Martha (Marsi) Scherer

This community consists of people from all walks of life, people eking out a living on disability checks, professionals in medical offices and college campuses, college students and young children, people working at McDonald's and in their homes. We hail from all over the U.S.A., Canada, and the U.K. and from as far away as Namibia, South Africa, Brazil, and Australia. Marsi was active within our midst in the depression forums as well as the fibromyalgia forums.

Marsi came to each of us with respect and compassion. Time and time again, our members have spoken of her as the first to greet them upon their initial visit to our message board or chat room. Her greetings drew us out, made us comfortable to talk, to share our problems, to seek for comfort, help, or solace. Even when we knew Marsi was hurting and dealing herself with this beast of depression, she would shrug off that cloak and hasten to the side of a new arrival. Her ability to listen and her patience, to hear the outpourings of a heart in pain, was phenomenal. Her posts to the board and comments in chat were unfailingly positive and supportive. Some of us are not well-spoken. Some of us lash out at others at times in our despair. Yet Marsi looked past our imperfections and endeavored to help us heal. At times, some of us hurt so much and so deeply that we needed extended time to talk things out, sometimes we needed to be talked away from the brink of self-destruction. We don't know where Marsi found that time, but she was there so often that we still expect her there. Some of our friends in Australia mentioned her willingness to come to them at the odd times that the difference in time zones presented. She would get up earlier in the morning to touch bases with her "Aussie crowd" before her shower. We will always remember her consistency and fairness, her persistence to help.

Her great intelligence, the fount of knowledge and wisdom she shared with us was unstinting. People with questions about medicines and therapy knew quickly to come to Marsi for direction to appropriate resources. Her wisdom manifested itself so often as she drove to the heart of a budding controversy or conflict and chose just the right words, just the right strategy, for resolution. She seemed to know exactly when to speak softly, and exactly when we needed to be scolded.

But we also knew Marsi as our partner in fun. During our online parties, pun sessions, joking times, we always seemed to find Marsi in our midst, giving as well as taking. She reveled in a good joke, whether it was at her expense or whether she was the initiator. Fuzzy navels and patent leather shoes. At times we'd open our email in the morning and find a gem from her. How many office coffee breaks were enriched by those emails being printed out and distributed is beyond our knowledge.

Marsi shared with us her creativity and love of the arts. She shared with us some of her poetry and writing on our Personal Expression Board. She spoke often of her love of dancing and music. She encouraged us to find beauty in our lives. She modeled that beauty in her very being.

Marsi's entire life and actions affirmed life. She loved it, she preached it, she lived it. She helped us to relearn to love and live life, too.

But we also knew of Marsi's demons. She hid from most of us the depths to which this disease took her. But we knew from the very fact that she was within our midst that she was one of us. She shared with a few of us those depths, making us marvel all the more at the compassion and energy to help that she exhibited to one and all. She sought help and solace here, but not nearly as often as she offered it. She sought it all too infrequently.

Marsi's death has had a profound impact upon our community. We share your grief, your sense of loss. That loss is no less nor greater in cyberspace; it is merely different. One thread has arisen from our outpourings and tributes to Marsi -- that we shall celebrate and seek to emulate her spirit of compassion, her reaching out to all despite their imperfections, her wisdom, her life. One member said that in this past week he has tried to live life with a sense of softness that he noted in Marsi. Another woman whom Marsi helped repeatedly has sought the medical help she desperately needs in order to live her life. If there is one lesson that we all need to take from Marsi's death, it is that we must not be afraid to seek out the help we need. Marsi's final action has taken on a life of its own, a thread of consciousness anew that runs through all of us, that can strengthen us to live more purposeful, more thoughtful, gracious and kinder lives.

When Marsi passed away on April 19, 1999 all of her friends in SHN got together to post eulogies and share memories about her.  Jim (Roadkill) wrote the above eulogy.  We needed someone who could go to Marsi's memorial and read it and Carolyn (Chamomile) volunteered.  She had only found out that Marsi lived very close to her 4 month before yet she had no hesitation about representing our group.  Another member of our community (Mike) drove to the memorial from Louisiana and reported that Carolyn stood up and did such a great job .  They went back to Marsi's mom's  house and stayed the afternoon talking and sharing memories about her.

 What many in our group did not know was that Carolyn was in so much pain physically, and emotionally with the death of her friend.  She had to drive past Marsi's apartment and see it empty.  She befriended Marsi's mom and sister helping them in any way she could.  She never mentioned this in chat or in a post.  Only those who knew Carolyn personally knew the pain she was in. The school where Marsi worked sent Carolyn things they had put together about their friend and college.  On each anniversary since then Carolyn fought so hard to keep herself afloat emotionally.  Now they are together and one can imagine the endless jokes and love that is shared much like it was when they went out walking together.

PRINT FRIENDLY VERSION

 The midi you are listening to is "Don't Go" by Yuko Ohigashi
You can read more about this amazing young woman HERE