Shaun Watson reviews�

�Part Five of the Jimmie Rodgers Collection


Movie poster from the
Internet Movie
Database

Spacehunter:
Adventures in the Forbidden Zone

dir: Lamont Johnson
exec. prod.: Ivan Reitman

Peter Strauss as Wolff
Molly Ringwald as Niki
Ernie Hudson as Washington
Andrea Marcovicci as Chalmers
Harant Alianak as the Chemist
Deborah Pratt as Meagan
Aleisa Shirley as Reena
Cali Timmins as Nova
Beeson Carroll
as Grandman Patterson
Paul Boretski
as Jarrett Patterson
Patrick Rowe
as Duster Patterson

and
Michael Ironside
as Overdog McNab

There are times when I feel like giving up and throwing in the towel when if comes to my profession of graphic design; times when I feel like I need to go and do something else, like be an accountant or a writer. There are a few problems with such thoughts. One is that I have spent too much time learning the ins and outs of graphic design to just give up on it. The other is that there is so much justification to give up on my profession, if only by way of others screwing up and making me think, "Hey, I can do better that that!"
For instance, the whole writing thing; I've lost count of the number of times I've calculated how the money spent on a poorly written script could have paid for my college education. The example used is the 1983 movie Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, the fifth (and hopefully final) part of the Jimmie Rodgers Collection.

Our movie opens up on a damaged spaceship as it ejects a single lifepod before exploding. The lifepod contains brunette Meagan(Deborah Pratt, "Airwolf"[TV]), black chick Reena(Aleisa Shirley, Ballistic) and blonde Nova(Cali Timmins, Seed of Innocence). They crash-land on Terra XI, a planet under quarantine due to a vicious plague. Promptly captured by wannabe sand-people, the girls are pulled away as their lifepod sends out a distress beacon to all ships in Terra Sector. A reward is offered for the survivors to the tune of 3000 credits.
That's the kind of money that ex-spacecop Wolff(Peter Strauss, xXx: State of the Union, voices on "Biker Mice From Mars"[TV]) needs to pay his bills and not get evicted! Hot dawg! He heads down to Terra XI and, with the help of his android assistant Chalmers(Andrea Marcovicci, The Stuff, Jack the Bear), looks for the girls. They soon witness a sand train(looks like an old Chinese junk, but on train tracks) under attack. The stranded girls happen to be on this train under protection from Grandman Patterson(Beeson Carroll, Crimes of the Heart, Rounders) and his clan of wannabe sand-people. The ship is under attack from Zoners, humanoids who live in the Forbidden Zone� under the rule of the evil cyborg Overdog McNabb(Michael Ironside, Starship Troopers, Highlander II: the Quickening, "SeaQuest 2032"[TV]) and his slightly insane Chemist(Harant Alianak, "Total Recall 2070"[TV], Billy Madison). In the battle, the girls are captured by Zoners, Chalmers is destroyed and Wolff decides that since he's a "lone wolf" he can go it alone�that is, until his car almost gets stolen.
Here we meet young Niki(Brat Pack member Molly Ringwald, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Betsy's Wedding), a filthy native girl of Terra XI who ends up tagging along with Wolff after he does not kill her for stealing his car. Eventually, the smell becomes too much for him and he forces her to wash her nasty ass. As that happens, a bulldozer-like vehicle tries to kill Wolff. Much to Wolff's surprise, it's his old police buddy Washington(Ernie Hudson, Ghostbusters, The Crow, Congo, The Basketball Diaries). Washington is now Sector Chief of Terra Sector and is coming for the girls to get the 3000 credits reward. Given a few encounters with larvae-men, always-wet Amazons and sewer dragons, the old buddies team up. They eventually bump into Grandman Patterson's sons, Jarett(Paul Boretski, "Cold Squad"[TV]) and Duster(Patrick Rowe, Howling III: the Marsupials), who are on a quest to kill Overdog McNabb. They ally with Wolff, Niki and Washington to get the girls, destroy the Overdog and his horrible Forbidden Zone�, and get off the (inadvertently) liberated Terra XI to enjoy their money.

Ernie Hudson is�
Negro Police/Armed Forces Buddy!
This movie was something of an insult to me as I watched it, yet I still sat there and took it. Some of the encounters were actually intriguing, but they were throwaway encounters. I wanted to know more about the wet Amazons and the larvae-men in the old rocket. Overdog McNabb was not the most challenging enemy to face, especially given that he's stuck on a slow, crazy-ass pneumatic arm thing with no defenses and no real offensive capabilites except giant tri-claws that shoot disruptor bursts. It's almost as if he's giving his all for the "Worst End Boss Award". Why?
There's only 3 real archetypes in this movie worth mentioning: Lone Wolf, Negro Police/Armed Forces Buddy and Scrappy Female Partner. This movie is so original that the Lone Wolf character is named Wolff. I'm surprised they didn't give him some sort of lightsaber; then he'd be a proto-Kyle Katarn from Star Wars: Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast[VG]. If Wolff were any crazier, then I could see how Washington(Negro Police or Armed Forces Buddy) could easily be Murtaugh to Wolff's Riggs. As for Scrappy Female Partner, they don't have many of those. Not since Dee-Dee to Fred Dryer's "Hunter"[TV]. The difference between Dee-Dee and Niki is that Dee-Dee could convincingly play a prostitute. Comparatively, Niki is useless due to her lackluster tracking ability. The Overdog's lair is represented by a matte painting with a different color scheme than the rest of the Forbidden Zone� and the planet, so I doubt her "tracking skills" are worth half of 3000 credits.


I suppose motorcycle rules on Terra XI are really harsh, due to the use of rollcages on off-road motorcycles.
CHOICE CUTS:
PRICELESS QUOTES:
Eh, I'm lazy. Go to IMDB.com and get the really good ones.

This movie would have worked a lot better if it was a buddy cop movie set in the contemporary 1980's. No, wait: bountyhunters. Even better: buddy cops who moonight as bountyhunters -- it gives their image an extra bit of edge, see? And this whole crash survivor thing could easily be turned into a kidnapping ring. It could involve drugs, maybe heroin--no, make it cocaine. Cocaine's a big-name 80's drug. Yeah, like this: the drug dealers are kidnapping beautiful girls--supermodels--to become hookers and lab rats for their drugs! And they've kidnapped the President's daughter! Voila! Now with a bit of polishing, I could write for Golan-Globus Productions. But the real question is how to sell a buddy bountyhunter movie about drug-dealing kidnappers and supermodels called�"ZOMBIE WARFARE"?

The Ivan Reitman-executive produced movie Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone gets a ReViews rating of 5.


The Jimmie Rodgers Collection contains:
The Brain | Robot Ninja | Bog | Food of the Gods - Part 2 | Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone

Back to the Movie Views and Reviews Homepage

"Forbidden Zone" �1969 APJAC Productions.

Site Meter