FUN

Things To Do when ( REALLY ) Bored

-Wax the ceiling. -Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car. -Drop your cat from a high place, to see if it really does land on all four feet. -Repeat above until failure. -Rearrange political campaign signs. -Sharpen your teeth. -Play Houdini with one of your siblings. -Braid your dogs hair. -Clean and polish your belly button. -Water your dog...see if he grows. -Wash a tree. -Genuflect to Larwence Welk. -Knight yourself and some close friends. -Found the Jim Jones' School of Modern Bartending. -Flirt with an evergreen. -Scare Steven King. -Give your cat a mohawk. -Purr. -Mow your carpet. -Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings.) -Whine -Play Pat Boone records backwards. -Re-elect Richard Nixon. -Dress like your favorite Heavy Metal group...surprise your grandmother. -Listen to a painting. -Play with matches. -Buff your cat. -Raise professional racing ferrets. -Paint your home...day-glo orange. -Dial-a-Prayer and argue. -Read Homer in the original Greek. -Learn Greek. -Change your mind. -Change it back. -Watch the sun...see if it moves. -Mail Jerry Falwell a Hustler magazine. -Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster. -Paint your windows. -Flash your goldfish. -Paint. -Smile. -Paint a smile. -Shoot at a fire hydrant. -Apologize to it. -See if you really can build a small nuclear device in your basement. -Rotate your garden...daily. -Plant a shoe. -Write letters to all the political officials that are representing you and tell them what a good job they are doing...on April 1st. -Sweat. -Give a Rorschach (Ink-blot) Test to your gerbil. -Take apart all your major kitchen appliances. -Mix and match the parts. -Turn your TV picture tube upside down. -Take your sofa for a walk. -Write a letter to Plato. -Mail it. -Start. -Stop. -Dial 911...breath heavily. -Go to a funeral...tell jokes. -Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets. -Carry a tune. -Drop it to see if it breaks. -Starch your shoes. -Contemplate a cockroach. -Get a dog to chase your car. -Let him catch it. -Form a political party. -Throw a political party. -Climb a sidewalk. -Ride a loaf of bread. -Annoy yourself. -Get angry with yourself. -Stop speaking to yourself. -Kiss and make-up. -Stand on your head. -Stand on someone else's head. -Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire. -Read a Harlequine Romance Novel...but only if you're REALLY bored. -Build a pyramid. -Paint your teeth. -Wear a salad. -Speak with a forked tongue. -MAKE a drive in window at your local bank. -Walk on water...but DON'T get caught. -Shave a shrub. -Have a proton fight. -Watch a car rust. -Quiver. -Confess to a crime that you didn't commit. -Learn to type...with your toes. -Buy the Brooklyn Bridge. -Mail it to a friend. -Be in the wrong place at the right time. -Be someone special. -Plot the overthrow of your local School Board. -Request covert assistance from the CIA. -Factor your social security number. -Take the fifth. -Take the sixth. -Read the 1962 Des Moines White Pages. -Join the Foreign Legion. -Learn to write Sanskrit. -Learn to read Sanskrit. -Exist...existentially of course. -Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska. -Hot wax the bottoms of your brother's dress shoes. -Print counterfeit Confederate money. -Kick a cabbage. -Take a picture. -Put it back. -Go back to square one. -Sand a mushroom. -Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor. -Play solitare...for cash. -Abuse your patio furniture. -Run for Pope. -If you don't win, run for God. -If you still don't win, run for Mayor of Toledo. -Write a book about a previous life. -Count to a million...fast. -Have your cat bronzed. -Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins. -Revert. -Sleep on a bed of nails. -Don't toss and turn. -Think shallow thoughts. -Run around in squares. -Boil ice cream. -Sterilize your stereo, with Jack Daniels. -Carve your girl/boyfriends initials...in a marshmallow. -Converse...with a flatworm. -Speak in acronyms. -Drive the speed limit...in your garage. -Make a schematic drawing...of a rock. -Be a rabid Boxcar Willi fan. -Sing the National Anthem...during your calculus final. -Pay off the national debt...with a bad check. -Calmly have a nervous breakdown. -Give your goldfish a perm. -Fly a brick. -Play tag...on the nearest interstate. -Excorsize a ghost. -Exersize a ghost. -Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people. -Paint stripes on a lake. -Ski Kansas. -Wear a bowler...hat, stupid. -Test thin ice...with a pogo stick.

More Things To Do when ( REALLY ) Bored

-Apply for a Unicorn Hunting License. -Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes. -Do a good job. -Crawl. -Be a side affect. -Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley. -Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck. -Duck. -Redecorate your garage. -Develope a complex. -Join the Army...be someone simple. -Try harder. -Hit the deck. -Cut the deck. -Make a deal with the Devil...keep your fingers crossed. -Put legwarmers on all your furniture. -Be number six. -Sit. -Stay. -Roll over. -Play dead. -Scheme. -Sprinkle your family room. -Cause a power failure. -Pour instant concrete in your brothers waterbed. -Give a lecture tour on the historical signifigance of cream cheese. -Wrigle. -Be cherubic. -Debate politics with a fern. -If you lose stop watering it. -Donate your brother's body to science. -Join Hell's Angels by mail. -Wonder. -Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave. -Be a square root. -Park your car...with a friend. -Park your car...with a group of friends. -Ask stupid questions. -Spew. -Surf Ohio. -Go bowling...for small game. -Have your first statement of bankruptcy framed. -Hang it on the wall in your office. -Staple. -Solve the population problem. i.e. x + 2y - 16x = population; solve for x. -Contribute to the population problem. -Interview a cloud. -Play tiddly-winks...go for blood. -Go to a drive-in movie in a tank. -Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway. -Crumble. -Crumple. -Translate Shakespear into English. -Skydive...to church. -Send the president an alarm clock...wind it up first. -Do aerobics...in your head. -Play card with your swimming pool. -Found a cockroach stable and stud farm. -Send your goldfish to obedience school. -Pinstripe your driveway. -Play "Kick the fire-hydrant." -Harness chipmunk power -Free the opressed toaster-ovens of America. -Free the obsessed toaster-ovens of America. -Mug a stop sign. -Change your name...daily. -Go for a walk...in the attic. -Challenge the neighbor kid to duel. -Find a witch. -Burn her. -Regress. -Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat. -Go bow hunting...for Toyotas. -Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids. -Boldly go where no man has gone before. -Jump back. -Play to lose. -Scalp a VW. -Be a threat to the American way of life. -Be a threat to the Northwest Tibetan way of life. -Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Toronto. -Have your car painted plaid. -Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization.) -Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation. -Race turnips. -Give your grandmother a raise...and another week paid vacation. -Sharpen your sleeping skills. -Put out a fire. -If you can't find one make one. -Ionize your new chemistry professor (remember you took the heat capacity of the first one) -Make a lifesized replica of the Statue of Liberty...out of grape jello. -Tree a goldfish. -Get a college education. -Bury your fathers Nissan. -Tell your him the dog did it. -Catch a falling star. -Throw it back. -Place your cat in hyper-space. -Again tell your dad the dog did it. -Corner the market on Agnew in '76 buttons. -Find out where all these cylinders graduated from. -Install handicapped access to the {your favorite pathetic baseball team here}'s dugout. -Kickstart your TV. -Kickstop your TV. -Perfect the internal cumbustion telephone. -Prove once and for all that a cow can jump over the moon. -Complain to God that Jupiter has more moons than we do. -Make a list of things to do when bored.

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