 Movie poster from the
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Flash Gordon is based on the 1934 serial cartoon strip by Alex Raymond. It was kinda like Prince Valiant�INNNNNN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! But not really. In 1980, the movie was made. This was--at the time--considered to be one of the most lavish and expensive movies made, not tom mention the most beautiful. There was no skimping on anything and it was a grand attempt from one of the greatest producers that ever was:
Yes, Dino de Laurentiis(not a typo, I assure you): the Italian man who brought us films like Conan the Barbarian (1982), Conan the Destroyer (1984), King Kong Lives (1986), Danger! Diabolik and Barbarella (both in 1968).
Flash Gordon has an edge over most movies due to the fact that its theme is sung by Queen. The one and only Queen. "Highlander" Queen. This rock band is responsible for the memorable theme song that plays in the back at the intro using Alex Raymond's drawings. The theme is sooooo good, and that's just the first song you hear. Anytime something kick-ass happens, expect to hear "FLASH! AAA-AHHHHHHHH" and possibly a synthesizer effect that sounds like wang whanng�
No more shall I dwell on how awesome this movie is: Reviewin' time!
OK, so the movie starts with Emperor Ming the Merciless of Mongo(Max Von Sydow, The Seventh Seal, Minority Report) and his advisor/Chief of Secret Police Klytus(Peter Wyngarde) looking at the Earth and plaguing it with natural disasters left & right. Stock footage abound. Some of this stock footage called "hot hail", attacks a private plane headed over a wooded area, containing the famous New York Jets QB "Flash" Gordon(Sam J. Jones, 10�that Bo Derek film) and Dale Arden, random reporter(Melody Anderson, Firewalker and the Manimal TV series). The plane crash-lands in the lab of the exiled scientist Dr. Hans Zarkov(Topov, the James Bond film For Your Eyes Only). Dr. Zarkov says he's got a plan to stop the attack(?!) on Earth and he needs some volunteers. Flash & Dale pass on it, but change their minds when the scientist pulls a gun on them. He forces them into his rocket and they are launched into space to combat this attack. It's too bad the G-forces rendered them unconscious.
The rocket containing the trio is sucked into a wormhole and spit out on the planet Mongo. Soldiers are sent out to capture the adventurers and bring them to Ming, ruler of all Mongo and, by default, the universe.
Flash 'nem(read: "and them") end up in the throne room amidst a trbute ceremony. The scene is lavish and everyone is wearing sparkly stuff. The color scheme is mostly red, debunking the idea that silver is the color of the future. Ming, seated at his throne, is flanked by Klytus and his ultra-horny daughter Princess Aura(Ornella Muti, Oscar). The earthlings are made to introduce them selves and Flash speaks up, to our entertainment with this line:
 A scene from the Flash Gordon movie serials |
While that does happen, Flash is brought back to life by Princess Aura and "mentally stimulated"(you'll have to watch) on the way to Arboria, the homeworld of Lord Barrin(Timothy Dalton[aka James Bond #4], The Rocketeer and Sextette), her lover�hey, there may be a conflict of interests here--
Sure enough, Barrin tries to kill Flash twice and fails. Somehow, Flash convinced all the Arborians that he's OK and that they need to rally together to defeat Ming.
They decide that the next place to go is the Hawkmen's Air Fortress, ruled by Vultan(Brian Blessed, voice of Boss Nass in Star Wars Ep. I: The Phantom Menace), one of the best characters in this fiilm! They go there to find both Dale and Zarkov, who managed to fend off the mindwipe procedure br remembering Beatles lyrics and escaped Ming's castle with Dale and were intercepted by Vultan's Hawkmen. They also find out that it's a doube-cross! Turns out Vultan wanted Arboria for himself and was willing to sell Barrin, Flash, Dale and Zarkov out to Ming. Per his style, Ming lied and proceeded to destroy the Air Fortress.
He also took Barrin, Dale and Zarkov prisoner. Ming decided to leave Flash inside�to his DOOOOOOM!!! (mwahahahaha)
Conveniently enough there was a rocket cycle lying about and Flash escaped. As he soared thru alien skies to Mongol, he contacted Vultan(he and his people made it safe to Arboria) and asked for assistance. Vultan was ready to go and rallied his men to an ion cloud. Somehow, Flash was picked up on Mongo radar and sent out War-Rocket Ajax to capture him, dead or alive. While that order was given, Aura was tortured for her treachery and Dale was prepared for�the wedding.
Flash led WR Ajax into the cloud and when it emerged, it was set upon by Hawkmen in the most beautiful battle I've ever seen. Eventually, Flash & Vultan took control of the ship and find a counter that is supposed to be connected to the death-ray aimed at Earth. The Earth will be destroyed as a wedding gift to Dale! As Flash stays on the ship to get to the wedding(damn the city defense system!), Barrin and Zarkov are set free by an escaped Aura and they set to deactivating the deathray and the city defenses. Just as the wedding is about to be made final, Flash comes in with the ship and rams it into the throne room, impaling Ming.
Flash gets out and Ming tries to fight back using his power ring, but it backfires. The threat is called off by a floating machine that spouts this line:
The end is so cheery and great, it's what makes me like sci-fi/adventure so much. All is set right: Barrin becomes the Emperor, Vultan's kingdom is restored, and everyone is rescued from the tyranny of Ming. Flash, Dale and Zarkov decide to stay and live in Mongo. Just after the Hawkmen skywrite "THANKS FLASH" in the skies of Mongo, the camera turns to the ground to look at Ming's power ring�and the hand that seizes it�
PRICELESS QUOTES:
-Princess Aura, just about to be tortured by "the Bore-Worms":
"No! Not the Bore-Worms! Not the Bore-Worms!"
-Vultan, after Flash goes to save a fallen Hawkman:
"Impetuous boy!�Oh well, who wants to live forever? DIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!""
-The wedding vows as performed by the Mongo priest, Ming and Dale Arden:
"Do you, Emperor Ming of Mongo, take this Earthwoman to be your Empress of the Hour?" "Of the hour, yes." "Do you swear to use her as you see fit?" "Certainly!" "Do you promise not to jettison her into the void�until such time you grow weary of her?" "I do." "I DO NOT!!!!"
This movie is a favorite of mine and always will be; I give this movie an 8.
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