The Untimely Death of Children

(Granger): The untimely death of young children and babies is indeed a very difficult subject with which parents and family are at times required to cope. I suppose that in all the experiences of physical life there is none more difficult to accept and understand. If we can give any relief to those who have to accept and cope with this situation, it will indeed have been a great Easter Morning for us. You need to understand that many in this group (The Starters), while living on earth, had to cope with this very experience. What you receive here this morning comes from an understanding heart, as well as from the mind; we know by experience of what we speak. The death of a young child is such a tragedy in human terms that it is difficult to write about it objectively, even from this side where we are able to see the whole drama of life and death in such more complete terms. Death is such a terrible experience to the mind while on earth; the death of a child is just about the bottom line for grief and anxiety. We agree with you, however, if we are going to write this material at all, we will cope with the whole scene. We will do our best here to give understanding. The pain, we cannot remove completely, but we can give much reassurance.

Whenever a person is faced with death, a series of questions arise: "Is this planned for me? Has my time to die come? Is there something of an unplanned accident in this death? Could it have been avoided or delayed?" These are the questions asked many times over. The answers are complex because life is complex. No off-the-cuff answer will suffice; no one-liner will meet the need here, but we give what we know. The event of physical death may be an arrangement between the personality and the High-soul of that individual. No one ever enters the experience of death, without the pre-awareness of the soul. The soul will normally enter the scene at death through the personality, once the physical body has been separated from the mind and personality. As you already know, it is possible, on occasion, to have the personality and the mind leave the physical body for a short period of "death," to be returned within a very short time. Death, in this situation, may very well have taken place for a very short period. Now this experience is not to be confused at all with out-of-body experience, which is a rather common and natural experience. The two are very different. In out-of-body experience, the mind and personality are still in full communication with the brain, and are still giving life-energy to the body. In the death experience, no further contact with the body exists. The body has served its intended purpose and should be properly set aside for burial or cremation.

From over here, we look with dismal dismay at the expense laid on for the burial of a dead body. Why in Heaven's name not spend the money on someone or something still living ...plant trees, donate money to charity, give to ecology, help those who are sick ...do anything with your money in memory of your loved one, but please, do not bury it in the ground or spend it on headstones. The entire earth cries out for help in so many ways; how much better to plant a hundred trees to the memory of a loved one than to spend the money on a useless headstone.

We are projecting strong personal opinions here, but we must tell you that some in this very group (The Starters) have unbelievable monuments erected to honour their memory after physical death. Today, as they look back on the earth, they would give almost anything to be able to change that monument into some form of living memory in the earth, in their name and honour. Forests, parks, gardens that grow and live; organizations that continue to help those in need, these are the things to support in memory. A gift to a heart or cancer research foundation, for example, is a beautiful form of memory. But do not bury the remembrance in the ground or spend it on a useless monument. No body needs more than a plain box and a marker to identify its location.

The body is not the person. The body is a beautiful vehicle, with a human brain, through which life on earth is maintained, but it is not the I of the I-AM of the person. The I-AM of the person is still very much alive and active, and moving on to new life experience without the body. Please understand that.

When a child experiences death the question in the mind is, "Why so young?" Why does a child or a baby die so soon after birth? There is a reason for each death at this young age, but that is not to say that it was the plan of the soul or the intent of the personality. The reason for the death is not a neat little answer; there are many reasons. First, it is usually intended that each person will live a rather long life on earth. All factors being granted, the person will usually live to an older age, some of course older than others. When a child or baby dies, the cause is usually the result of some physical condition. Or it may be the result of some psychic condition related to the purpose of the soul. It may be that the conditions presented in the earth were not in harmony with the purpose of the soul. It may be that the objectives of the soul cannot be achieved in this life pattern for some reason.

You must understand that souls, while very powerful and resourceful, are not dictators. If the pattern or purpose of two souls conflict in the earth, one soul may agree to withdraw from that scene. In that situation the person of that soul may develop a situation to bring about physical death. Now, while this is a grief to the parents and loved ones, it is a normal, healthy change of plan, the better to achieve objectives of the soul. The personality or identity of that child is never, not ever, lost. It will be aware always of its having been in the earth; it will be aware always of those it related to in the earth; it will recognize always those of the family and loved ones on earth. Nothing is ever lost in consciousness.

When a child dies, for whatever reason, the pattern and purpose of that life will be continued in this plane. We see the personality of the child or baby here, just as it lived in the earth. Not one single moment of consciousness is lost in this transition, as we like to call it. Understand that it is very difficult to see a new personality arrive on this plane, well and healthy now, and think of the experience in terms of death.

When a child or baby dies, the reason may have nothing whatsoever to do with the parents or home in physical terms. The needs for the development of that child's personality simply may not be available in the physical life. We see parents in grief, feeling guilt: "Why was our child taken away?" The pat answer is: "It was the will of God." Now God, it seems, gets blamed for just about everything that is undesirable in the earth. "An Act of God" is even an old legal term! Remember that God, per se, did not make the decision to remove the child from the earth-scene. Stop blaming everything that happens on God, it is so childish. The soul and the personality of the child, they together may agree that the life-pattern of the personality can better be served by changing the scene of life from the physical. The idea that, "God has taken my child away from me," is very misleading, and presents great confusion in the mind of the parent or parents.

There are answers to many questions concerning the death of a child. Some answers, however, may reside so deeply within the soul and mind of that individual that the reasons may not be available to us. We may not be able to examine the deeper material from a study-case point of view. All information for every situation may not be available to us; we work with what is open and available. The parents, under normal circumstance, if they have given normal love and care in the role of parents, should feel no guilt or question, "Why did God allow this to happen?" We have explained that the personality of the child will continue to grow, in full recognition of the love and concern of the parents.

We did explain in earlier writing, that the best and most helpful way for anyone to assist any loved one who dies, is to send out good positive thoughts. Energy from those thoughts will lift the personality in the transition from earth to this plane, where the personality will continue to develop. We would like to point out once more, to those who have lost children in particular, that the greatest thing you can do for your child is to give good healthy energy in the form of thought-patterns, presented in normal healthy love to the child. You may rest assured that your thought-energy will be received, and used, by that very child in his or her development. We want to reemphasize the need and value of good positive thinking from loved ones on earth. Your opportunity as parents to provide love to a child does not cease nor is it cut-off at physical death.

We want to emphasize the other side of this opportunity, where too much grief, extended over a long period of time, is not helpful to the child, and may be holding him or her back from development. Just as love and positive thinking gives the child energy to work from, negative grief and longing to pull the child back will hold him or her back from following the program of development (which we are going to describe for you later in the morning).

Learn to open your mind and your love; open the windows of your soul. You are not by any means confined to your present life, in your present physical body. Trust the mind and pattern of life and consciousness; allow your own mind and your own will to open to the much larger realities of consciousness. If you will take this step in your own personal development and awareness, you will soon become aware that your child is as real and as alive as he or she ever was.

Remember we too once were parents; we too once lived in the earth; we too know of the condition of anguish of a parent who has lost a child. Believe me, we are no "flock of gilded angels" sitting above the pain and sorrow of earth. We speak from what we know. We have walked in your paths of pain and sorrow. Yet we would advise you not to grieve unduly for your child. Send positive love and good will and energy that will allow the child to grow and follow the path set out for him or her.

If it comes natural to you to pray, by all means pray for your child. But pray from your mind and from your own heart. Pray in your own words, as they express your own feelings and thoughts. Do not practice any pattern of saying artificial prayers, beautifully worded by some saint of times past; pray as you think and feel in your own being. This form of praying will be well received, and the energy, given in love, will result in the best of all possible gifts to your child, who continues to love you in return as he or she grows and develops.

We do not recommend that you follow the pattern of going from psychic reader to psychic medium, to obtain messages from or about your child, or any other loved one. This is not the best or healthiest way, in our opinion, for you to go. We have no criticism of any good psychic or medium, that is not the point. If you do get a message of this type, accept it in your own mind for what it seems to be. It may very well be a good and valid message. But we do not believe you should, or need to, follow this course to help your child. You should learn to work your way through your own grief to reach the point where you can accept the premature death of your child in physical terms, knowing full well that the child lives on in the full flow of growth and life and development in other planes of life.

Understand that there is no loss of awareness, nor change of personality at the time of physical death. Only where someone suffers some physical or mental affliction is there any change. The psychic mind and body will contain all the good health and complete mental awareness inherent in the original personality-pattern designed by the soul prior to physical birth. No soul ever designs or develops an afflicted personality. Any defect encountered in the physical body or brain prior to or following physical birth is dropped away -- with the physical body and brain -- at the time of physical death. Now this is no, "in our opinion" statement. It is a statement of fact that may be accepted with no doubt whatsoever by any parent or loved one remaining on earth. The child that comes over here is well received and in very good care indeed.

Each child will be received by those dedicated to this work for care and development of children. Each child will be developed along the lines assigned by the soul to that personality. The inherited characteristics of the genes from the physical body will continue to influence, and to shape the personality. Nothing in nature is thrown away or lost. Patterns will be changed and developed as they are needed to grow, but nothing is dropped.

Today, at this moment, we observe many children here being developed, trained, and directed in patterns of growth. We would like to be able to send an image of this activity to earth, in visual terms, allowing each parent who grieves for a child to see this activity.