******
I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended too soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed
******
I hate this life. The constant pressure of everything. My manager keeps bitching at me because I had gotten bad reviews for my last concert for dressing provocatively, and I really don't care. I don't care what they think, and I keep telling him that, but he tells me I should...but I just don't. I don't care what they think. I care about what my fans think, and that's it.
True, I used to think I wanted this. I wanted to sing, it was my life. But that was before the pressure, the media, the stress, the fakeness. And now, all I want is to get away from this life. I just want my old life back. The old life where I was in the Mickey Mouse Club. Work was fun, and it's not anymore.
The days where I would do a few skits, sing, and then rest the whole day with the crew. The warm sun on our backs while we sat together listening to Janet Jackson, sipping cokes and laughing. Justin would be chatting with Ryan, their backs turned to us. JC and Keri would be discussing something older, something we didn't even understand because we were only 14. And Britney snuggling up to me, my hands around her, while her fingers ran gently through my soft curls.
I really do miss those days. Closing my eyes, I still can feel Britney's fingers running through my hair so gently. God, I used to cry over that. I really do miss her.
Why can't I just go back in time?
I heard the door open, and my little sister Rachel walked in. The breeze awoke me from my thoughts, and I glared at her.
"Guess who's here." Rachel said, smiling at me while she ignored my glare.
I sighed, refusing to play guessing games. "Who?"
Her smile grew wider, and she quickly replied. "Britney."
My mouth dropped open. "Brit is here? Isn't she on tour?"
Rachel shrugged, and Britney stepped in the room. Rachel grinned at Britney before leaving and slamming the door behind her.
******
In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside
******
"Hey Chrissy. How are ya?" She wasn't smiling, but she was trying to act cheerful.
I tried to hide my surprise. "Aren't you suppose to be on tour or something?"
Britney frowned at that, and sat down beside me on the bed. "It's stressing me out. I had to get away for a few days. And Pittsburgh was the city I was in yesterday, so I had to come see you."
I smiled at her. She tried, I could tell, but she couldn't force a smile back. Instead, she fell into my arms, and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight.
"Christina. Fuck, I can't take this anymore. I'm going to go crazy with all this shit. Seriously, I can't stand the yelling and the same questions and the shit and the rumours and the critics and the stress." Britney closed her eyes and buried her head in the crook of my neck as she sighed and I could feel her breathe against my skin. "I miss you."
******
It was then I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
******
I gently placed my hands on her face and she brought her head up, and looked into my eyes. I swear I saw tears there. Tears dripping down from her now open eyes, down her cheeks.
******
It was late in September
And I've seen you before (and you were)
You were always the cold one
But I was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring at a dark gray sky
I was changed
******
"I'm sorry," Britney bit her lip as I caressed my hand over her cheek, wiping away her tears. "I'm sorry I've been so out of your life the past few years."
I didn't say anything, and I brought my hand down and pulled her closer to me, so she continued. "You were the only one that brought me through this shit before. I miss you more than anything."
******
In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (so deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
******
I didn't know what else to do, so I did what I had always wanted to do. Ever since I laid my eyes on her. This was it.
It was like an intuitive instinct, she brought her head back up and stared deeply into my eyes. Her eyes looked like she was expecting it, and so did her lips. So I did it.
I kissed her.
Britney fell into it automatically, and kissed me back. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her tightly, not wanting to ever let her go. I wanted to hold onto her forever, and continue this kiss forever. I wish that it was possible.
And I knew, this kiss was heaven. It was just like I knew it would be, and I could feel all my troubles washing away. It was everything to me, and I could feel it was the same to her as it was to me.
******
I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything, all right...
******
When we finally stopped, Britney didn't say anything. She simply smiled at me and fell into my arms. I lay down on the bed and held onto her tight.
******
I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon...
In places no one would find...
******
We lay there for a few minutes, my hands around her. I could hear her soft breathes, and I knew she could hear mine. But I knew now, that everything would be okay. Britney was here. She was with me. And I knew, she would make everything alright.
I smiled as I felt her turn around and lie down on top of me, her soft, warm, dark chestnut eyes staring into mine. Her lips brushed against mine softly, and she moved her hand slowly to my hair. Running her hand through my blonde hair as she continued kissing me.
I guess old times are back.
******
In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (so deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry...
******