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Gilmore Residence
That Night
Lorelai stared at her parents a moment, feeling her heart leap into her throat. She'd said it. She'd finally said it and she could read it on their faces already. They were disappointed, and shocked. Why did Lorelai find it odd that they'd be shocked. Swallowing, she stood taller, accepting the fact that it was her fault, that she wasn't making them happy, but that she was. And they looked small. Lorelai frowned, they'd never looked so small. Like they weren't even parents anymore, like they weren't her parents. They were just two old people staring back at her trying to comprehend what she'd just said.
"You're what?" Richard asked first.
"You're what?" Emily repeated, looking as though someone had taken her breath away from her. She touched Richard's arm and he gripped her, knowing she'd faint if he didn't.
Lorelai watched them both a moment, "This isn't how I wanted to tell you."
Emily stood straighter, "And how did you intend to tell us? In the delivery room."
"Obviously earlier than that," Lorelai muttered.
"NO!" Emily shouted, "No, don't you mutter at me now, young lady. When were you going to tell us about this? This isn't something small, Lorelai. This isn't breaking a lamp, or twisting an ankle sneaking back into the house. This is a serious problem."
"Yes, MY serious problem," Lorelai said quickly.
"And Christopher, I assume yours also?" Emily asked, looking to the boy in shock.
Christopher nodded slowly, "I think we should get married. We could stay here until we're out of college and can manage a life together."
Richard and Emily both started to nod and Lorelai took a step back, looking appalled.
"No, no way are you planning this with him. This is my baby, my body, my life and I don't want to live here that long. I'm not going to get married, not to him, not to anyone right now."
"Then what do you propose to do, Lorelai," Richard asked.
"I don't know."
"Did you hear that, Richard, she doesn't know." Emily said annoyed. "The girl knows how to get pregnant, but doesn't know how to resolve it." Richard looked away a moment as Emily's nostrils flared in anger, "I tell you how we resolve this. I'll call a doctor, get it all taken care of."
"No," Lorelai shouted.
"What do you mean, no. Lorelai, you're sixteen years old, do you realize what having this baby would mean?"
"Yes, it would mean working harder to get the things I want. It would mean caring for another life and making sacrifices."
"Damn straight," Christopher said, "Lorelai, you can't finish school with a baby."
"What, you're joining them in their ridiculous idea?"
Richard stood straight, "Emily, I don't think abortion is the answer, it's not right."
"Well, lookee here, daddy has an opinion on something," Lorelai grunted, pointing at her father.
"Lorelai!" Richard and Emily shouted.
"No, come on, I'm here sixteen years now and you know when I see dad? When he gets home to read the paper. There have never been kiss good night's or Barbie dolls, there've just been complaints about how I'm too childish, how I need lessons with my manners. From the both of you. Mom, you too, don't think this is aimed just at dad. At least he had an excuse, he was working. You, there's no excuse for you."
"So what, this is all my fault, how did I know she'd try to pin the blame on me," Emily threw her hands in the air, rolling her eyes.
Lorelai scoffed, "You, how is this about you? This is not about you. Sure, you've done nothing but push me away, but this was my decision and it's too late for your stupid idea."
"Late?" Emily asked.
"I'm four months pregnant," Lorelai thrust four fingers up to accent the number. "Four, that means no abortion."
"Adoption then," Richard suggested, still reeling from the fact that his daughter seemed to hate him and he still didn't understand why.
Lorelai shook her head, "No, no adoption, this is my kid."
"My kid too," Christopher uttered.
She turned to him, pointing a finger, "Yeah, sure, your kid too. You who spent months sending me cute little gifts just to get me in bed."
"That's not why I sent them to you and you know it."
"Fine, whatever, I'm leaving." Lorelai stormed past her parents and ran down the stairs, looking at the people in the living room who were all staring up at her, "Hope you have a great party!" She shouted at them before taking off out the door. Emily and Richard stood on the steps with Christopher running past them, neither knowing what to do.
Ashley walked towards the door, stopped only by Emily's hand, "You knew about this, didn't you Ashley."
The girl turned, looking at the woman, and then at those in the room.
"How could you not tell us?" Emily pleaded.
Ashley shook her head, looking frightened. "It wasn't my place, Mrs. Gilmore," was all she said before running out after Christopher and Lorelai.
Lorelai stopped running when her chest started hurting her and she fell to the ground, gripping it tightly as she maneuvered her way to the side of the road, leaning against the guard rail. She just needed to catch her breath, she assured herself over and over as the pain moved from her chest into her sides as cramps began to take hold of her. Her dress was caked in mud, she knew, and her mother would be furious.
That was when she laughed. Her mother would be furious. Of all the thoughts to have had at that moment, she cried, she had to think about her mother. Her mother ruled over so much of her life and she was so sick of it. She was sick of her whole life, of everyone judging everything she said or did. No one wanted to listen to her, they just wanted to compare her to some other child. Someone smarter, someone prettier, someone more well behaved or someone richer. It was always a comparison and she was sick of it.
She wanted to be seen for herself. She wanted the people who lived around her to look at her and see Lorelai. Lorelai who loves to dance and sing off key. Lorelai who drinks coffee while her mother's not looking and enjoys consuming large amounts of candies while watching old rented movies. Lorelai who makes mistakes and revels in them, solves them, learns from them. She wanted to be in a place where people saw a person.
"What are you doing?!" Christopher shouted, coming down the road.
"I'm dying," she shouted back, holding her side. "Go away, I'd like to be left alone during the process, you know, be with nature and all that BS."
"Lorelai, come on, we have to go back home."
"No, you have to go back, I can stay right here, thank you very much," she told him, watching him continue to approach and wishing she had the strength to stop him.
He leaned over, taking hold of her arms, "Get up, come on, I'll help you."
Lorelai wrestled herself away from him, "No, I told you, I'm staying right here."
"You can't stay here, it's not safe."
"Oh what, I'm gonna get hit by a car sitting on the side of the road."
"Cars have been known to veer off course."
"Good, that'll solve all my problems."
"You're not being serious."
"No," she muttered, "But I would like to be left alone."
Christopher took a step away from her, staring up at the stars.
"That's not what I meant, I meant like all alone, not alone like you're looking the other way."
"I'm not leaving you," he said.
"Good, 'cause my intention was to leave you."
He turned.
"I was gonna dump you."
"Why?"
"I don't want to go out with you, isn't that much obvious."
"Now I know you're not being serious."
"No," she smiled, "I'm not."
Christopher laughed, "I cannot believe you're joking."
"Hey, it's what I do best."
"But now?"
Lorelai pulled herself to sit against the cold steel that separated her from the edge of steep hill. She glanced up when the car drove by her, blaring rock music from all the open windows. "Idiots," she whispered.
Christopher sat next to her, taking her hand in his. "I know you're freaked out right now..."
"That doesn't begin to explain what I feel like right now."
"Which is why I promise I'll stay by your side."
Lorelai looked up at him, "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you want to spend the rest of your life with me and I'll marry you."
Christopher stared into her eyes, but he only swallowed.
"We both want more out of life. I know that; you know that."
He squeezed her arm, glancing sideways when he heard tires screeching. "Kids..." he trailed.
"Yeah," she agreed. "They're a handful."
"But will you be ok?"
"I'll be fine, and it's not like I'm kicking you out of my life, out of our child's, I'm just saying that I don't think it's right for either of us to be tied down like that. You shouldn't be tied down like that."
"But I'm responsible..."
"Yes, but I've made up my mind." She laughed, "You know what that means."
"There's no changing it."
Lorelai nodded. "You wanna walk me down the road some, we can call a cab down at a gas station or something."
"I think your parents need a little more time."
She rolled her eyes, "Well, I wasn't suggesting we rush straight back. Tell me about the repairs you've done to your motorcycle in the last twenty four hours, that'll keep us occupied for a couple of hours."
He smiled, watching her begin to walk down the street, her dirty dress ripped and hanging near the bottom, but she was still beautiful. Christopher stood, jogging to catch up with her, hoping that as much as she wanted him to move on, that she wouldn't mind if he stepped back in every once in a while to see how she was doing.
* * * * *
Gilmore Residence
Next Morning
Lorelai opened her eyes to darkness. It was raining outside she knew, she could hear the rain slamming on the rooftop relentlessly. Frowning, she pushed her covers off with her feet, feeling oddly comfortable for the first time since the day before she found out she was pregnant. For the first time she was able to freely pull up her shirt and touch her belly without fear her mother would barge into the room at that moment.
It was small, but it was there, that lump that Lorelai knew was her baby. She knew she was thin, but she'd been to free clinics the last month and knew they were both healthy and that's all she cared about, though after the emotional trauma from the night before, she was afraid her child was going to come out emotionally scarred by her parents. Lorelai laughed, imagining Richard and Emily with a grandchild. Then she grew serious and pulled herself out of bed and into the bathroom.
It was quiet in the house. Not even a maid cleaning, she observed. Her parents weren't awake, she knew, glancing into their bedroom. It WAS the weekend. She'd come in after they were asleep and hadn't woken them. It was three in the morning. The guests were all gone and a pile of presents remained on a table in the living room. She smiled at them, knowing it was probably the last time she was going to see them there like that.
"Lorelai," her mother's voice came weakly from the top of the stairs.
Turning, she looked up at her mother, almost still afraid. "I'm leaving."
"I figured as much."
"You're not opposing this?" Lorelai questioned.
"Is there really a way to stop you?"
Lorelai shook her head.
Emily came down several steps, "I know we have our differences," she sniffled slightly, "But this will be my grandchild."
"I understand how this all works, I know the stork story, just a cover." Lorelai smiled, watching her mother's lips turn upward for a fraction of a second.
"I want to see my grandchild."
"I'm not moving to another country," Lorelai laughed.
"I know that," Emily said seriously, "Where are you going?"
Lorelai smiled, "I have an idea, it won't be far."
"Good," Emily admitted.
Walking towards the presents, Lorelai quickly found the brightly wrapped package from Ashley and ripped it open, staring at the Hello Kitty shirt that lay tucked inside. She smiled, turning to show her mother, who stared at it seriously. "What?" Lorelai asked, lowering her eyebrows.
* * * * *
Gilmore Residence
Today
Rory heard her mother's voice calling her name and she turned, opening her eyes slowly as her mother removed the diary from her hands. Lorelai stared down at the last entry and then pried the shirt from her daughter's hands. They stared at one another a moment, neither sure of what to say. Then Lorelai smiled, telling her daughter calmly,
"You've been up here for hours. I was starting to worry about you."
Pointing at the diary, Rory stated, "Reading. Sorry."
"Not a big deal, everyone needs to read their parents biggest secrets some day."
Rory bit her bottom lip. "Yeah, I know, but I did it without your permission."
Lorelai kissed Rory's forehead, "Don't worry sweety, I'm not mad at you."
"Oh, I know that, I just feel wrong, like I invaded your privacy."
Widening her eyes, Lorelai glanced at her child and said matter-of-factly, "I gave birth to you, I don't think there's anything that could invade my privacy more."
Rory laughed, turning to place the items back in the box that had fallen over. "You know, it ends abruptly."
Lorelai smiled, shrugging her shoulders. "I didn't have anything to write about for a long time, and when I had you, well, then there was no time to write."
Rory nodded, standing with her mother, who hugged the shirt. "What happened to Ashley?"
Lorelai stared down at the floor, then looked back up at Rory, taking a deep breath. "She got hit by a car trying to find me. I didn't find out until my mom told me the next morning."
"Oh," Rory said simply, not really knowing what to say.
"Yeah," Lorelai stated, her face blank, but Rory could read her eyes. There was pain behind them at that moment that Rory wished she'd never have to feel.
"You must miss her."
Licking her lips, Lorelai sighed, "All the time. I had to go through my whole pregnancy with hardly anyone to talk to. Didn't meet Sookie until years later and Luke, he sorta disappeared for a while when his dad started getting sick."
"That musta sucked."
"Yeah," Lorelai agreed. "But it was ok when you were born." She smiled, "See, you made everything better."
"Yah me," Rory cheered herself.
"Sometimes, when I look at you, or even talk to you, you remind me of Ashley."
"Doesn't that bother?"
Lorelai's eyes widened again, "No, it's good."
Rory looked at the floor, confused. "How? I'd think it'd be painful. I know it'd be painful if Lane died and my kid reminded me of Lane."
"It'd also be confusing, seeing as Lane's Korean." Then Lorelai scoffed, "Would you rather say you remind me of your grandmother."
Rory shook her head vehemently, "No."
Lorelai took a step towards the door. "Good, now we're going to eat, unless you'd like to take a nap in my old pregnancy clothes now. I'm sure they're up here somewhere waiting to be burned."
"Ok, lemme just put these books away. We're going to Luke's right?"
"Where the hell else would we go?" Lorelai threw her hands up and let them slap against her jeans.
Rory smiled, "You know, you talked about Luke in here."
"Remember, at the time, I was a hormone driven teenager."
Standing, Rory watched her mother walking slowly from the room, "Hey, don't try to escape this one, mom, you liked Luke when you were dating my dad? That's kinda sick."
"I'm not going to talk about this," Lorelai shouted from the stairs, "Now you'd better get your Nancy Drew butt down here or it's going to starve because I ate the last of what was in the fridge while I was cleaning the kitchen..." she trailed.
"MOM!" Rory whined.
"Nope! No food for Rory, and all because she had to stick her cute little nose where it didn't belong. How tragic..." Lorelai sighed, "Teenager found dead of curiosity, on the next... HERALDO!" Lorelai snickered, grabbing her jacket.
"MOM!" Rory shouted again, laughing as she ran downstairs.
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Ok, I'm sure Lorelai didn't meet Luke like that, but it's a crutch, it's a horrible crutch I fall back on, them, their conversations. It's like a drug, it is... Anyway, I appreciate all feedback, preferable long with quotes and stuff. Pretend this is a class here! ;)
Mystic
mysticxf@aol.com
// PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4 //