Roy Harper emerged from the toy store holding his daughter's hand. It was a rare calm day, and there was, blissfully, no sign of Roy's day job persona as the crime fighter known as Arsenal. Here, in the mall, the worst thing he had to worry about was overspending. Roy moved out of the mall traffic to await the approach of his boyfriend, Dick Grayson, who also doubled as his teammate as Nightwing.

He wasn't waiting long before Dick strolled up, a few bags in his hands. He moved to the father and daughter and quickly took up Lian's other hand. Lian took advantage of the situation, pulling her weight up so she could swing between the two men. Thankfully, she quickly grew bored with that and went on ahead, jumping from tile to tile. "This amused her for scant moments more, until she found something more interesting and screeched to a halt.

In front of a pet store.

She looked at the row of dogs and exclaimed, "I want a puppy!"

Roy looked up absently. "No," he stated, as in no argument.

Dick came up behind him, his eyes fixated at the same spot as Lian's. "But why not?" he asked Roy.

Roy turned to his daughter. "You're not getting the puppy," he broke the news gently to her. Then he stood and regarded his boyfriend. "So you don't get to help her."

Lian frowned at him. This wasn't fair, Roy thought to himself. There was no way he could be the bad parent. He'd always been the cool parent, which meant that Dick should be the mean one. Not that Dick could really be the mean one since he wasn't Lian's parent to begin with... but still!

The trio had moved into the store where a tiny terrier was running around the floor. Roy stopped his musings to see Lian's face completely overjoyed as she moved to pick the small puppy up. No, Roy thought. If she picked it up, he'd have to buy it cause she'd never let it go.

Before she could pet the dog, Roy walked over to Lian and pulled her in the direction of the turtles. Turtles were safe. Turtles were easy. Turtles didn't require the same intense devotion a puppy did. Turtles didn't chew on shoes or remote controls. Turtles didn't need to be taken out to go to the bathroom. And best of all because they live in tanks, there was absolutely no need to chase or clean up after a turtle.

So while Roy dragged his daughter towards the reptile section, Dick stood staring at the puppies. In fact, Roy noticed, Dick seemed to be pointing at the puppies. He seemed to be talking with an employee and pointing at the puppies.

Roy was going to have to kill him.

Roy caught Dick's eye and made a wild series of "Hell No!" gestures in his direction. If Dick got a puppy, it was staying at Dick's place. Lian caught the movement out of the corner of her eye, and she looked up at her father. Roy dropped his arm back to his side and turned his attention back to the turtle.

He tapped on the glass, trying to get the turtle to move. Thus far, he had failed to convince Lian that there was anything alive in the tank. Roy wasn't too sure himself, but even a pet rock was better than a dog.

In fact, a pet rock had promise.

Dick had ignored Roy's protests and was currently watching as the salesperson moved to unlock a tiny cage. She gathered up the small dog and handed it over to Dick smoothly. Dick scratched the dog's head and it barked contentedly. Lian heard the tiny bark and looked up. She then immediately ran over to her 'uncle.'

The odds on the pet rock had just dropped dramatically.

Roy winced. He walked over slowly, delaying the inevitable. He could feel defeat coming on four paws. Why couldn't it have been a fish? They were easy. They lived in bowls for crying out loud. They didn't slobber and whine and bark and drool and gnaw and... whoa. Those were huge paws, massive, even. Oh no, no big dogs.

Small dogs were better. Big dogs were just... they ate more. They took up more room, and don't to mention when they went to the bathr-- Roy shook his head. No big dogs, just the small ones. Wait. No dog period! Even if he did get a dog, where would it live? He made up his mind. No dog. Lian would just have to get a bird or a frog or a rock or something.

He looked at his daughter playing with the puppy. Definitely a rock.

Roy sighed and walked over to him. Roy caught Dick's eye to glare at him, but the younger man looked away innocently. Roy got very close to him and put his mouth to Dick's ear. He spoke low enough not to let Lian hear. "You buy it, it's your buddy."

Dick looked down at Lian who had the dog's hair in a tight grip. He smiled, "I think someone disagrees with you."

"I cannot have a dog at the tower. Donna will kill me. And I'm not potty training a dog, Grayson!"

"Donna wouldn't kill you," he clarified, "not if you took care of it."

"But I don't want to take care of it." Boyfriend or no, Grayson was dead. The boy wasn't normal; he just wasn't getting this pet thing. Maybe an elephant had sat on his head, way back when and Roy should be lucky that dogs were the biggest things the pet store stocked.

"Lian, honey, wait right here. Uncle Dick and I need to talk okay?"

She looked up at her father and nodded absently then went back to playing with the puppy, already haven fallen in love with it. Roy grabbed Dick forcibly by the arm and pulled him just outside the pet store, keeping an eye on Lian through the window. Dick, more amused than annoyed by Roy's actions, waited patiently for the outburst he knew was going to come.

He didn't have to wait long. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Dick held up a hand to stop Roy's outflow of words. "There's nothing wrong with a dog, Roy. Look at her, she loves it."

Roy's eyes darted to his daughter then back again. "Okay number one: I don't want a puppy. Dog? Fine. Puppy? No. Two: I can't afford a dog. Do you know how much puppy chow costs?" Dick opened his mouth to respond but Roy was on a roll. "I don't either, but it's more than I'm willing to pay! Three: I have no place to put this dog. Four: I don't have time for a dog. Five: I don't have money for a dog!"

Dick smiled. "I have money for a dog."

"Good then you buy the dog, not me"

Dick smiled. "Okay."

"What?" Roy asked confused.

"Lian's birthday's coming up, right?" Dick started to head back into the pet store, but Roy pulled him back.

"Yeah, but what does that have to-- but I still have to take care of it!"

Dick started to head back into the store but he stopped. He looked back at Roy and grinned, his blue eyes sparkling. "And...?"

"Are you gonna come over and do it for me Robbie?"

"Oh come on Roy," Dick pouted a little bit. Roy tried to avoid looking into the adorable blue eyes. "Think about how happy it will make Lian."

Skeptical, Roy's eyes darted towards the window once again. Lian was now laughing as the puppy pulled at her hair. He turned his attention back to Dick's puppy dog eyes. Roy frowned an 'I'm going to regret this' frown.

"C'mon," Dick urged as he leaned closer.

Roy threw his head back, disgusted with himself. "You had to pick a dog?" he asked pitifully.

"Trust me," Dick squeezed Roy's arm. "You'd have hated a cat."

"Should I be thankful you didn't decide to get her a pony?"

"Well..." Dick tilted his head. "Do you think she'd like a pony better?"

Roy slapped his forehead in disbelief. "No way," Roy shook his head adamantly. "I saw 'Gone With the Wind.'"

Dick nodded in agreement. "Okay then, no pony. Now, my friend, we've just got to pick out a type of dog for you... er her."

Roy frowned looking pathetic. "But I don't want a dog," he stated with a slight whine.

"Oh, come on," Dick started, exasperated. He'd thought he'd won Roy over already. He tried a different approach. "Look, Lian's birthday isn't for a few months. I'll train the dog up until then. How's that sound?"

Roy tilted his head thoughtfully. "That has promise." Then after a beat, he nearly shouted, "If I wanted a dog!"

Dick winced. He threw his arm around Roy, and guided him back into the shop. "Look, the hard part will already be done, and you wouldn't tell Lian she couldn't keep a gift would you?"

"You're a bastard."

"I know. Come on, you can pick out the dog. Who knows maybe it'll be a watchdog or something. A sidekick." Dick ignored Roy's glare, this was just fun now.

"Oh great. I'm not naming it ArrowPup."

Dick leaned over to whisper in Roy's ear. "Hey, you think Bathound is any better?"

"Or Krypto?" Roy grinned.

"Exactly my point. Come on, let's get you a dog."

"I really hate you sometimes," Roy stated standing just outside the puppy aisle.

"No you don't," Dick said matter-of-factly, without turning around.

"How do you know?" Roy challenged.

"Cause I know you," Dick said as he turned to survey the row of kennels.

"You're way too confident."

"But am I wrong?" Dick asked. He looked back to see Roy smiling. "Thought not," Dick said, smiling back.

Roy stuck his tongue out at Dick and moved down puppy row.

Dick laughed, drawing attention to their small group. "Oh that's mature."

"I never claimed to be mature."

Dick pretended to ponder this for a moment, then nodded. "That you didn't. Good thing you have me to keep you in line"

Roy swatted him lightly on the chest as he walked past him. "Yeah, yeah." He stopped looking at the new terror to threaten his home. "So we buying this dog or what?"

Dick dropped to one knee and grinned at the little girl. "What do you say Lian?"

Her face lit up and she nodded vigorously. She pressed her palms against the glass. She looked at the row of dogs, then back to Dick and Roy. "I want that one," she said pointing to a dog in the corner.

Roy looked at it. It was... cute. It was tiny. It had huge feet. Huge feet meant it was going to get bigger. Yet, his main problem was that the dog was cute. Roy grabbed Dick by the shoulder having third and fourth thoughts. "That," he pointed, "is not the type of dog any self respecting superhero would have!" he whined.

Dick looked at the puppy. "Honestly, what's wrong with a husky?"

"It's not mean enough, man." Roy pointed to the dog. The tiny Husky yawned widely, its pink tongue flipping out, then tiredly tossed its paw over its eyes. In the next moment, it removed it, and blinked at the humans as if aware it was being discussed. It looked at Roy, cocked its head, then yawned. "And lazy," Roy added.

"Sounds like you." Dick poked the glass in front of the puppy. "Hi, cutie." The dog looked up at Dick, and didn't yawn. Lian grinned as she watched the dog approve of him.

"You suck." Roy frowned.

Ignoring Roy (yet again), Dick called the salesperson back over again, this time to retrieve the tiny husky. Roy hated being ignored. And picked on. And losing. And if it wasn't bad enough that his lover was doing it, now the damn dog was in on it too! Roy allowed himself a wry smile. Hah. See if Dick got any tonight.

Roy watched with pseudo disgust as the salesperson put the dog down beside Lian. Dick watched a few moments before picking the dog up himself and moving closer to Roy. "Isn't it cute?" Dick asked him. The puppy looked at Roy cutely. Dick looked at Roy cutely. Roy looked down to see Lian looking at him cutely. Damnit! He was outnumbered!

"So...uh...you guys like this one?"

Both Lian and Dick nodded exaggeratedly. Lian in pure excitement, Dick in a more mocking gesture.

"You're really, really sure?" Roy asked still looking at the puppy.

"Uh huh," they nodded.

"Oh....." he winced, "kay. Roy looked down at the puppy and sighed. "Looks like I'm stuck with you, boy"

The puppy blinked large happy eyes at him. Roy tried to scowl, but for some reason his scowl wasn't working and he smiled. Damn, the cuteness was already taking effect. He hated the cuteness effect. Well, unless it was Lian's cuteness effect. That didn't really count. He reached out to scratch the puppy's head as he tried to remember exactly how big huskies could grow. The puppy licked his hand. Roy smiled.

"Aren't you a cute boy?" Roy said, oblivious to the fact he'd just changed his speech pattern to 'baby' the dog.

The puppy licked him again and Lian hugged him tightly by the waist. "Thank you, Daddy."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he said modestly. Roy took the dog from Dick's hands and put it on the ground for Lian to pet. "So what do you think would be a good name for this boy?"

"Krypto?" Dick grinned at his lover.

Roy's gaze whipped over to Dick. "Don't you start with that sh-- stuff."

Dick stuck out his lower lip, pouting in that adorable way he must have learned as a child.

"No, I'm already mad at you," Roy admonished with mock disgust, failing to be influenced by the pouty expression. "We're not naming the dog Krypto!"

"Fido?"

Roy shook his head. "Princess?" Lian offered.

That gave Roy pause. "Is the dog a girl or a boy?"

Dick tapped against the glass, gesturing for Roy to read the vitals on the dog, but Roy shook his head. "Okay, I am not going to look. You're buying it. You look."

"What do you mean you're not going to look? You'll give the dog a complex if you start messing with its head."

"Dick, I swear to all that's holy..."

Dick looked at him, not backing down. Roy's eyes narrowed. He grabbed Dick by the collar of his shirt and hissed softly into his ear. "If you make buying this dog any harder on me than you already have, I will not be spending the night any time soon. Do you got it? No sex."

Dick blinked. "Okay, you watch the dog, I'll go pay for it."

Roy looked at his daughter. "How about we try a non-gender specific name, huh?"

Lian blinked at him. "What?" she asked, her nose wrinkling up in confusion

"We'll name it later," he sighed.

"Okay," Lian said more focused on the tiny dog. Roy poked his head down an aisle and saw Dick still at the counter. Roy wandered the other aisles seeing the how-to books, collars, leashes, bowls, bones, toy--what had he just agreed to?

Hell on four legs. That's what he'd agreed to. How was he going to handle taking it for walks? And spending time with it? He was a superhero. Superheroes did not have time for pets. That is, unless the pets had superpowers and saved the world. Hell, the closet Roy could hope for in that respect was a dog that could piss on a tree. At least that way he knew it could aim

Dick walked over with a leash. "We are the now the proud owners of a pure-bred Husky."

"Hang on, 'a pure bred'?" Roy asked. "Don't people who buy pure breds have to breed them and stuff?"

"Don't worry about it," Dick walked past him over to Lian. "Baby," he told his boyfriend's daughter, "you've got a puppy!"

Lian squealed with delight but Roy was still down the other doggie aisle. Treats. Snacks. Raincoats for dogs. Sweaters for dogs? What type of weird merchandising was this?

"The dog's not getting a sweater," he announced, to no one in particular.

Dick and Lian had joined him down the aisle, the little puppy trailing on their heels. They stopped to gape at the numerous doggie items, while the dog removed a treat from one of the open bins. Roy watched amazed then felt relieved when he remembered Dick was paying

"Okay just so we're clear," he smiled at the two people he loved best. "It's your dog. You two own it, pay for it, raise it, walk it, everything it."

That, of course, started the puppy dogs eyes, in triple no less!

"What?" Roy exclaimed near exasperated.

"You don't like the dog, Daddy?" Lian asked with her eyes wide.

"I like it baby." He smiled at his little girl.

"Then why isn't it your dog too?" she asked innocently.

"'Cause Daddy wants Uncle Dick to pull his weight in the family. I raise you, he raises the puppy."

"Then what do I do?"

"You just be cute," he said and tapped her on the nose.

"Okay! I can do that!"

"I know you can." He ruffled his little girl's hair. "And as for you…" he looked over at Dick.

"I can be cute," Dick stated with a straight face.

"You can," Roy allowed, with a slight smile. "You're in charge of dinner. And no cornflake pizza." He frowned. Damn it. He was the bad parent now.

"I don't think the dog will like cornflake pizza anyway."

"Dick..." Roy half growled-half whined.

"The dog needs to eat too, Roy"

"Okay, well in charge of feeding all of us?" Roy looked hopeful.

"There you go."

Roy sighed. "Good. I'm hungry." The puppy whined at him, having finished the treat. "Apparently it's hungry too. Feed us."

The puppy wandered up to Dick and nudged his leg ever so gently. Dick looked down with a smile on his face. "Okay, okay, I'll feed you kid." He withdrew a chew bone from a bin and held it for the pup.

Roy looked down at the puppy, now chewing contently. He knew it. Not only was he going to be the bad parent, but he was also going to get ignored. Replaced by puppy cuteness.

However, there was a flip side. If things were messy he could blame it on the dog, and if things didn't get done he could say he was taking care of the dog. If he were so inclined, if his superhero morals let him.

However, it would be kind of embarrassing to keep blaming things on the dog. Well, at least, if anyone found out.

But, he was dating a detective.

Damn. He tried though.

Sighing, he grabbed the leash that a salesgirl offered him. Roy bent down to clip it on the dog's new collar but it went to hide behind Dick. Great, now even the dog thought he was the bad parent. There was no justice in the world.

"It doesn't like me," he pointed out petulantly.

Dick took the leash out of Roy's hand. He bent down to attach it, unsurprised when the dog moved back behind Roy. "See," Dick said, "now it doesn't like me either"

"It doesn't like the leash," Lian sagely commented.

Dick handed the leash back to the salesgirl and picked the pup up with little protest from the newly acquired ball of fur. Roy watched as Dick headed for the exit. He sighed, then followed his daughter, his boyfriend, and their puppy out into the mall. The puppy gnawed on its bone, seeming to grin at him over the other man's shoulder.

Roy shook his head. What had he just agreed to?

~stories~