"I have an imaginary girlfriend. She's a real person, she just isn't really my girlfriend." my friend SHAWN had this on his profile. isn't that weird? and of course he won't tell me who this girl is. what a bunghole. and he said it's not that i know her, it's just i might know someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows her. or something to that extent. can u believe that?? what a strange one.

so i guess i'll talk about my imaginary boyfriend. there's no potential guy right now~ i mean, i have a lot of guy friends, but i don't think i'll end up w/them. except for albert. there might be something with him in the distant future, but that's only cuz we made a pact..that if neither of us are married at the age of 69 (yeah, i know), then we'll get married so we won't hafta be lonely. it was originally like...30 or 40. then he said that was too soon (thanks, albert...geez) so he made it 70. then he said, as he was laughing, that he's planning to die at age 69 n/e ways. ERF! i got so mad that he said fine, we'll get married at 69. it's not that we have nasty minds or n/e thing...i swear~ :)

n/e wayz...so this guy...my future "man." u know...i wrote a list once...of all the qualities i wanted in a guy. i mean...i kept this diary a long time ago (and sometimes janet read my entries and wrote in this diary also) and at the beginning of it is this list. i left extra space so i could keep adding, if necessary. and i used to pray for a guy with those qualities. of course, i have the usual: sensitive, but not too sensitive, buff, intelligent, sweet, loves kids, etc. but..of course some of those things are just qualities i look for in friends. not that i require all my friends to be buff or n/e thing, but u know...

i guess one of the main things is...that we have to be compatible. (i know you're thinking "DUH"). but...we don't have to like all the same things. we don't have to always think the same. but...i want for us...to just...click, i guess. there have been a few people that i knew from the beginning...i just clicked w/them. and they're not all guys. no, i don't "play on both teams," but i'm just saying, as people~ we should click. some similar interests here and there...and some different ones to make it interesting. similar cultural backgrounds would help a lot. i'm not saying he HAS to be korean or HAS to be asian or anything, but that certainly wouldn't hurt.

i like guys who can intellectually stimulate me. it doesn't really take much to do so, but then again, i haven't really found a LOT of guys who can really do that for me (sorry guys, i'm not totally dissing you here). there are certain things i like talking & thinking about...and if a guy can turn me on to that, there's no stopping me. it's totally a turn-on. i like guys who have intelligent things to say...but they don't have to be pricks about it. they can give their input in a sophisticated/witty way. and that'll be the end of it. i like guys who can shut me up w/something witty. but not in a way that'll put me down. it's really quite delicate and complicated. as am i. shut up...i am.

and of COURSE he has to be christian. no doubt. he has to love God...dare i say it...even more than he loves me! there..i've said it. but forreals. he does. otherwise, it won't work out. it just won't. no exceptions. bottom line.

as for physical characteristics, which definately aren't as important, i like tall guys. i'm sorry, but if a guy's tall (tall means at least 6'2" ... and not too tall, like 7') then it catches my attention right away. i'm blinded by height. i mean...not completely. but for the most part. i used to have a thing for brian kang, who is 6'6"~ mainly cuz of his height..and of course his devastatingly good looks. HAH! j/p. forreals tho..he's a qt patootie. unfortunately, he was a freshie when i was a junior so i couldn't ask him to backwards. he claims he would have gone w/me, but i don't believe him. whenever he calls me "beautiful" or something along the lines of that, i laugh it off.

of course, i like guys that are at least somewhat good-looking. but...not movie-star good-looking. i think...if i were going out with or married to a guy that was incredibly good-looking, i'd be so insecure about losing him that it would ruin the relationship. of course, to me, he'll be the best looking guy i know no matter what, but c'mon...u know what i'm saying? iono. he can't be a player. and i don't like conceited guys. and snobs.

dang...there's so much more! hahaha. for instance, i want a guy that'll want & love kids. with me. and only me. i want about 5 kids, but of course that might change. if i find the perfect guy and he doesn't want kids, i'm not going to cast him away...and tell him i can't marry him, but i'm just hoping that he will want kids. and i want a guy that'll get along w/my family. but that's not hard. my family's easy to love. and my family loves ppl easily. :) i also hope this dood'll want pets.

ok...i guess...if this is all gunna work out, we're gunna hafta be rich. but...with me becoming a teacher...we can't have everything i want on a teacher's salary. so i'm not saying he has to be rich, but hopefully, we can work it out. i don't want a guy that'll be away at his job 24-7 tho. (i'm totally joking about the guy having to be rich, k?)

don't judge me cuz of what i want in a guy. this is all ideal. i mean...when do things really work out exactly like you want them to? like i said, i'm not gunna reject a guy just cuz he doesn't live up to these standards. i'm sure i don't meet up to even half of n/e guy's standards out there. but...it's my dream~ so leave it alone~!!

p.s.
at one point, i thought i might have found the guy. isn't that silly? but i realized that i was sooooooo wrong. *whew* thank goodness

p.p.s.
(posted 10.19.01)
i found out who shawn's imaginary gf is...heehee..wouldn't u like to know? hehe..ok sorry, shawn. i promised i wouldn't make a big deal out of it. i won't...n/e more :)