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William's Hardware
June
Lorelai pushed through the front doors with a cup of coffee in her hands and an overstuffed bag on her shoulder. She'd never been in a real cab before, and the man had looked at her oddly enough as she paid with a hundred dollar bill. So what if she was rich, she thought, as he thanked her for the tip that seemed too much to the man, but was a ridiculously small amount of money to a girl who lived in a large house and had everything she wanted.
Sipping her coffee, she walked up to a large man standing at the counter and she smiled politely, "Is Luke here?"
The man stared at her a moment, before asking, "Why, are you in trouble?"
Lorelai shook her head, "Well, yeah, but Luke's got nothing to do with it. I just need to talk to him for a minute."
The man shrugged, "LUKE! There's a girl here to see you."
"A girl?" Lorelai heard several customers whisper. What was wrong with them, she thought. Luke never had a girl come see him? The guy was kinda cute, she smiled to herself, why was it such a ridiculous concept.
"I'm working on something, send 'er back," he hollered from behind the back doors. The man gestured for her to go and she hesitated, wondering if this was the right thing to do. She didn't even know the guy, but Lorelai knew she was a good judge of character and he seemed nice enough in the store.
Walking through the back doors, she watched as he ran a saw through a large chunk of wood, cutting it evenly in half. He glanced up as he turned the machine off and he pulled off a face mask, placing the saw on the table and grabbing her arm, yanking her out a back door. After he released her, he pointed back at the hardware store behind her as she leaned on an old truck,
"You shouldn't be there."
"The guy up front didn't indicate that at all, he conveyed the idea that it was alright."
He closed his eyes a moment, "No, I mean, inhaling the saw dust, it's not good for you," he glanced at her coffee cup, "And you shouldn't be drinking that."
She lowered her eyebrows, "You know I'm pregnant, don't you."
"Well, now I know for certain."
"But you knew before."
Luke tried not to look confused, "At the store, where we met."
"How?"
"Perceptive... haven't we gone through this before?"
She nodded, "I need to talk to you."
He glanced at her coffee cup and she tossed it aside, "Thank you."
"What, don't like coffee?"
"It's just not good for you."
"Yes, it is," she smiled, "It keeps me mobile, it keeps me sane. It's good, real good."
"You need help."
She nodded, "That's why I'm here."
"No, I mean professional help."
Lorelai scratched her head lightly, "Ok, so I can't get that here, but I'll take the next best thing."
"How do I figure into this again?"
"I haven't told you in the first place." She waved a hand at him before he could speak, "I need to talk to someone not in my circle of influence."
"Circle of influence," he repeated.
"What, you hard of hearing?"
"No, just at a loss of understanding."
She nodded, "Ok, I've got this problem, of which you seem to know about, but I can't talk to my parents about it just yet because they'll blow up at me and that wouldn't be good."
"No, it wouldn't," he agreed.
Lorelai smiled, "Good to know we agree on something."
"Yes, moving on, I've got work to do."
"Ok," she grew serious, "My best friend has been avoiding me, probably because she can't comprehend my problem."
"Goody-goody to your devil?"
"Yeah, though I wouldn't exactly put it that way."
"How exactly would you put it?" He smiled.
She shrugged, thinking, "I'm not sure, just not like that."
Luke sighed, "What about the guy who put you in this position, he does know."
"Yes, he knows, but that's another one of my problems, I don't know how to talk to him."
Luke smirked, "How's about you pull him out of work like you did me... seemed to have no problem there."
"Stay on track here."
"Not veering, just pointing out the fact that you have no problem yanking a complete stranger out of his job to talk to him about your personal problems, but you can't confront the people you need to."
"First off, you're not a complete stranger, I know your name is Luke, you're not a social guy, you work at a hardware store, and you hate coffee. Second, if you had a problem of this magnitude, would you find it so easy to talk to your parents, or friends?"
He shook his head, "Seeing your point, but again I say, the best way to solve this is to go to the those people and point blank, tell them what's wrong."
"You're no help."
"Never said I was gonna be."
"I'm leaving then," Lorelai huffed, "Thanks for nothing."
"You'll thank me when you do what I say."
"Fine Professor Luke, I'll give you an update on my thesis in the morning."
"Good."
They parted, both more confused than when they started.
* * * * *
Gilmore Residence
July
Lorelai hated birthday parties. More than that, she hated her birthday parties. She was forced into some frilly dress, forced to talk to people she didn't know and she was forced to be polite. While Lorelai didn't mind being polite to people she liked, she hated having to be nice to those she knew were only there for their social status. If you appeared at a Gilmore function, you must be special, she thought to herself.
"Well not me," she muttered, wishing, not for the first time, that she could run away from the stupid party and just be herself. She hated dresses and she hated her house. It was too large, too much a reminder of the fact that she was still a little girl who was dealing with a problem much to big for her alone, only the more she thought about, the more she realized that's how she'd have to handle it. Lorelai knew it was an insane thought, but she felt this was something she needed to do on her own; something she was going to HAVE to do on her own because she knew no one would understand and no one would want to.
Standing at the doorway, she greeted people as they came in, scared of the moment Christopher would prance through that doorway and demand to speak to her in private. She hadn't given him an answer and for some reason, she didn't want to. She knew it had a lot to do with the fact that she didn't want to get married, that was for damned sure. Lorelai knew that being pregnant, that was something reserved for adults and that adults got married, but she just didn't feel right with the whole situation. It was like playing House, only everything was real and nothing was working out.
"Lorelai?" It was her mother.
"Yes?" she responded, trying to sound chipper.
"You look a little green, are you alright? The party's going fine..." her mother trailed, trying to watch her daughter's eyes. She knew Lorelai had something on her mind, something she wasn't telling either of her parents and it bothered Emily because no matter how much they seemed to hate each other, Emily felt she was in the loop about what was going on in her daughter's life.
Now she felt out of it and it frightened her.
"I'm fine mom, just cold here by the door."
"It's July," Emily pointed out.
"In New England," Lorelai added.
"So," she questioned.
"So it's like being hot in the winter time of Florida, it just is. Now, can we skip the weather lessons and go back to the cold shoulder routine, it was working just fine. In fact, I was enjoying it immensely."
Emily's eyes widened at her child's statement. It was just mean, when had they gone past snide little remarks to outright mean. She sighed, "I was just coming to check on you, can't a mother check on her daughter?"
Lorelai stared at the floor a moment, "Yeah, sure, sorry."
"Now there's something new."
"What?" She glanced up.
"You, apologizing. That's not something you normally do."
Lorelai rolled her eyes, "Is there something you need 'cause I'm slacking on greeting the guests here," she pointed at a couple who walked past them and into the living room to converse with more people Lorelai didn't know.
Emily held up a plate, "I brought you some patte."
Glancing at it, Lorelai made a face, "It smells like Clorox."
"Smells like what?" Emily asked, sniffing it.
"Clorox; cleaning product; not food, therefore not edible. Long story short - smells bad, I don't wanna eat it." She waved her hands frantically at the plate.
"Lorelai, what's wrong with you?" Emily scoffed.
She slapped her arms on her dress, "Nothing," she shouted, "Why don't you take over for a while, huh, I need a drink, preferable something alcoholic and straight up, where can I find one of those mom?"
Emily's jaw dropped open, but before she could respond, her child was gone. She watched her head of dark hair bounce through the crowd of people until it disappeared and she looked back at the door, wondering if she should follow her. Emily sighed, controlling her emotions, she just needed a little space, she told herself. That's what the woman would give her child, some space.
Lorelai smiled at the people who talked to her as she passed. She wanted to call them all hypocrites. To tell them to take their presents and their envelops full of checks they hoped would make them look superior in Richard or Emily Gilmore's eyes and shove them where the sun don't shine, but Lorelai smiled. It was what she did best, smile in the face of adversity. Hell, she'd been born a Gilmore and she was still smiling.
"Hey," Ashley called.
Lorelai turned, genuinely smiling for the first time that night as she embraced her friend. "Glad to see you, and I'm really not just saying that because my parents force me to."
"I know," Ashley giggled, "How are you?"
"As well as can be expected." Lorelai pulled her friend out a back door, towards a seat near a small garden and waited as her friend sat before turning and hugging her tightly, "I don't know what to do."
Ashley swallowed hard, trying to remember that speech she'd prepared at home, but she just couldn't remember it. She knew what it centered around and she knew Lorelai wasn't about have an abortion. She also knew she couldn't convince her friend to join a convent for five months. "I don't know what to say."
"At least you're honest," Lorelai said, pulling away, wiping her tears.
"Lorelai, I can tell you a million things that you're gonna find right or wrong, but I know that's pointless," Ashley smiled, "I know you too well to try and talk you out of whatever you've already decided, and I know you well enough to know that no matter how disheveled you look, you have a plan already, so just go with it."
"But it's a little scary."
"So what, life is scary."
"Yeah, but I'm scared, you know that's not something I admit easily."
Ashley nodded, "But you're the only person I know who can grab fear by the throat and run with it. You can stomp fear away with your courage. You can tell fear that it's not gonna be living in your heart anymore. You can..."
Lorelai raised a hand, "I get it, I'm brave."
The two laughed.
"I just don't want to have to tell them."
Ashley glanced up, into the party, and saw Richard Gilmore discussing something with a fellow colleague, someone she knew ran a large company, and she understood her friend's fear. Those people weren't her people. Lorelai didn't really belong in Hartford, Ashley never wanted to acknowledge it because acknowledging it meant knowing one day she'd leave. She turned to Lorelai.
"You have to."
"I know, "Lorelai laughed, "It's not like I'm gonna be wearing baggy clothes and claiming, 'extreme water retention' for the next five months, but I don't know when the right time is, and it's not like this happened yesterday, you know how they feel about secrets."
Ashley nodded.
"They're gonna be devastated."
"They're gonna be pissed, "Ashley added, smiling.
"You said 'pissed'."
"I know," Ashley shrugged, "The occasion calls for it."
Lorelai laughed.
"And it got you to laugh, which is always good."
"Laughing equals good, yes." Lorelai glanced up, at all the people. "You know, they're all gonna be disappointed, not just my parents."
Ashley touched her shoulder, "Yeah, but how good will it feel when you're a responsible grown up woman and prove that you can take care of yourself and your kid and you don't need their help, or their money."
Lorelai took her hand, "Tell them or not, I'm leaving here, Ash."
"I know," she glanced away.
"Come with me."
Ashley looked up at her, "I can't."
"Why not?"
"I'm at Chilton; I'm doing well. Then there's my family... I would, but I can't."
Lorelai nodded, sniffling slightly, "I know, I just had to ask."
"I'll visit, wherever you go, I promise."
Smiling, Lorelai stood. "Well, since this is probably one of the last things I do here, I might as well have fun."
"Fun, what's that?" Ashley teased.
"It's that thing that gets you in trouble, remember."
"Ah," Ashley laughed.
Lorelai pulled her friend back into the party, dragging her towards the radio where she switched the CD's and listened as music that could actually be danced to began to surge through the speakers. Several teenagers that she recognized from school began to smile and join in with the two dancing in the middle of the floor while adults were pushed aside. Lorelai smiled, watching, this was a party. Until she spotted Christopher entering the room. She tapped Ashley's shoulder and pointed,
"Christopher's here."
"What are you going to do?" Ashley asked, eyes widening.
"Hide!" Lorelai shouted, rushing past her mother, who was coming to scold her. She could hear Christopher calling out to her, but she didn't stop. She didn't stop until she had slammed into the corner of her room and fallen on the floor, her heart thudding in her throat. Why couldn't this be easier, she asked the ceiling.
"Lorelai," Christopher said weakly, from the door.
"Come in," she responded, knowing they were going to have to talk sooner or later.
He entered, sitting on the bed before running his hands through his hair and staring at her with those eyes. Lorelai loved those eyes. They were probably the reason she'd gotten herself into this mess in the first place and now she didn't even want to look at them.
"I know you want an answer," she said slowly.
He nodded.
"I can't."
"What?"
"I can't marry you, it's just not right."
"Why not? I thought it was the right thing to do."
She stood, "Under other circumstances, maybe, but to marry me because you got me pregnant, that's not right. That's almost manipulative. You don't want to marry me..."
"I do," he interrupted.
"Shut up and let me finish," she shouted.
Christopher raised his hands in defense.
Lorelai sighed, "I got pregnant, this is my deal, and I'm really sorry Christopher, but it's my deal, not yours."
"You don't want me to be there?"
She shook her head, knowing somewhere in her, she was lying.
"You don't want me to help you?"
Lorelai shook her head again.
"Now you're just being stubborn."
"No, I'm not," she started.
"Shut up and let me finish," he shouted. "I know that our relationship has been built more on lust than love, but Lorelai, I do love you and it's not just your deal." He bit his bottom lip, carefully choosing his words, "It's our deal. This baby, it's ours and I'm here for you, for the both of you."
"What if I don't want you here?" She asked.
"You don't want me."
She shook her head.
"You're lying and you know it."
Looking up at him, she shrugged, "I'd like to admit that, I really would, but I can't. You and I, this thing we have, it's a fling. You've known it from the beginning." She paused. "Sure, there's an amazing attraction between us, I wouldn't be pregnant without that, but it's not something that I EVER looked at as long-term, neither have you and you know it. We just have to accept that, accept that it's wrong for me to keep you in my life just because of this," she pointed at her belly.
"What's that?" Emily asked, standing in the doorway. "Lorelai?"
"Mom?" Lorelai looked up at her mother, trying not to scream and run for the window.
"Your stomach," the woman said, looking pale, "Your... Lorelai please tell me you're indicating something other than what I think you're indicating because I just cannot believe..." she trailed glancing at Christopher, who'd backed away from her and was staring at the floor.
"Emily?" Richard called, "The Potter's are looking for you and Lorelai, they want to... what's wrong?" He asked, stepping into the room.
Lorelai swallowed hard, looking at her parents standing there, staring back at her. Her mother's breathing had quickened and Lorelai could see the tears brimming in her eyes. She was going to cry, she knew. Her father touched her mother's arm, questioning, but Lorelai knew her mother wouldn't answer him. Emily Gilmore simply stared at her daughter in shock.
"I'm pregnant," Lorelai stated.
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// PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4 //