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Negative Behavior...
People get scared sometimes; of their future. I mean, everyone wants to get ahead; nobody wants to fail (whatever that
term means to them). And because of that, they oftentimes listen to the wrong type of advice on how to behave. That could
be anything from peer pressure, to a misconcepted principle from someone you trust, or a misconcepted principle you grew
up with. Many people already know what I have to say here, but I just thought this should serve as a reminder...
Here's a principle I know is misconcepted by almost everyone. Hasad (The Evil Eye thing.) Even some of the most level minded people have trouble remembering that no one can send out invisible rays and cause whatever good you have to come tumbling down once they know of it, and at the same time there is a proper definition to Hasad. First, you have to know, there is Hasad and there is Ghebtah. Ghebta is wanting to be like someone else and that's good (mostahab in Islam.). Hasad is wishing the person would lose the good s/he has, and that's haram. So what hasad really does is that it opens way for Shaitan (duh, it's haram, right?), and more harm comes from that. And, I wouldn't like Satan's activities high in the neighborhood and him lurking around to get me. And of course, since it's haram, the person to receive most harm is the hased. It's enough s/he's not at peace. It is generally not a good thing to have people hold a grudge against you tho. Besides, it could grow and might turn into material hurt. And that's where modesty comes in; don't provoke people. That's the real reason why you shouldn't blabber about what you have, modesty folks. You shouldn't hide, and you shouldn't count your chickens before their hatched either. You get a plus for being modest (I mean hasanat). Of course, if some people envy you always, that's their problem, and they cannot hurt you any other way than directly within normal human capabilities. And about the grudges people get, sometimes they start insinuating maliciously at one another (ye lasennoh). Personally, I wouldn't answer back. And it's not being weak or selfless; it's to your advantage. I've found that when people start doing that and they find that I don't answer and that I'm much more candid or helpful, they'd at least quit, if not start acting nicely. Nobody needs enemies if they can help it, and nobody would hurt someone that helped them. There's this scene in the movie "The Shawshank Redemption", where Andy the new guy gets beat every once in a while in prison and the rest don't talk to him, and after all that he manages to get them a round of beer in return for his making the mean old officer a big favor, and how do you think they feel? That was a smart move, he got everyone on his side, and those that decided to beat him up afterwards where left barely alive later by the officer.
And from that I think I should tell you about three things I believe: Some people believe that in order to get along in life you have to be a little cruel. You need to step over people, be a little mean. With everyone acting that way, sometimes you'd feel rather odd and wonder if you won't be stepped over all the time. I think that's why it's such an epidemic; everyone's afraid. But, no, that can't be the way to go. Ok, maybe I've been very sheltered so far, but almost everyone I've seen that acts that way strikes me as being VERY afraid of failure, and they're not as well off as the rule implies. I think it's because they're never at ease since their always worrying whether they're not being cruel enough and wondering why the other guy has more than they do. Then again, you get what you give. People, there's this saying how life doesn't come easily, and you need to fight to get ahead. But I don't think that attitude's what was really meant by survival of the fittest. You get ahead by being capable, confident, and working hard and smart to be the best you can be. You get there by having faith. And you're not fooling anyone. No matter what people say, no matter what you do to hide it, what you really are comes out in the open. Some people see it differently that's all. So, really, don't bother faking. Don't bother arguing the truth; it already shows. Those who want to see it will see it and those who don't want to see it won't. Sometimes things aren't as straightforward, yes, but it's the general rule. Like peer pressure. Please, please be yourself. If you've noticed, it feels really lousy trying to be part of the cool crowd and you can't always live being so uncertain of yourself. And the cool crowd's just… popular! Who knows, its members might secretly feel very negatively about their lives, and maybe they don't have anyone to guide them. Besides they won't ever respect you if you do ANYTHING to be part of their crowd. That looks stupid. Remember; you're not fooling anyone. Many people would not respect you if they sense you shuffle away your personality and try to be something you're not. You're cool when you have your principles. Another thing. You don't want what other people have. Even if they seem better off to you; they're cool, they're popular, AND they're successful; you never know. So don't envy people. And I'm not trying to sound modest or wise or whatever. I believe every person is fit to live certain experiences; others might not be able to deal with them as well. You always have to take the bitter with the sweet. But first, you have to be capable to take on the bitter. Even if the person seems happy with what s/he has, it's his/her own struggle, and you never know what they're hiding. And the truth is, the higher you climb the ladder, the more responsibility you have to face. All in all, get rid of your fear. That's often hard to remember, but try to remember to have faith. :D . |