GeoffX.com - Weekday Lineup

GeoffX Weekday Programming Lineup (all times are Central)
	The GeoffX Farm Report Broadcast live every weekday morning from Rantoul, Illinois! It's agriculture with a personal touch.
	How To Get Dressed Confused by clothing? Perplexed by pants? Let Geoff show you the way!
	Pee-Wee's Playhouse
	GeoffX This Morning You're bound to fall in love with the most unique morning show on television! Co-hosts Marv Albert and Kathy Lee Gifford bring you all the day's news, mixed in with a bit of fun and a lot of panties! It's, um... different.
	Morning Wood with Larry Horse Looking for hard news in the morning, without the empty fluff? GeoffX has what you need, in this new show featuring one of Chicago radio's most enigmatic personalities! Every morning, the sometimes-sober, always-opinionated Larry Horse gives it to you high and tight in the no-nonsense, fair and balanced style he's become famous for. Be sure to catch the "Viewer's Voice" portion of the program, where you the viewer call in, state your opinions on today's hot-button issues, and in response, Larry calls you a dope.
	Rainbow Brite
	The Care Bears
	What's In My Pants? Mike Pries hosts this game of skill and daring, now on GeoffX 5 days a week! Watch as contestants ask questions to identify (and win!) what's in Mike's pants! So, what's in Mike's pants today? It could be just about anything... from a toaster to a trailer! You'll just have to tune in to find out!
	Belch That Tune Geoff is your host on this long-running game show classic, where contestants try to burp up a song for cash and prizes! "Geoff, I can belch that tune in 2 Cokes and a root beer..."
	Dr. Jack Self-help shows are all the rage these days, and with that in mind, GeoffX proudly presents a man who has touched so many lives in a way few others could. Dr. Jack Kevorkian hosts a talk show designed to give real answers to the questions so many of us have today. If the weight of the world's troubles has got you down, let Dr. Jack and his patented "Problem-Solving Machine" make it all better for you!
	GeoffX CuliNews Do you want to watch the afternoon news and a cooking show, but don't have time for both? Fear not, loyal viewer! Geoff condenses both into a single 30-minute program! Tune in as Geoff reads the day's headlines while tossing random things into a blender!
	GeoffX's Double-Stuf Oreo Sitcom Block! Here's our recipe for lots of laughs: Start with Diff'rent Strokes, mix in not one, but two episodes of Full House, and top it off with Webster! It's black, it's white, it's creamy in the middle, and it's a whole lot of fun!
	Punky Brewster
	Judge Geoff Geoff takes his rightful place on the bench in this new real-life series. In Geoff's courtroom, cases aren't decided by frivolous ideas like "justice" and "evidence". Geoff makes sure that the truth comes out through far more reliable methods, like flipping a coin or rock-paper-scissors! When asked about his motivation for this new series, the honorable Geoff said, "When I realized I wouldn't have to wear pants under the robe, that sealed the deal."
	Drooling For Dollars Matt Gast hosts the new game show that brings you the ultimate battle of half-wits! Tune in every day as a team of Senile Seniors takes on a bunch of Raging Retards! The team that slops the most saliva into their bucket at the end of the game wins, plus gets an extra rice pudding before bedtime!
	Chris & Matt's Blind Date Check out this brand-new relationship show with a zesty twist! Every week starts out with GeoffX's own Matt Gast and Chris Wodarski each subjecting themselves to a blind date with a horrendous woman who has no apparent redeeming qualities! As the date progresses through the week's episodes, you'll laugh till you tinkle yourself at our fearless twosome's noticeable discomfort! This week, will Chris take Helga up on her offer to "go back to her place and watch some movies"? The answer might surprise you!
	GeoffX Grocery News Geoff comes to you every day from Country Squire with the latest top stories, as well as this week's grocery specials!
	The All-New Supermarket Sweep Watch as contestants make a mad dash up and down the aisles of Country Squire, sweeping up all the filth and vermin they can for fabulous prizes and discounted produce!
	60 Seconds A topical news magazine for people with short attention spans.
	Uncle Harry's Nuthouse! Quality programming for children. Rated TV-MA.
	Click above for 5 nights of fun on GeoffX Primetime!
	Communist Strip-Tease News The Communist Party (a proud corporate sponsor of GeoffX) brings you the very best in far-leftist propaganda! As an added bonus, some of the Eastern Block's finest strippers will remove an article of clothing after each story!
	The Matt Gast Show In the past few years, talk TV has shown a disturbing trend toward positive, feel-good themes. Well, it's time for someone to bring the standards of television talk shows back down to a new low, and Matt Gast is up to the challenge! That's right, it's all lesbians, all the time! You'll see why we only show Matt from above the waist when quarrelling lesbian lovers settle their differences in the "Mud Pit of Justice"! Now that's entertainment!
	Up All Night with Mr. Pries At long last, GeoffX brings you a talk show that makes a great companion to the legendary late-night antics of Matt Gast. Five nights a week, Mr. Pries, coming to you from his basement, brings you celebrity interviews mixed in with his own unique brand of humor and profound life philosophies. Joined by a supporting cast that features "second banana" Mr. Gast, and bandleader Dennis Wodarski, this show could very well change the way you look at late night!
	GeoffX Presents: The Scott Baio Hour of Power!
	Joanie Loves Chachi
	Charles In Charge
	Senile Bingo Matt Gast is your host for 30 minutes of non-stop fun for our older, not-so-sharp viewers! Watch and enjoy as he calls the same number for the entire half-hour! "G-52... G-52... Does anybody have G-52? Anybody? Hello?"
	Growing Pains: The Final Season Relive all the magical memories of the painfully bad final episodes of this classic sitcom! With all of the plot lines thoroughly exhausted, the Seavers take in a troubled runaway, played by Leonardo DiCaprio! Watch and remember just how God-awful of an actor America's favorite film heartthrob is!
	Communist Shopping Network "Today we are selling toaster. Is good toaster. My brother, he make toaster. You want shoes? NO! You get toaster. You want toilet paper? NO! You get toaster. Please allow 6 to 8 months for delivery. Order toaster NOW!" Join your hosts, Vladimir "Deep Discount" Lenin, Josef "Krazy Klearance" Stalin, and Ho "Buy One Get One Free" Chi Minh as they bring you the very best in anti-capitalist savings!