodgers Collection

Movie poster from the Internet Movie Database Bog dir: Don Keeslar Gloria DeHaven as Ginny Glenn/Adrianna Aldo Ray as Sheriff Neal Rydholm Marshall Thompson as Dr. Brad Wednesday Leo Gordon as Dr. John Warren Ed Clark as Deputy Jensen and Jeff Schwaab as The Bog Monster

I have this bad habit of looking at someone and placing them in a different decade of the Twentieth Century at their current age. For instance, I knew a girl named Nicole who looked like she belonged in the Twenties. I also know a pair of kids who look like they should have met in Dresden, Germany back in 1983. The photo I planned to make would have proved my point. The same could be said of architecture(when done on purpose, not at random), cars and movies. In the case of movies, more and more people are trying to capture the feel of the past with costume and not with the script.
What I mean by that is the filmmakers of today rely too heavily on special effects to say "Hey! We're in the past!" A true way of immersing a moviegoer into believing they're in the Thirties is to write and film as they did in addition to costumery and special effects. In the context of the last comment, I present to you the third movie in the Jimmie Rodgers Collection, the 1983 horror film Bog.

Bog starts out like any outdoor horror movie does: city slickers head out into the boonies and deep into the bush to fish with their wives. Naturally, tragedy strikes and the wives are killed by something living in the swamps outside of town. The men are more angry than sad, and want action done. The action falls to the local law, Sheriff Neal Rydholm(Aldo Ray, The Green Berets, Won Ton Ton - The Dog Who Saved Hollywood) and boring-ass Deputy Jensen(Ed Clark). They try to keep the local men and the distraught tourists from going and getting themselves killed. In the meantime, they need someone to figure out what killed the lady tourists.
Enter our main characters, forensic scientist Ginny Glenn(Gloria DeHaven, Out to Sea, "As The World Turns"[TV]) and local doctor Brad Wednesday(Marshall Thompson, IT! The Terror From Beyond Space, Battleground). These two have an amorous past together, and it seems to squeeze itself into many of the superfluous science scenes(mmmm…alliteration…) They obtain a sample of the monster to determine what could suck all the blood out of a full-grown human being and get a good idea of who--or what--their killer could be. Our scientists struggle with theories and making their sexual innuendo sexy before coming up with the idea that their killer is a giant fish-creature. Naturally, the sheriff is confused, but he asks for their ideas.
The scientists come up with an idea to make a blood fog machine that will lure the Bog Monster(played by Jeff Schwaab) onto land where they can stop it. Now, the Bog Monster is impervious to bullets of all calibur, so they use the next best thing: great quantities of Rophynol shot through a fire hose. Yes folks; you too can stop a rampaging fish-man with Roofies. Unfortunately, the local witch Adrianna(also played by Gloria DeHaven) tried to protect this primeval creature from the fumbling hands of man. She got shot in the back for her trouble. With the fish-man's fan club killed and the beast itself captured, the heroes rejoice. The beast is brought back to Ginny's lab for further tests, where it is determined that the Bog Monster needs human females to breed via a combination of blood transfusion(?) and normal sexual intercourse. It then returns to the bog to lay its eggs(??) and hunt for more human blood. After determining this with the help of ichthyologist Dr. John Warren(Leo Gordon, McLintock!, Big Top Pee-Wee), Dr. Wednesday leaves Ginny alone with the sex-starved beast that has already killed several men with its bare pincer claws. Way to set up conflict between you and the monster, Doctor.
The creature smashes the lab and lumbers off with an incapacitated Ginny to mate with her, as if pulled straight from Robot Monster(1953). In true "Man of Action" style, Drs. Wednesday and Warren drive off in search of the monster. They confront it with fire pokers and shovels and eventually force it into a corner, where a car comes by and crashes into the monster. The ensuing fireball was awesome, but not as awesome as the ending that showed the monster's eggs and froze the frame with the words:

ROOFIES: The Killer Drug used by ALL Merfolk Hunters Nationwide!

The strangest part about this movie is that it didn't seem to be performed as if it were created in the 1970's(Bog was filmed in 1978, but not released until 1983), but as if it were a product of the 1950's Cold War movie boom. Every aspect of the script's performance screamed that it was to be shot on black & white film stock and that Ginny's breasts be encased in a pointy bra. The whole monster breeding with human females? That's a whole lot of mid-20th Century sci-fi right there, with the previously mentioned Robot Monster and the openly titled Mars Needs Women(1967). It Conquered the World(1956) and Creature From the Black Lagoon(1954) can be credited to the inspired lameness of the costume for the Bog Monster. Ultimately, the 50's feel is due to the actors used. Seriously, who uses older people as the leads in a horror movie, even in the late Seventies and the early Eighties? Horror movies were definitely for the young as a faulty means to deter premarital sex by showing premarital sex and its consequences. Such a rich tradition carries on to this day with Jason X.
But what of our elders and their splack attacks? That would not provide for a visual treat in any way on film, so why allude to it? The answer may be as simple as reliving one's youth. And if one participated in many film and television productions in the 1950's as part of their youth, then it would be short order to bring a specific performance style and behavior to the production. With that, it seems Bog was more suited for an earlier time than the film stock's suggestion. Now if only the movie had kept my interest with the story as did the way the story felt. Oops.

• Watching the Sheriff bumble his way into and out of situations.
• The idea that a large dose of Roofies can stop a rampaging fish-man. Roofies? Oh, c'mon, use a flamethrower, a beartrap, something other than drugging the monster's Long Island Iced Tea for forced sex.
• I swear, watching Ginny and Dr. Wednesday kiss was quite unappealing. You might like it, though. I dunno.
• What's this crap about a witch living in the swamp? Oh, and she loves the Bog Monster. What the hell.
• Normally when a person has a lighted burner with a fuel tank attached, that qualifies it as a flamethrower. Sadly, the writers didn't use that in a specific scene.
• Note the magnifying glass focused on the microscope in one lab scene. It's kinda weird.
• The way the guys took it to the Bog Monster's face at the end. It was like that could have been the movie's poster. In the 50's anyway.

"THE END"

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