"I'll pretend I didn't hear your use of the J word there," Frasier replied as he got out his wallet.

"Oh, sorry, I guess you don't like people referring to Jesus like that."

"I meant junk," said Frasier as he paid Justin. "This is not junk, this is my gift to the world."

"Better get used to it," Martin called from his chair to Justin. "He's been like that all the time since December 1st."

Justin sighed and left. Frasier put the presents on the couch.

"Dad, don't look! Your present is in here!"

"Oh, all right," Martin said as Eddie came in. He jumped onto Martin's lap and started staring at Frasier.

"Do you want your Christmas dinner this year?" Frasier asked the dog. Eddie jumped off Martin's lap and ran to his room.

"You do realise that come the 26th, he won't do that for you anymore?" Martin asked.

"Yes, I know," Frasier said as he started wrapping presents, "but I intend to have as much fun with it as I can."

"I tell you Niles, it's quite relaxing to have everything all prepared. Now I can just sit back and wait for Christmas." Frasier took another sip of his latte. Niles however had a different approach.

"I've still got stuff to do, that way I can keep busy." Frasier knew his brother just wanted Christmas to be done with. It was his first proper Christmas without Maris - last year, they had merely been separated, but now Maris was playing dirty and Niles thought she might want a divorce! Niles continued. "You know, Christmas seemed a lot better when we were children."

"You're right, I can still remember the year we stayed up waiting for Santa, and then dad came in, and realised we were still awake, so he told us that he was inspecting all Santa's goods in case he had to take some down the station!" Frasier chuckled at the memory.

"Have you told Frederick the truth about Santa yet?"

"No, not yet. He's only 7. Lilith and I are going to tell him when he's 10, although Lilith has been preparing him by quoting all these scientific facts about how Santa can't exist. Did you know for instance that he has to visit over 800,000 houses a second? Freddy told me that quite cheerfully yesterday when I phoned."

"I see." Niles took another sip. "Once I found all that out myself, the magic of Christmas just disappeared. It would be nice if there was a Santa Claus, though. Maybe he could bring me and Maris back together."

"Guess what Santa bought me!" a voice called out. The brothers turned around to see Roz enter the cafe with shopping bags.

"The same as all the other men you've been with?" Niles enquired.

"Shut up, you little weasel," Roz retorted. "It's Noel. He's been even creepier than usual. He's trying to get me to go out with him for the Christmas party and won't take no for an answer."

"I wish you a good Noël and a happy new year," sniggered Niles. Roz was about to take him on again when Noel entered the cafe.

"Hello again Roz," he smiled at her.

"Noel, I tried to tell you - I have a boyfriend."

"Who is he then?"

"Um, him!" She pounced on the first man who entered the Cafe, who happened to be Justin the deliveryman. She slipped $5 into his pocket and hissed "Play along!". She turned to Noel.

"Noel, this is my boyfriend, um, Christian."

"Hi there Justin," said Noel to Justin. The two obviously knew each other. Roz went bright red, especially her nose.

"Oh Roz, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?" asked Niles. Roz chased him out of the Cafe. Noel turned to Frasier.

"Dr Crane, how does your brother manage to get her?"

"Easy Noel. He hates her." Frasier smiled as he took another sip and watched Roz chasing Niles down the street.

Frasier woke up on Christmas Eve feeling very good with himself. It was slightly cold, but the weather was alright and Frasier felt very festive.

"Morning Dad, Daphne," he called to his housemates.

"Good morning Dr Crane, Merry Christmas Eve," said Daphne cheerily.

"Daphne, you're quite cheery this morning, considering you're flying to Britain this evening."

"Oh well, when I was walking Eddie this morning, I saw families together and everyone was happy. Maybe mine will be too. That is if Mum and Dad aren't fighting or me brothers aren't calling each other every name under the sun..."

"Oh, that reminds me, Niles called earlier," Martin told Frasier. "He said he wanted to talk to you."

Frasier called his brother's cellphone. "Hello Niles, what is it?"

"Frasier, Maris has threatened to divorce me!"

"Dear God, why?"

"She accuses me of making prank calls to her at 2am, and says that I am harassing her! Frasier, what should I do?"

"Have you tried talking to her?" asked Frasier.

"Yes, but she keeps hanging up!"

"This is serious Niles, try phoning the police, see if that helps."

"OK Frasier, I'll try that? Is Dad there?"

Frasier passed the phone to Martin as Daphne re-entered the room. "My garage just called," she said, "my car isn't ready yet and the supply car has broken down. Could you give me a lift to the airport this evening?"

"Sure thing Daphne. What time?"

"10 minutes ago?"

Frasier, Martin, Eddie and Daphne looked at the destination board. The flight to Manchester had just left. There had been a misprint on Daphne's ticket and she'd arrived too late. Flights to Manchester were all fully booked until the New Year.

"I'm really sorry Daphne," said Martin. "I guess you'll just have to spend Christmas with us."

"Shame though," said Frasier. "Up until now, everything today had gone really well. I'm so sorry Daphne."

"That's alright," she replied. "I'm sure my mum will understand." Frasier realised she was putting on a brave face, after all Harry and Gertrude Moon never visited Seattle so Daphne's trips home were the only time she saw her parents.

Frasier drove them home.

"If it's any consolation I'm not seeing my son this Christmas," he told Daphne, "since it's Lilith and Brain's turn. But I'll still be a part of Freddy's Christmas."

"You're right Dr Crane," smiled Daphne. "Thanks."

They reached the 19th floor and as the lift doors opened, Eddie started barking.

"What is it boy?" Martin asked. They looked and saw the apartment door was slightly open. Eddie pushed it open with his nose and ran inside, barking. Frasier, Martin and Daphne followed him inside. They were shocked at what they saw.

The Christmas tree, decorations and all the presents were gone.

"We've been robbed," said Martin gravely

"Dear God," spluttered Frasier. "Who would do such a thing, on Christmas Eve? And how did they get past the doorman, and why didn't the neighbours notice?"

"There's your answer," said Daphne, pointing to the roof. Loud music was coming from the unit upstairs. Everyone else in the building was at the party held there.

"I wasn't invited to that!" exclaimed Frasier.

Daphne called the police. "Hello, operator?"

The police were examining the apartment for clues. The Cranes, Daphne and Niles, who had arrived just before the police, sat on the balcony.

"My Christmas was going so well too," moaned Frasier.

"I'm just glad Rudolph wasn't on display. Good thing I didn't put him back after fixing that broken bulb," said Martin, referring to the infamous Rudolph decoration that was loud, gaudy and hung up almost every hear to Frasier's disgust. Frasier moaned even louder, so Martin decided to change the subject. "At least we still have each other."

"I suppose so, after all Christmas is a time for family," said Frasier, but this made Daphne feel a bit sad. Niles offered to "comfort" her, causing Frasier to hiss "Niles!" to his brother. Niles let Daphne go and sighed.

"Well, what about my problems with Maris?" he moaned. "I'm spending this Christmas alone, no-one to walk down the hall to their room and greet on Christmas morning. Just me and my girl." Of course, he meant his whippet.

"I can't see any difference," whispered Martin to Frasier, meaning between spending Christmas with Maris and Christmas with Girl, who was "Maris in a dog suit." Luckily Niles didn't hear them.

"Don't worry Dr Crane, I'm sure things will work out fine in the end," said Daphne kindly. Niles smiled.

"Thank you Daphne."

"And it'll work out fine for all of us," said Frasier. "Sure, we've lost my elegant stylish tree, and all our presents, and Niles' marriage is nearly in tatters and Daphne can't see her parents, but we have each other, right?"

The others nodded their heads in agreement as the police officers let them back into the apartment.

Frasier was awoken by the radio on his alarm clock. It was Gil with the morning slot. Frasier had been sneaky enough to get out of it this year.

"...so if you're planning to eat your Christmas dinner at Maximillian's today, I recommend you bring along a saw, since they don't provide one with the meal..."

Frasier turned the radio off. It was too early to get up yet. He was about to doze off again when the telephone rang.

"Good morning, Frasier Crane..." he muttered sleepily.

"Dr Crane? Kevin Sinclair here, Seattle Police. Good news Doc, we caught the criminal!"

Frasier sat upright. "Really? Dad! Daphne!" he called, "they caught him!" Martin and Daphne came into the room as Frasier put the speakerphone on.

"Turns out it was your doorman. We had our suspicions when we noticed that the crook had gotten past the doorman - because he was the doorman. Fingerprints matched up and we busted him a few hours ago."

"That's great, thank you!"

"Your gifts were in his apartment. He claimed he was giving them to orphans, but what would an orphan want with a bottle of 1928 champagne?"

"Now I know what Niles got me," muttered Frasier.

"That's great Kev, thanks," Martin said into the phone. "Merry Christmas."

"Same to you Marty. Merry Christmas all."

The presents had been returned to the Cranes when the telephone rang again. It was Niles.

"Good news Frasier! The police just called, they caught the guy who was pulling those prank calls on Maris! Apparently it was a former servant, Mary, who called from a phonebox and withheld the number. You remember her? She was the one who suggested to Maris one day that she have ice cream for dessert."

Trying to resist any comment about Maris not needing ice cream since she was cold enough, Frasier said, "So what did Maris say?"

"She's dropping the divorce idea and says she's sorry. She's never said that to me before! She's also thinking about getting call screening."

"Good for you Niles, actually I have some good news myself. They found the criminal..."

That afternoon everyone was sitting down watching TV when the telephone rang. Martin answered it.

"Merry Christmas Grandpa!"

"Hey, Merry Christmas Freddy!" Martin said to his grandson. Frederick spent the next few minutes telling him what he had got for Christmas, but finished with, "Of course it was real god of Mom and Brian to get all that for me."

"Mom and Brian? What about Santa?"

"Oh, I know he's not real. You see, if he were, how could he deliver all the presents to all the children in the world who celebrate Christmas?"

"Freddy, I'm just passing you to your dad." Martin gave Frasier the phone, and Frederick told Frasier the same things he told Martin.

"It did kind of take the magic out of it though," Frederick admitted.

"Frederick, listen to me. You are right, there is no Santa. But there is a thing as Christmas magic. Why, just today, Santa Claus - or someone - made it possible that Uncle Niles and Aunt Maris could get back together and that we could get our presents back. There may not be a Santa, but the magic of Christmas is something that will be around for ever."

"I guess you're right Dad. Hey, you wanna talk to Mom?"

Frasier talked to Lilith for a few moments and then hung up. "I'm right, you know. Christmas magic helped our Christmas be great again." He looked at Daphne and realised it hadn't for her.

"Oh, sorry Daphne, everything else has worked out fine for everyone else but not for you. You're still not going to see your family."

"Oh, don't worry Dr Crane. In a way, you and your father are like my family anyway." She smiled. "Merry Christmas Dr Crane."

"Merry Christmas Daphne," said Frasier, and they returned to watching It's A Wonderful Life together.