COLUMNS:
Britney's prefab, lip-synched, all-style pop show
By JEFF MIERS
News Pop Music Critic
6/27/2002
Plastic.
That word was in my head from the time I emerged from my car and began making my way toward HSBC Arena.
Plastic.
I had been reflecting on the phenomenon that is Britney Spears in preparation for Wednesday night's show, and the word kept presenting itself like some unwanted guest.
Plastic.
It probably didn't help that, on the way down to the arena, I had a CD by seminal blues artist Jimmy Reed cranked - and I mean cranked, to the point where traffic light stops became embarrassing - on the way to the show. Reed, after all, is a master of the sort of stripped-down, primal, front-porch blues that inspired a whole generation of rock 'n' roll bands to pursue their rough-and-tumble dreams. Reed's music is so real that it scares you; you wonder how much closer to the earth an artist can get without being buried beneath it.
But tonight, I wasn't going to see a blues show, or even a rock 'n' roll show, for that matter. I was on my way to a show by teen pop sensation Britney Spears.
One can't get much further from Jimmy Reed.
Plastic.
I slapped the new Spears disc i nto the player and let it wash over me.
Wow. What happened? Where are we? What does this mean? Well, nothing, really. The question isn't, "What does Britney mean?" but rather, "How does a 34-year-old man who still believes that the Beatles' "Rubber Soul' blows the doors off of nearly every popular music record released since, find a place for Britney Spears' assembly- line pop in his world-weary soul?"
The answer, of course, is that he doesn't.
Wednesday night, Spears proved to a nearly sold-out HSBC Arena that style can indeed triumph over substance. Music? This had nothing to do with such archaic concepts. This was MTV come to life, reality TV for a generation that never knew what it was like for pop to dirty-dance with art. Last night's show offered proof positive that, for an entire generation, music has become so much wallpaper for a lifestyle centered around looking good and saying nothing. Why not? For many, music can be had for free, via illegal downloads.Why should it pretend to be anything other than the aural equivalent of a TV sitcom?
Spears took the stage amid a firestorm of explosions, dry ice and thunderous pretaped sound effects. "Oops! . . . I Did It Again" was her first number, and it was clear from the outset of that song that Spears was lip-synching her vocal parts to prerecorded tapes.
Of course, no one cared. They had come to see a spectacle, and that's just what they got.
Surrounded by a sea of dancers, Spears shimmied and shook with all the fire she could muster, considering the show was entirely scripted.
Spears stuck primarily to songs from her latest, self-titled album. "Overprotected" found her claiming to be misunderstood, "not a girl, but not yet a woman." Considering that Spears spent most of the evening summoning the ambience of a seedy strip joint, the song's sentiment was far from believable.
Backed by a five-piece band and two background vocalists -they added the lion's share of the evening's vocal muscle - Spears failed to make any emotional connection with her rapt audience. The crowd, composed mainly of girls and women, screamed for her attention, to no avail. Britney was sticking to the script, God bless her. Even her "intimate" moments seemed totally prefabricated, particularly when she prefaced a "brand - new" bluesy number with an "I'm at a very confused point on my life"rap.
Oh, brother.
A saucy "Overprotected" was the highlight of the evening, but it wasn't much of one; once again, the music- in point of fact, the product of a group that sounded like an only slightly above-average dance-pop bar band - was over-shadowed by excessively choreographed dance routines.
Throughout the show, the pacing was plagued by lengthy breaks between numbers, presumably scripted in so that Spears would have time to change into her next slinky costume. The breaks greatly inhibited the pacing of the show, but those in the crowd waved their Britney-emblazoned glow-sticks nonetheless.
"I wouldn't be here if she was not so good-looking," said one 20-something attendee who identified himself only as Dave. "This isn't the kind of music I actually enjoy."
Dear Britney,
like omg why are you and your mom alwayz so "close" in pictures
like REALLY close? Lordy, my mama and I are TOTALLY close! Like, it's like
we have this special bond or whatever.
It's totally weird, like, we totally know when the other needs us or whatever, and we'll call each other and be like, "I was just thinking of you." It's totally weird, ya know?
Dear Britney,
Oh britney why are u such a stupid whore......and why in the world are u such
a slut.......love ya bye.
*blinks* I totally don't know, like, what you are asking so it's like hard for me to try and answer you, or whatever, so, like , please rephrase your question and, ya know, use a question mark at the end so I, like, will know where the question is! Thanks hun!
Dear Britney,
I just got back from your concert and it was OFF THE HOOK! You have awesome
dance moves *tee hee* but I was wondering why your lips weren't moving some
of the time when I heard you singing?!
Aww thanks! I'm totally glad you have fun or what ever. I sing ALL of my songs live ya know so it was probably only because, ya know, the monitor was off so it looked like I wasn't singing, but it's, like, a couple seconds behind sometimes, so it messes up the picture, ya know, and makes it look like I'm not actually singing. But don't worry, I totally love singing, it's, like, my LIFE and I would never give it up, ya know, just to put on a good show. I consider myself, like, a singer before anything else!
"Remember the Spice Girls? How they were huge and then never were heard
from again? That's Britney Spears. She'll be gone soon. Once America learns
what talent is."
- Toryn Michaels
Concert - looks like a strip-club to me, yet under 18 allowed, in face, they are encouraged
"When I perform on stage, I'm totally playing dress-up. I don't dress like that in my everyday life - if you saw me at home, you'd see me wearing sweat pants and T-shirts and sneakers. But when I'm on stage, I like to dress-up." - Britney Spears
I HATE it when people rationalize their behavior- the least they can do is take responsibility for their actions! We've seen Brit in her "everyday life" going shopping and she STILL hardly wears real clothes! She talks about how she always walks around her house NAKED, so how is that sweat pants and a T-shirt? Not to mention how children don't see her at home, they still her ALWAYS showing off her body, touching herself and performing like the girl down at the strip club! They don't know that is NOT how girls normally dress and she NEVER makes an attempt while she's performing to make that clear! She loves to be talked about and since she can't sing AT ALL, she relies on her body! Why can't she just admit that and stop being such a spoiled brat and pretend she's something she's not? Yes, she's 'not a girl' but she has lotsof girls looking up to her & instead of providing a healthy role model for them & being respectful to herself, she trips and acts like a stripper! That is not something ANY female should be proud of and NO guy would want to settle down her with. She's an easy one-night affair & nothing more & that's the image she presents and children learn from. I'm around kids a lot and I see how she affects their beliefs on their body and how to get boys to notice them. Her image is degrading & I'm sick of her pretending she hasn't done anything wrong! She's the one acting like that so she should be the one to explain her behavior to children.
- venting over -