No, but man can. (Note: We are talking about someone you actually like.) He can turn your life into a howling wilderness of misery by employing such devious means as:
But enough of this sympathy with The Enemy and on to the gathering of the ammunition.
Unlike quantum physics problems, man problems can be solved by neither equations nor research. No single rule holds true for all of Them, except that they wear pants (Not even all of them--some are transvestites). What applies to one man will repel another, and so on.
Before we can begin to deal with them, we must be familiar with the general categories they fall under. Note that I said "deal with them," not "understand them"--which is impossible, as they themselves don't. Them: General Categories.
Black Holes--Men are so dense, they cannot take hints,: in Tagalog, torpe.You could call a Black Hole everyday, follow him around, invent excuses to see him, buy him presents, anything short of sending him a marriage contract, but he will not suspect that you are interested. If you have a misfortune of liking one, you must be direct, forward, and in business-speak, proactive. Otherwise you will waste away from waiting, and by the time he sees the light (When you train the headlights on his eyes and say "Marry me or I run you over!")--if he ever does--your hair will be of the same color as your wedding dress. N.B. Some men who act like Black Holes are not really Black Holes, they're just pakipot.
God's Gift to Women--Men with such faith in themselves, they think that women are just dying for them. Often referred to as the "feeling guapo," although most of the time, not even a crossed-eyed mosquito would ever mistake them for guapo (handsome), on one hand they have self-confidence. On the other hand, the hot air they constantly wait contributes to the greenhouse effect. Mama's Boy--Men so attached to their mommies, no woman could ever meet their standards. The only way Mama's Boy can be happy is if you turn yourself into a clone of his mommy. You don't marry Mama's Boy; you adopt him. Octopus--An Octopus is a guy who looks like a regular human with two arms, but once he starts pawing you, you will be convinced that he has ten long tentacles, all of them wound around parts of youranatomy. Nerd--If you flip over a Nerd, you will be in perpetual competition with his books, his computer, and his notes. It is advisable, that if you are in like with a Nerd, to be a Nerd yourself. Then you will be a perfect pair. You can have Isaac Newton for breakfast, Albert Camus for Lunch, and Carl Jung for dinner. You can attend film festivals of obscure European movies in which nothing happens. You can have arguments on semantics. On the other hand, your life together would seem like a long-drawn out college education, and you could get bored enough to sneak in an episode of That's Entertainment.
For the female of the species, no organism is as baffling, as incomprehensible, or as infuriating as that which is commonly referred to as "Men." I do not think I exaggerate when I say that no problem of quantum mechanics, no balancing of the household budget, and no perpetually resurfacing pimple can wreak as much consternation upon us females as man. Seriously, ladies, have you ever wept and refused food over quarks? (Physicists are exempted from answering.) Have you considered killing yourself because the money ran out before payday? (We are assuming, of course, that you are not the extremely high-strung sort who will leap off a tall building at the slightest provocation.) Has the appearance of a pimple made you wish the earth would open up and swallow you?
(a) Ignoring you.
In fairness to Them, they probably also sit around tearing their hair, wailing, "Aaaaargh! Women!" Or worse, maybe they practice their voodoo skills or read self-help books ("How to Make Your Ideal Woman Abandon All Logic and Relinquish Control Over Her Life to You"). I know from observation (and my vast experience as an amateur psychiatrist to guy friends) that they are capable of behaving as irrationally and even more mushily than women. One friend of mine, when in the clutches of l-o-v-e (or what looks like it), goes around in a sort of romantic shell-shock, mouthing hair-raisingly corny statements and prompting his friends to remark, "He used to be wonderfully depressing. Now he's just depressingly wonderful."
(b) Being interested in someone else.
(c) Not being able to take a hint.
(d) Talking about another girl.
(e) Quarreling with you.
(f) Commenting less than flatteringly about your appearance.
(g) Doing practically anything.
