XENIA wrote:
Here's a forward from that wellspring of veracity, the Enquirer:
DAVID DUCHOVNY's two-month marriage to actress TEA LEONI has apparently
already run into problems - because the hunky TV star's ex-girlfriends keep
calling him at home. Insiders say the newlyweds are constantly bickering
over the attention the X-FILES hearthrob gets from sexy young women,
including former flames who often ring him up for a chat. A pal reveals,
"Tea gets very jealous whenever the phone rings because it's usually for
David - and the caller is often a woman with a soft husky voice." FLIRTING
WITH DISASTER star Leoni is particularly upset over Duchovny's continued
relationship with a 21-year-old ex-girlfriend, reports the NATIONAL ENQUIRER.
Okay, which one of you with a soft, husky voice keeps calling David?
*LIONESS raises a paw*:
Well, I didn't want to have to admit it, but it's been me that he has *really* loved all along.
He just married that Tea chick to keep the media off of our backs. *predatorially smug lioness grin*
lioness the wishful-thinking tiger sharkette
SLINK:
the guy just doesn't know what he's missing! he could have his own
private little harem so that no matter where he goes - LA, NY, chicago,
VA, NC - he could have willing, caring women just waiting to attend to
his various... shall we say... proclivities... remember, he's not a sex
*addict* but an *aficionado*...
"just call me madam" slink
LIONESS:
Hey, I'm more than happy to help him with his...proclivities. Maybe we
can turn him into an addict after all. *husky little lioness chuckle*
lioness the smoothing the wrinkles out of her whip tiger sharkette
SLINK:
oooh, we just loooove it when he's been a baaaad boy...
& so does he, i'm sure... ;-P
mistress slink, putting on her dominatrix boots...
LIONESS:
Oh, let me help you lace those up, slink.
SLINK:
maybe we should let our obedient little slave do that...
LIONESS:
Yeah, but he slobbers all over them when he does....
SLINK:
but that's all part of the game, lioness: he slobbers & then we get to
punish him for being a messy slave...
LIONESS:
Just make sure that you make him clean up your boots afterward.
SLINK:
the naughty little slave gets to clean his mistress' boots with his
tongue. if he does a *very* good job (and rinses his mouth, maybe with a
little of xenia's chilling champagne, hm?) then his reward is that he
gets to use his obedient tongue to please his mistress in other ways...
LIONESS:
*lioness starts to throw stuff around as she searches through a huge
wooden chest* Okay, who stole the mink oil to loosen up my leather cuffs
and collar? These things get so stiff unless they're worked hard with
good oil.
SLINK:
are you sure you're talking about leather cuffs & collar...?
XENIA:
Okay, y'all can have him when he's bad; I want him when he's GOOD.
Xenia, airing the silk sheets and putting a bottle of champagne in to chill
SLINK:
when he's good, he's very very good, but when he's bad he's better...
;-P
LIONESS:
Anyone can have a GOOD boy. A BAD boy is sooooo much more fun and
just so frisky (especially when they have been bad and need to
be punished). *lioness fans herself* Sure is warm in here.
Xenia:
Now y'all suit yourselves, and have a splendid time, too! But some like
chocolate, and some like vanilla, and some like a little taste of each. I'm
just ready to look after our mutual friend when he's in the mood for
something a shade old-fashioned and sweet.
That reminds me, better check on the supplies of Maker's Mark and fresh mint ...
Xenia, smiling serenely, with the AC full blast
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