Dear Rob Thanks for sending on "Max Power". I'm the professional writer who'll be working with students this semester. You've got an action packed story here; reminds me of the classic James Bond plots where the hero saves the world (or at least the city of Chicago) with only seconds to go, then gets the adulation of the world (or at least the city of Chicago). I think you're moving the story along a wee bit too quickly, though. I know the word limit for WIER is a maximum of 750, but it would be better to submit half the story told at a better pace than a whole story that feels rushed. As it stands, you're "telling" rather than "showing" us some of the action: "The time had hit 5 seconds and Max had only disarmed one nuke and was starting on the second.  Just before the time ended Max finished disarming one more nuke but couldn’t disarm the last two.  The two nukes lit up the sky like fireworks.  Max ran to the control panel and started entering the code to change the course of the bomb." We can't be in that room with Max, feeling his anxiety and fear, when you tell the story that quickly with that little detail. As well as plot, it's important to take character into consideration. Max is kind of a generic hero. We know he's got a skeptical frame of mind, which is appealing, but beyond that, we know mostly what he does, not what he thinks or feels. The James Bond character, or the Batman character in the movies, or any of these recent hero-types may be somewhat cartoon-like, but they do appeal to us because the authors (or directors of the films) give us something of a sense of what drives them, what is going on inside their heads as well as the action outside. If you do revise, try expanding just one paragraph into what is called in fiction a "fully enacted scene" in which readers can feel as though they're standing in the room with the protagonist... Many thanks again for sending this in. And just a note: please do spell check and proofread your stories before you submit them to WIER so that we don't stumble over typos and errors.... Rhea T. Hey Rob,     I'll help you fix your story (or at least try).  I really liked it but it moved along to fast (sound fimiliar?).  Work on the detail such as if Max came in on a sub instead of a helicopter because a copter is noisy and the terriorists would have heard him.  Overall it was a great story. From the guy beside you, Dain